Does an Affair Mean a Man Isn’t Happy in His Marriage?

1. 58

   affairdetectorposted 14 years ago

   Having a husband or boyfriend who cheated is a big hit to your self esteem.  You begin to doubt your marriage and your ability to make your husband happy or to be enough. And there are tons of old stereotypes which imply that if a man cheats, it’s because his wife doesn’t understand him, he’s not happy in his marriage, or his sex life at home is lacking??

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   1. 74

      earnestshubposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      What I find amusing about these threads about men cheating, is who are they cheating with?
      Or is one woman going around screwing all the men?

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      1. 94

         habeeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Lucky girl! Who is this busy bee-otch???

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         1. 0

            Ghost32posted 14 years agoin reply to this

            

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            1. 74

               earnestshubposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               I don't know who she is, but she sure gets around!

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      2. 0

         Deborah Sextonposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Eve is still around.

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   2. 57

      Challah1202posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I think it means he's probably pretty happy, but he isn't someone to share family responsibilities with, raise children with or balance a check book with.  Maybe we put way too much emphasis on "being happy."

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      1. 81

         TamCorposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         You can never put too much emphasis on being happy...
         
         
         Tammy

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         1. 81

            TamCorposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Oh, and if you're really truly happy--you don't WANT to cheat...husband or wife!
            
            Tammy

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   3. 0

      Brenda Durhamposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Could be!  There's also the possibility that he's simply a jerk.

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      1. 85

         Marisa Wrightposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I don't often agree with you Brenda, but you're dead right this time!
         
         The only reason a man (or a woman) has for cheating is that they're too much of a coward to do anything else.

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   4. 62

      pisean282311posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      could be but that doesnot mean that woman is responsible always...man might have himself created a situation for unhappy marriage and then started looking out...why it can't be that way too??

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   5. 0

      Deborah Sextonposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      As Mallory stated "Because it's there" of course this was referring to Mt. Everest, but anyway..same scenario.

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   6. 57

      The0NatureBoyposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Most man forget doing is called 'our beginning' man were ecological and, if we accept the Bible's account, there was no marriage prior to man's eating 'the knowledge of good and evil', making us live like the other animals. That means what is called marriage is only a 'conditioned state' for social living with the intent of suppressing our instinctual urges which does not stay surpassed in boys and girls alike. Prior to this social living institution the purpose for sexual intercourse was engage in it only when the girl is ovulating; in social living it is seldom mentioned and when it is used it's TO PREVENT REPRODUCING called 'the rhythm method' of contraception. That's the birth to 'sex for lustful gratification' rather than reproduction.
      
      What is lust?
      
      The words 'human and woman' were developed because of a religious belief that one gender was "hewed from" or "woven from man", which is a metaphor revealing from both man genders either the 'yin' or 'yang' was removed and given to another. If we have ever attempted to connect magnets one to another it's done by joining opposing ends together which is what lust is, the internal nature being drawn to opposing internal natures of others man without respecting their genders.
      
      From that understanding man we can recognize the person being cheated on has nothing to do with their spouse's infidelity, it is the nature of social man to lust, however, society only frowns on it when it is done openly by people united in marriage.

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2. 80

   KCC Big Countryposted 14 years ago

   There are probably as many excuses for cheating as there are women to cheat with (same goes for women cheating on men).

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3. 94

   habeeposted 14 years ago

   Affairdetector, I know men who truly love their wives and still cheat occasionally when they get the chance. It's called sport f@#$ing! Sorry, but that's what many of them call it. I learned that term from another hubber years ago, and it's aprapos. And it's not just the men who do it - married women do it, too.

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   1. 74

      earnestshubposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      How else would it work!

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   2. 0

      Deborah Sextonposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      If they TRULY love their wives, they put themselves in her place and don't cheat.
      If intimacy is present between a husband and wife neither will cheat.

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4. 94

   habeeposted 14 years ago

   Well, Earnest, some women think married men only run around with single women. You know - the ones they call "hoes."

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   1. 74

      earnestshubposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      That makes sense Habee!
      The thing is, are there a shortage of married women to do it with? Are they all faithful?
      I find this sort of thread very sexist.

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5. 60

   Rozzy88posted 14 years ago

   I don't believe that someone cheats when they are completely happy in their relationship. I do not believe that cheating is alright to do, under any circumstances. Now, I have worn both the shoes of the "cheater" and the "cheated". Both are bad spots to be in. I cheated on my ex-boyfried. He had a violent temper. I can honestly say I cheated on him because I was extremely unhappy in my relationship and was scared of what would happen to me if I attempted to break up with him. However, with that said, cheating still wasn't the right way to handle it. At the time, I made excuses for myself to justify why my infidelity was "a different circumstance" and that it was "ok". But, looking back, I realize, it was no different, and not ok to do. It was very wrong for me cheat on him, when there were alternative ways for me to break it off, and still ensure my personal protection. Cheating is cheating, no matter how you want to break it down. People stray for reasons. Some examples could be: the love they shared just isn't the same, the sex isn't "new and exciting", there is no sex, the relationship is in a rut (this may be only the cheater's perception), or, maybe the person you're with is, really, just "cold-hearted" and doesn't care. Either way, there is a reason people cheat. Sometimes this matter can be resolved with simple communication, and sometimes, the relationship is just to broken to be fixed. In the end, the one who strays isn't entirely happy with the way the relationship is going.

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6. 0

   shazwellynposted 14 years ago

   Whether you are a cheating woman or man, cheating indicates that a need is not being fulfilled.  Happiness comes from the self.  No one can make someone happy, they have to do that themselves!
   
   Marriages have their dips and highs, needs change and with that so can the marriage.
   
   It is very easy to judge others when it comes to their actions.  However, everyone has their reasons for behaving in the way that they do, whether it is deemed socially acceptable or not, they justify these actions within their individual psyche.

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7. 60

   stephensaldanaposted 14 years ago

   Well, it depends up on the situation....Men indulge in an affair when he isn't happy from his married life of curse especially from sexual life and moreover from routine fights..

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8. 66

   Antecessorposted 14 years ago

   Nothing wrong with cheating I say, as long as its just physical sex. Sex is just a fun activity, a recreation.

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      JeanMeriamposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Yes nothing like the good old fun of bringing an STI home to the spouse. Especially if you get a really good one like HIV or Hep C so you can pass it on to the next generation too.

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9. 38

   brethodgeposted 14 years ago

   Men do extra marital affiar because they seek love in their married life and when they do not get that they try to find it outside in other women. and when tehy get taht love with someone else they have an affair.. it is as simple as that..

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   1. 66

      Antecessorposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Not true, Why do married men go to prostitutes? For love?!!!
      
      Of course not.
      
      Cheating for men (and most women) is for sexual pleasure.

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   2. 0

      shazwellynposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      This is the same for women too!

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10. 60

    theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

    The only married people I have ever had affairs with were women so cant help

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    1. 0

       shazwellynposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       LOL

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11. 60

    theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

    hello shaz

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    1. 0

       shazwellynposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Hello my affair! lol (Just joking!)

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12. 68

    cupid51posted 14 years ago

    Happiness is a comparative term. A couple may feel happy in their relationship until the situation is compared with a better situation.
    It is natural for all human being that they are attracted to the thing or person or a relationship which is forbidden to them.
    But as we are all social animal we must follow the rules and regulation of the society to maintain the discipline.

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13. 0

    ralwusposted 14 years ago

    When I’m good, I’m very, very good. When I’m bad, I’m better.

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14. 0

    ralwusposted 14 years ago

    A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.

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15. 60

    theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

    stop joking and get serious I cant wait forever

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16. 64

    Greek Oneposted 14 years ago

    I don't believe in sex after marriage... with or without one's spouse

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    1. 0

       Deborah Sextonposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Oh, I'm sorry.

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       1. 64

          Greek Oneposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          please.. no begging.. no means no
          
          lol

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17. 66

    sandylongmanposted 14 years ago

    I think some men no matter how good the woman is, they are lacking something within themselves. It starts with the person in the mirror and communication. If your not happy communicate it or work on it. So many people think the grass is greener on the other side. Guess what? The grass needs care so does any relationship.

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18. 59

    desperatejournaposted 14 years ago

    A cheating man is not necessarily unhappy about his marriage, it boils down to him wanting to be happier.

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19. 67

    awareposted 14 years ago

    no

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20. 52

    AmberLennoxposted 6 years ago

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21. 56

    Amit Chadanaposted 6 years ago

    I don't think so. I mean some men are like this.
    They just do it. It really does not mean that there is some issue on women's side.

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