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  1. lsmith131 profile image83
    lsmith131posted 9 days ago

    What is Marriage?

    1. dashingscorpio profile image86
      dashingscorpioposted 8 days ago in reply to this

      Marriage is a government legally sanctioned relationship status.
      Should a couple decide to part ways they will need to go through a divorce court in order to be free of each other's legal obligations and marry again.
      Among the benefits of marriage in the U.S. is the ability to collect one's deceased spouse social security benefits for themselves or their children.
      Any wealth or assets accumulated during the marriage is divided in the event the couple files for divorce. You're legally considered "family".
      Essentially marriage is a legal "lifestyle choice" to build a life together.

      A few things a marriage is not:

      1.  Marriage is not Commitment

      Truth be told commitment comes BEFORE there is a marriage!
      Commitment is (behavior) the couple displays within their relationship.

      Very few people would marry anyone who was not committed to them.
      Exclusive relationship couples expect the same things as married ones!

      With the rise in instances of infidelity and the divorce rates it would be naïve to believe that (marriage) means "commitment".
      There are lots of married couples who are far from being committed.
      And then you have couples like Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn who have been living together for over 34 years. (The ring is not the thing.)
      A commitment is only good for as long as the couple are happy and in agreement to continue the course. No one is "stuck" with anyone!

      Last but not least "God" didn't choose your mate for you!
      If God were a "matchmaker" I'm sure the divorce rate wouldn't hover around 50%! Marriage like most decisions we make are at "free will".

      2. Marriage is not Happily Ever After!

      There is no such place or time! Your work is never done!
      We're either growing together or growing apart. There is no neutral!
      No one is going to fill your days with sunshine and rainbows for life!
      We all evolve and grow over time so instead of expecting things will go smooth don't be surprised when they don't. Some people will tell you that marriage is "hard work". However it's really "A Labor of Love".

      Whatever we want out of life usually comes with responsibilities to maintain it whether it's getting a dog, having a baby, buying a home, getting married, or growing a garden.

      Essentially the so called "work" is doing whatever it takes to nurture and maintain your "garden" rather than allow it to wither and die.
      It's the mature and responsible thing to do. Take care of what you wanted.
      {After all no one has to have a garden or get married!}

      3. Marriage does not mean you are loved more.

      Some people view marriage as a "goal" oftentimes women in particular.
      However a wedding and a slice of cake will not make a couple love each other anymore than they did the night before. Your legal relationship status is not a measure of the amount of love you have for someone.
      There are lots of married people who secretly are still "in love" with the one who got away, their "first love", or one of their exes.
      They were forced to settle for "Mr./Ms. Good Enough".
      They had to eventually move on emotionally and physically.
      It was a practical/mature decision they made and not their fairytale.


      1. lsmith131 profile image83
        lsmith131posted 8 days ago in reply to this

        Wow,  this is good information.Thank you so much for your reply! It only sounds right to have solid commitment before marriage as a marriage would not work if there was no commitment from both sides. A lot of people think that your relationship means happily ever after when you arrange for marriage; I see that this is not always the case, and thank you for clarifying. You gave an excellent explanation. I will keep this in mind when my time comes. Thanks again!

        1. dashingscorpio profile image86
          dashingscorpioposted 7 days ago in reply to this

          You're welcome. Best wishes!

  2. Kathryn L Hill profile image82
    Kathryn L Hillposted 5 days ago

    That is a good explanation, dashingscorpio. Especially, where you say we don't have to get married.   As they say: One must be very careful not to end up with a cell mate rather than a soul mate.

    In my view, marriage is usually for the sake of doing the right thing for society and the kids who come along. If you establish a spiritual union, go ahead and declare it, legally. I think marriage mostly protects the family unit and also the woman who might become unattractive, compared to younger models, as time goes on. (And vice versa.)

    If your boyfriend will not commit through marriage, move on, unless you can be certain of avoiding pregnancy or don't mind and can afford being a single mother.

    However, my personal opinion is that it is not fair to the child to deprive him of a legal father. Fathers, it turns out, are very vital to positive child development.

    PS Better to rely on yourself and not get involved with someone who just want to use you for recreational sex. If you feel you are also using the person in this way, it will end badly. The sex center and the love center are in very close proximity within the brain. Sex should lead to love. When love is not involved, humans suffer.

    Thats why they call it the blues.

    1. lsmith131 profile image83
      lsmith131posted 4 days ago in reply to this

      Hello Kathryn ,
      I love that, "don't end up with a cell mate rather than a soul mate". It is only right to get married for the right reasons, if you do it for the wrong reasons, you may be looking at divorce in the future. Thank you for your reply!