I am a 21 year old lesbian who has been single for a very long time. I don't really go for most of the lesbian crowd( at least in my own town) because I don't click with them and I don't find them to be very genuine.
I met this amazing woman about 3 weeks to a month ago. We have been hanging out ever since. We really clicked and had good chemistry. She really likes me, and I really like her. I love everything about her.I have really fallen for her. We click in every way but one, she has a 2 year old daughter and I do not feel ready at all to be a parent.She told me that she wants a partner who wants to make that commitment(not in those words but basically).
I don't know what to do. I really like her and can't imagine not being with her, but the idea of being a parent right now seems insane. I am still not even on my own two feet.
There is the possibility that I could love her so much that teaming up with her would come naturally, but becoming a parent is a huge responsibility, and we've only been hanging out for a month.
It just sucks. Please help me. This woman is everything i've dreamed of but I don't know if I can commit to raising a child right now.
Being a mother of an 18 month old, and on the brink of getting back out there possibly, i cant imagin making someone im interested in feel as though just because they were dating me, that they all of a sudden had to become a parent. Theres no reason you guys have to move fast. And if your afraid you have to jump in full force so that you dont lose her, be careful. Children are delicate, and need stablility. A breakup wont only effect you, it would effect the child as well. Remind her that you want to take it slow because you thinking of everyones needs, and not just yours. Besides, you dont want to end up resenting someone you care so much about for pushing you into being a full on parent. Slow and easy does it...i hope you can take it slow and develope a relationship that makes you feel ready enough to take that step!
You've only known her a month, what is the hurry in making a decision? Get to know her more. Spend a little time around the daughter, see how you interact. You may enjoy her company too. I wouldn't rush into anything. Let it develop. After a bit of time you'll know the right thing to do.
I say, form a solid foundation as friends first, then see where things go from there. Without having much information about the two of you, and not knowing either of you(or them), that would be the only advice I can give.
Should you try to bring a relationship too soon, then you are doomed for failure.
Just my thoughts on it.
Maybe you could get better advice from people that know you, as I learned through being attacked, repeatedly, the forums are not a place to share personal information. Honestly just warning you with a smile. Good luck to you and for sure welcome !!!!!!!!!!!!!
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