jump to last post 1-2 of 2 discussions (12 posts)

I feel lost

  1. 61
    loveitallposted 5 years ago

    I recently broke up with who I thought was the love of my life. We had been seeing each other for 2 months. So it was new and exciting..we seemed to have hit it off on all levels. Mental,emotional,physical and spiritual.He told me he loved me, I was the one he was looking for we would talk for hours on the phone. We had fun on our dates. He would reassure me that he wasn't going anywhere.He was planning out all the things we were going to do together for our future.  He left clothes ,shoes, and personal items at my home. He even went so far as to give me pictures of him as a child from his family album. Telling me how deeply he loved me. Things he said to me and did left a lasting impression on my psyche. Then he sent me a love e-card via e-mail in the morning and by that same night he called and said he didn't want to see me anymore? He is single lives alone, I know he isn't seeing anyone else. We are in our 60's. I have been hurt before in life. But this has disturbed me deeply I can not wrap my mind around it.The pain for me is real because I do have deep feelings for him. I do not take telling someone you love them lightly and have told him so. My question to anyone out there is ,Can you really love someone and do what he did without warning or reason,it seems crazy to me . I am in pain and need help anyone?

    1. prettydarkhorse profile image63
      prettydarkhorseposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Did you go to his house already? Do you know his circumstances that well? Strange but maybe there is a big reason for his cutting the blossoming relationship. Maybe you can write him a letter an ask him for the reasons of the closure. Tell him it is important for your healing process just so you have a closure. If not, then you just have to treat as a good experience of a "short love" episode in your case.

      1. 61
        loveitallposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        Yes I know  a lot about this man ,intimate things he would never tell anyone..like things about his childhood, his relationships, yes I have been to his home ...he is hiding nothing from me honest. He introduced me to his personal friends as his girlfriend we were exclusive. The crazy part of it is the same day he breaks it off, he tells me how he loves me that very morning...this guy has me checking my reality big time.

    2. 0
      Home Girlposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      At least you can request an explanation. I think you should. Playing with smb.'s feelings is not a nice game.

      1. 61
        loveitallposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        Thank you home girl for your reply it is appreciated

    3. Insight1987 profile image61
      Insight1987posted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Yes, request an explanation.

      But, at bottom, people are frequently just 'messed up.' Look at how many bad relationships they're in, and keep returning to. He CLEARLY has an emotional and/or psychological issue, not only with closeness, but probably things from his past, as well. The lack of empathy is disturbing, but it's probably not cruel or anything -- just psychotic.

      No sane person breaks off a relationship so suddenly and without explanation, unless there's a deeper, underlying issue that's been festering and festering. Not that you'd be responsible -- to think that you're responsible for the irresponsible, etc., actions of another, will only hurt you further.

      I've had relationships, dates, etc., with all sorts of people, and most had weird issues. One girlfriend broke up with me for no reason at all, and completely shut down afterward; another let me 'play around' with her, enjoyed it, yet refused to ever speak to me again; another -- someone I truly liked -- just got up and stopped returning phone calls, and, years down the line, is so out of control of her emotions that she needs to physicaly avoid me, although I hold no grudges. It hurts, but it's also a very common thing, too.

      1. 61
        loveitallposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        I appreciate your input,because you have hit the nail on the head. My problem is I am trying to make sense out of something that isn't rational. I have my share of problems and dysfunction in my own life. But I would never do that to another person,especially someone I felt anything for much less deeply loved as he kept telling me. It's as if he has a switch that he can turn on or off...I don't;  once my feelings get aroused I can't just make them disappear. I feel  alot of pain right now. That is why I am reaching out...I have no one close by to relate to while I go through this...If he would just give me some type of closure ..I could chalk it up as a bad experience instead of wonder what is wrong with me ..THANKYOU

    4. paradigmsearch profile image91
      paradigmsearchposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      I’m starting to wonder about these kinds of opening posts…

      Brand new user with these kinds of posts is happening more and more.

      I’m beginning to wonder if:

      A.    Phishing for vulnerable people.

      B.    Various research projects.

      C.    Etc.

      1. 0
        Home Girlposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        Paranoya kicks on Friday... big_smile

  2. mistyhorizon2003 profile image92
    mistyhorizon2003posted 5 years ago

    Is it possible he may have had a looming Doctors appointment today, was worried about it and e'carded you in the morning to tell you he loved you, before then getting bad news from the Doctors? If the news was really bad he might have loved you enough to break things off with you so that you wouldn't have to have your heart broken by watching anything awful healthwise, gradually killing him off, e.g. Cancer.

    I hate to sound all doom and gloom here, but it is one suggestion that if true, would actually make some kind of sense.

    1. 61
      loveitallposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Thank you for your reply...He is very healthy at least physically I appreciate your response.

      1. mistyhorizon2003 profile image92
        mistyhorizon2003posted 5 years ago in reply to this

        How can you know? If he wanted to protect you he wouldn't tell you, so you would be none the wiser unless you were his Doctor?