jump to last post 1-4 of 4 discussions (6 posts)

Give me back my single life!!

  1. HouseSeller profile image60
    HouseSellerposted 5 years ago

    Do you ever find yourself missing a life you once enjoyed and thought it would never come to an end? well I've hit that road!

    I happen to be dating a divorced guy with two kids. He's a great guy, good man and loyal. We've been dating for just a year now but three months ago, I decided to move in with him which meant I had to leave the city where I was living and join him in a new city. Ever since I moved here, I've been so depressed. My guy works all the time and travels on business a lot. So in a week I see him just twice and that's only because his kids are around for share of custody.

    and yes it's the same old boring story. I've basically become a bored housewife. I work from home and so I spend all my day in front of this PC. I've haven't left the house in 8 days now just because I feel so dead and empty.

    Worse thing is every time I initiate sex, he always complains that he's tired but when he initiates it, even though I dont want to, I give in because I dont want to make him feel I dont fancy him.

    Now I've lost touch with all my friends and family. Every time I call someone, they're either too busy or they just don't respond. So am trapped. Worser thing is I have no desire to cheat on him at all as I do love him but this passionless life is killing me slowly.

    I miss my single life so much, when I had my own place, my friends, when I was outgoing, when I worked at the office. My life was vibrant, exotic, exciting but since moving here I have lost all that and now I want it back!!

    I'm practically just existing and not living. And I've tried everything.. from dress-ups, role plays (sadly he's just a "missionary guy") to booking romantic nights at hotels but my partner is a complete workaholic and when he has some free time, he gives it to his kids. I waited 8 years to find a loving man and I thought it would be the icing on the cake when I finally have him but it's like am just eating the icing..

    Anyway long story short, I want my life back but I can't seem to let go of this because I genuinely love him. I'm just disappointed that being in a relationship is not as fun as I thought it would be. Maybe because I'm with a guy who has baggage.. and I mean a lot of it!

    Anyway, I'm just depressed. I need some cheering up. So if you can tell me a joke or a story just to keep my mind of this, that'd be great!


    1. Hollie Thomas profile image59
      Hollie Thomasposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Maybe you just need to ask yourself, what you personally, are getting out of this relationship and compare it with what you are giving. Once you have reconciled this, you have the answer, if it's unbalanced, attempt a balance. If you can't, you know what you need to do.

  2. knolyourself profile image59
    knolyourselfposted 5 years ago

    Seems a choice to me. Be miserable now or leave your situation and be miserable later. The first might be misery forever. The second might be misery for awhile, but something else might come along.

    1. HouseSeller profile image60
      HouseSellerposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      LOL that's actually made me laugh. But you're absolutely right. smile

  3. psycheskinner profile image84
    psycheskinnerposted 5 years ago

    I have to agree that you don't have to stay there--assuming you are fully self-supporting.  If you don't want to cohabit with someone who has a full time off-site job and other demands on his energy... you didn't make a good choice.

  4. ubanichijioke profile image51
    ubanichijiokeposted 5 years ago

    I think the best thing is to sit him down and talk to him. Tell him about the pain and agony he is putting you through, search for better means of communication and look for solutions together. Hopefully you will find a solution.