Judgements

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   Beth37posted 10 years ago

   They're interesting don't you think?
   
   One neighbor might judge us on the kindnesses we bestow while others might judge us on the length of our grass.
   
   We might be judged here based on our posts though it is usually the tone that is inferred, which changes from person to person based on their own perceptions.
   
   Our own family members might judge us differently due to personal memories which vary from person to person.
   
   What qualifies us to judge and do we judge based on how we were raised or our own outlook on life? Should we judge others? What circumstances make it ok and what if we are incorrect?
   
   Also, I am curious to see what heading they "file" this post under.

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   ChristinSposted 10 years ago

   I think it depends on the context.  Everyone at every moment judges things based on past experience, it is how we learn and how we assimilate new information.  Being judgmental is a different story. This is where mindfulness comes in.  We can and do, judge things based on a glance, but what matters is if we hold onto that judgment as concrete, or if we open our minds to changing that initial judgment.  I believe being open-minded and willing to let the past stay in the past keeps us from being judgmental in ways that undermine or are harmful. 
   
   For example, I had an abusive boyfriend in my past.  I could have judged every future guy based on those perceptions.  It would have been understandable perhaps, but it wouldn't have been helpful.  If we color everything from a place of judgment we miss out on opportunities to grow.  I had to consciously decide to let that go whenever evaluating potential future partners. The result was I was able to let go of my defenses enough to open up and trust and find a great partner. 
   
   Judgment itself is not bad - it's what we do with it after that first reaction.

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      Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Mmmm. So making judgements is necessary, but being judgmental is not. Good thoughts.

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3. 94

   jansharesposted 10 years ago

   Interesting subject to post, Beth37, as we know a lot of that goes on daily, even in our beloved HP community. We can't help ourselves as human beings to judge each other. I'm intrigued by the subject and wrote a poem hub about it. What qualifies us to judge? The fact that we are human. It's in our nature.
   
   I think when judging another person turns into envy, contempt, resentment, gossip, feelings of prejudice, or, as they say on the street, "hatin' and grittin' " then it needs to stop.

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      Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Very interesting Jan.
      
      As a Christian, do you think it is different to discern than to judge?

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         jansharesposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         IMO, discernment involves using your head, putting on your thinking cap, weighing pros and cons, using your objectivity, while looking at all sides. Judging involves emotion, your gut, your heart, all of which is influenced by beliefs and values, therefore, very subjective. Just sayin' . . .

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            Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

            Yes, I agree... judgement is very subjective to our upbringing, to our current circumstance and to basic opinion. It's weird isn't it, how many opinions there are in this world. I mean, there must be one per person in a way... so there are over 6 billion opinions. Yet, it's funny how many of those opinions we let influence us.

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            Rochelle Frankposted 10 years agoin reply to this

            The word "judgement" seems to have a negative connotation even though it is on par with the terms "discernment" and "discretion"-- after all, we can say that a person who avoids negative situations shows "good judgement".

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               Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

               A judge is a position of honor, but making oneself "judge and jury" is considered dangerous. So what is the qualifier?

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                  Rochelle Frankposted 10 years agoin reply to this

                  Maybe it is objectivity-- or at least having a larger view.
                  One person does not constitute a jury. A judge may be able to view a situation with objectivity, but when a jury with several individual viewpoints  can reach a consensus , it provides a better chance to achieve objectivity.
                  Now you are making me think, and I don't want to think right now.

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                     Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

                     lol.. sorry. Very interesting points of view though.

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   paradigmsearchposted 10 years ago

   I have a neighbor whose dog yaps over 16 hours a day. My judgement is why would someone want such a hate-filled creature in their home.

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      Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      lol.

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      psycheskinnerposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Given that barking is just talking in dog language, one could make the same comment about most of the users of this forum.

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         Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

         lol

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         Rad Manposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         Most dogs don't bark nearly as much as we talk, they communicate primarily with body language. I imagine they must wonder why we talk so much. My dog seems to understand about half of the things we say, so sometimes we have to spell stuff out, but when we start spelling he gets excited because he knows we are talking about him.

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   Reality Bytesposted 10 years ago

   I believe it is labels that disrupt society.  Whether self imposed or brought upon by others, believing in labels hinders active societal communications.  Example:  If a child is labeled as a fat kid, and cannot overcome that label, that individual may struggle with their weight for the rest of their life.  Not because it is true, but that they believe it to be true.  Bad at math, bad speller, shy kid,  etc....
   
   People will allow themselves to be labeled Republican or Democrat and then defend that belief through the course of their lives.  Even if the party completely disregards their individual belief system, they will defend it because that is what they believe they are.

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      Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      But what if they are... overweight, bad at math, democrat, republican... which of those things harms us? Which of those things keeps us from showing mercy or receiving mercy from them? Is it a lack of humility on the part of the person who judges? Which of us are without weakness or strengths?

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         Reality Bytesposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         It is within the individual themselves.  By believing the labels that are imposed on them, they have an excuse to not attempt to change.  Their mind closes to outside possibilities.  I have a family member that cannot read.  I have offered many times to teach him, but his mind is closed to the possibility that he is capable of learning.  This is absurd.  All power lies within the individual.  Change your mind, change the world.
         
         As far as politics many just submit to what has been taught to them without any critical thinking.  Almost like they have been trained to root for their favorite sports team.  Win, lose, or draw, they support their side without question.

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            Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

            This is lovely.

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   cjaroszposted 10 years ago

   I just wrote about judging. Its quite selfish if you stop and think about it.

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