I have to go public with this and I ask you for your forgiveness.....

1. 63

   Greek Oneposted 9 years ago

   As many of you know, i will be running for the Presidency of the United States in 2016.  According to my polling numbers, I am well ahead of any other potential candidates who are not American citizens, and who do not intend to move to Washington once elected.
   
   I must, however, make a revelation which I hope will not erode the support of my followers.  Over the past few months, I too have exchanged flirtatious emails with General Petraeus.  It all started innocently enough.  In August of this year, I had asked the CIA leader if he could help me smuggle into Canada some Peter Pan Peanut Butter (not currently available here in Canada).  Mr. Petraeus replied that he would be happy to provide me assistance, as I will no doubt become Commander 'N Chief in a few years.  In exchange for his service however, he indicated that he wanted me to "#@%@%@%^ his Peter Pan".
   
   Well, suffice to say, one thing lead to another. I am not proud of our electronic intercourse, but in my defense, I do so love Peter Pan Peanut Butter.
   
   Although there was no physical interaction between the two of us, and the only evidence of our internet correspondence is a series of emails and a peanut butter-laced keyboard, I want to come clean with you, the American public.
   
   I ask for your forgiveness, and request that you please do not tell me wife (or she will never let me use the computer again)
   
   Yours Truly,
   
   Your Future President, Greek One
   
   
   

   replyreport
   1. 86

      CMHypnoposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      You told me I was the only one!  And I believed you! 

      replyreport
      1. 63

         Greek Oneposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         you fell for it?

         replyreport
         1. 86

            CMHypnoposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            Of course, it was a condition of getting the 6 figure deals with several well known British gossip mags.  I had to come across as trusting and naive lol!  Important to get in first though, it gets real old after seven or eight women come out as having been used and abused by the GO.. Hope you didn't mind me photoshopping your head onto that young hunks body.

            replyreport
            1. 63

               Greek Oneposted 9 years agoin reply to this

               i don't mind...
               
               
               but my penis is offended

               replyreport
               1. 90

                  Cardisaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                  You are not supposed to say it like that. You were supposed to say my pen is offended

                  replyreport
                  1. 63

                     Greek Oneposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                     .but it's more of a 'magic marker'

                     replyreport
                     1. 90

                        Cardisaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                        I could tell from how it appears and disappears.

                        replyreport
                        1. 86

                           CMHypnoposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                           Is it day-glo yellow or is that just the peanut butter?

                           replyreport
                           1. 63

                              Greek Oneposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                              .. It contains nuts.. what else do ya want??

                              replyreport
                              1. 86

                                 CMHypnoposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                                 If it contains nuts then you need to be properly labelled - you could get sued if someone has an allergic reaction and they can prove that you didn't disclose the contents you know

                                 replyreport
                                 1. 90

                                    Cardisaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                                    He needs to do that in a Jiffy or blame it on the Swiss, darn Skippy....don't you think?

                                    replyreport
                  2. 80

                     quicksandposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                     Space button malfunction.

                     replyreport
2. 58

   Drive-by Quipperposted 9 years ago

   Canada has a president?
   
   Have you been to prison, or what?

   replyreport
   1. 63

      Greek Oneposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      not yet.. but probably in the near future

      replyreport
3. 81

   Mighty Momposted 9 years ago

   Honesty is always the best policy, GO.
   I commend you for fessing up to your penchant for Peter Pan Peanut Butter.
   Perhaps the best course of action is to run as an independent or start your own third party.
   Here in the States, you're up against two fairly well entrenched giants.
   The Skippy Party and the Jif Party.
   Both are well known for runng smear campaigns, with budgets sweetened by big jelly PACS.
   Oh yes -- the red jams (strawberry, raspberry) vs. the blue jams (concord grape).
   You might do well to reach out to the fluff o nutters...
   (Oh wait, duh. That's a given).
   
   Well, good luck to you on your campaign.
   As to the Petraeus connection, I wouldn't worry about it. Our 24-hour news cycle will no doubt be a 24-second news cycle by 2016. Petraeus is already rapidly fading from his own story. In a few weeks no one will remember his name.
   On the other hand, I understand this Jill Kelley chick has a twin who is a mother seeking to regain custody of her son.
   Choosy mothers choose Jif. But don't dismiss a possible celebrity endorsement for your PP candidacy...
   

   replyreport
   1. 63

      Greek Oneposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      What if I can get my Peter to get Skippy in a Jif?

      replyreport
      1. 81

         Mighty Momposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         That is the definition of tripartisanship!
         I'd say it's a winning strategy for both public and especially private life!

         replyreport
         1. 90

            Cardisaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            I want to say something but I am laughing too much right now

            replyreport
            1. 83

               LuisEGonzalezposted 9 years agoin reply to this

               I'm laughing so hard my stomach aches, Oh my God, where does Greek One come up with this stuff!!!.....................

               replyreport
            2. 57

               Drive By Quipperposted 9 years agoin reply to this

               Are easily entertained, or what?
               
               

               replyreport
4. 0

   Motown2Chitownposted 9 years ago

   Oh, Greek One. 
   
   I worry about you.
   
   

   replyreport
5. 57

   A Troubled Manposted 9 years ago

   

   replyreport
   1. 0

      Motown2Chitownposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      HA!

      replyreport
6. 67

   CASE1WORKERposted 9 years ago

   As you dont have to do the job for another four years, we could use you in the good ole United Kingdom. We have a rather old institution called the BBC that would need someone of your calibre to lead it. (I think the peanut butter thing could be arranged-) just e mail callmedave@No10.gov.uk

   replyreport
   1. 63

      Greek Oneposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      i do have a thing for Scottish ladies

      replyreport
      1. 70

         Pearldiverposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         ......  Shame - Shame on you Sticarus... your peanut butter is so tart! 

         replyreport
7. 59

   Xenonlitposted 9 years ago

   This made me spit my coffee. Canada owes me a new Wal Mart t shirt and one ounce of Folgers!

   replyreport
8. 75

   Life Iz Beautifulposted 9 years ago

   lol....this one is too gud!!!

   replyreport
9. 60

   Maestrony8posted 9 years ago

   

   replyreport