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  1. paradigmsearch profile image94
    paradigmsearchposted 4 years ago

    From an email...

    Number 1:


    If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.

    He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility .....

    Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'

    A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'

    Q: 'Officer, who provided this description?'

    A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'

    Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'

    A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'

    Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'

    A: 'Yes sir, we do!'

    Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'

    A: 'Yes, sir, I do.'

    Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'

    A: 'Yes, sir.'

    Q: 'Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'

    A: 'You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'

    The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.

    Number 2: I'll get around to posting it in due course. If anyone else knows any good comeback lines, feel free to post.

    1. fpherj48 profile image75
      fpherj48posted 4 years agoin reply to this

      This is a TREASURE.  I cannot imagine this officer will not win as having the best comeback!  Perfect!  I'm married to a retired Attorney, who would agree!!  LOL

    2. profile image0
      Sarra Garrettposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      ha ha ha ha you made me smile for the day with this one!!!

  2. paradigmsearch profile image94
    paradigmsearchposted 4 years ago

    Now We Know Why He Was a General -----


    In a recent interview, General Norman Schwarzkopf was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harbored and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America.

    His answer was classic Schwarzkopf.

    The General said, "I believe that forgiving them is God's function... OUR job is to arrange the meeting."

  3. paradigmsearch profile image94
    paradigmsearchposted 4 years ago


    Dana Perino (FOX News) describing an interview she recently had with a Navy SEAL. After discussing all the countries that he had been sent to, she asked if they had to learn several languages?

    "Oh, no ma'am, we don't go there to talk."


  4. paradigmsearch profile image94
    paradigmsearchposted 4 years ago

    NUMBER 4

    Conversation overheard on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz while flying from Europe to Dubai .

    Iranian Air Defense Site: 'Unknown aircraft you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself.'

    Aircraft: 'This is a United States aircraft. I am in Iraqi airspace.'

    Air Defense Site: 'You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our airspace we will launch interceptor aircraft!'

    Aircraft: 'This is a United States Marine Corps FA-18 Fighter. Send 'em up, I'll wait!'

    Air Defense Site: ( ... total silence)

    God bless our troops. There is something about our military that makes other countries listen to reason..

  5. profile image0
    Brenda Durhamposted 4 years ago

    Love these!

    Sorry I don't have any great lines to post.....
    Maybe give me 'til next year, ok?  ha

    1. paradigmsearch profile image94
      paradigmsearchposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks. Just trying to perk things up around here. big_smile

  6. LeanMan profile image87
    LeanManposted 4 years ago

    This is still one of my favorites..


  7. seanorjohn profile image80
    seanorjohnposted 4 years ago

    " This is no time to be making enemies."
    Voltaire on his deathbed when told to renounce Satan.

    Oops this was way before 2012.