Got a flash fiction that refuses to get traffic?

1. 56

   paradigm searchposted 7 years ago

   Post it here...
   
   I'll start.
   
   
   Well, now. That was delicious...
   
   Today was not starting off well. Never did get a chance to go to the store yesterday. It was my turn to make breakfast. Did the best I could with what I had. I even put food in the bowl for the wife’s obnoxious chihuahua.
   
   The Missus walks in. I set the plates on the table. Came up with a pretty good meal actually. Especially the coffee, found still had some of those gourmet grounds leftover.
   
   We talk for awhile. “You did good, what with not being able to go to the store yesterday,“ she said, "and this coffee and bacon are delicious."
   
   “Thanks,” I said. We plan our day. Nothing special. Work. School. Kids. And picking the car up from the shop. Not looking forward to seeing that particular bill...
   
   I start putting the dishes in the sink.
   
   “Where’s Sparky?” she suddenly asked.
   
   I turned. “Where do you think the bacon came from?”

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2. 82

   LuisEGonzalezposted 7 years ago

   Kind of sick but I had to laugh!!!

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   1. 56

      paradigm searchposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      It's what I do.

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3. 60

   mybrianthe fixerposted 7 years ago

   If that's what you do make a vid / podcast then we all can forget you forever. Become! or in your case get human first.

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   1. 82

      LuisEGonzalezposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      You do know that's a joke, right??? And in any case if you don't like the humor, you can always not read it.

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4. 56

   paradigm searchposted 7 years ago

   I am contemplating the infamous armadillo hub that QAP piddled on...

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5. 56

   paradigm searchposted 7 years ago

   Made $10+ it did on B way back when. Dead now of course.

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6. 56

   paradigm searchposted 7 years ago

   Here's one I was afraid to post because of AdSense rules. However seems to be ok here.
   
   The Gun. The Vodka. The Fork in the Road…
   
   
   The gun lay on the table. Right next to the bottle of vodka.
   
   Actions have consequences…
   
   The left fork… Yes, I will perform this action. The right fork… No, I won’t.
   
   Contemplation seems in order here… There! That another drink has really helped clarify my mind…
   
   Come to think of it, let’s have a couple more… And some more…
   
   Still undecided, but I stand up and put the gun in my jacket pocket. Out the front door I go…
   
   Three blocks I walk. There’s the bank. I sit on the park bench across the street and stare. “Do I really want to do this?”
   
   I notice the gun shop next door.
   
   The $300 lay on the table. Right next to the empty bottle of vodka. “$300 for a used gun isn’t bad,” I think to myself.
   
   I went to bed.

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7. 82

   LuisEGonzalezposted 7 years ago

   Creatively funny...you've got style!

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   1. 56

      paradigm searchposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      My Home Depot experience.... Too bad it pays as armadillo...

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8. 56

   paradigm searchposted 7 years ago

   No one posting their own. F ck it, I shall wander elsewhere.

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9. 56

   paradigm searchposted 7 years ago

   "But where?" says the rabbit.

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10. 56

    paradigm searchposted 7 years ago

    And quit.

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11. 60

    mybrianthe fixerposted 7 years ago

    H.R.1508 - Space Resource Exploration and Utilization Act of 2015

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12. 78

    brakel2posted 7 years ago

    That was good food from the lovely restaurant and Whole Foods.
    
    A relative came to visit and ate dinner with us. We were so grateful. She is generous.
    
    "That will be $118." she exclaimed.
    
    I guess nothing is free anymore, even from a generous family member.

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13. 60

    mybrianthe fixerposted 7 years ago

    Great writing. I wasn't posting about the fork that someone sat on, it's about what your Congress has just passed a bill about ( out there! in space which they will never admit or deniy). H.R.1508 - Space Resource Exploration and Utilization Act of 2015. is all about human resources of world. Check it out then pass the word. peace to all.

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14. 56

    paradigm searchposted 7 years ago

    My Home Depot adventure coming up...

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15. 56

    paradigm searchposted 7 years ago

    Meanwhile... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AT_Pbtyid0

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16. 56

    paradigm searchposted 7 years ago

    So...
    
    My Visit to Home Depot
    
    Home Depot has ATM’s. I did not know that.
    
    I decided I needed $40. I put in my card and made the request.
    
    The ATM informed me in effect, “Sorry, dude. Am offline.”
    
    I really needed that $40.
    
    Home Depot has sledgehammers. That I did know. I went and got one.
    
    I once again properly addressed the ATM. But once again, no joy.
    
    10 minutes later I had my $40. Home Depot could no longer sell the sledgehammer as new. Sorry about that.
    
    As for the ATM and money scattered all over the floor, I really did feel bad. But I really needed that $40. I even left a note on what was left of the ATM so they could deduct it from my account.
    
    I went about my business...
    
    
    While standing in the checkout line 15 minutes later, two nice police officers showed up.
    
    “Hi,” said I.
    
    “You’re under arrest,” said they.
    
    
    The cot was quite comfy. But alas, they took my $40.

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    1. 78

       brakel2posted 7 years agoin reply to this

       This is quite funny. You are so creative and need to write a hub with these little yarns.

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       1. 56

          paradigm searchposted 7 years agoin reply to this

          Find me traffic.

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             Pico Trianoposted 7 years agoin reply to this

             If I knew how to get lots of traffic to my comedy hubs, I'd let you in on the secret. I even put links and descriptions on a special page on my author's blog. It doesn't appear to be worth the effort.

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17. 91

    Jodahposted 7 years ago

    Ok here goes:
    
    Pour Pour Pitiful Me
    
    The water poured down heavily, dancing a tarantella on the roof and windows.
    
    "When will this ever stop?" asked Sarah anxiously, "I'm feeling claustrophobic cooped up like this."
    
    "Stop exaggerating!" scolded her husband John, as he eased his foot down onto the accelerator. "It's only a car wash for God's sake."

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