I'll start. This is a real eye-roller and groaner for grownups, but youngsters (up to about age 8 or so), will probably laugh themselves silly.
Q. What kind of fruit do ghosts like to eat?
And who among us is old enough to remember the 'elephant joke' craze? Time to inflict those groaners on the grandkids!
WHILE I'M HERE . . .
I guess that I am just paranoid, but the following two hubs:
"Special Rules for Prom Dating"
"So Long, Practical Jokes and Stressful Things in Office Meetings,"
Have yet to have one comment.
I wager to ask and I am not complaining, but is there something wrong with HP?
What did I do? Just humbly asking.
How can you tell if there's been an elephant in your refrigerator?
You can see his footprints in the cheese dip!
LOL! Good one. Gotta love me some elephant jokes. Go ahead!!!
Be careful what you ask for; those jokes were in their heyday when my kids were in school!
Why was the elephant painting its toenails red?
So he could hide in the strawberry patch.
WARNING: this has to be THE Corniest Joke EVER!
Elephant and his family are driving on their yearly vacation. They have decided to head to Grand Canyon and everyone is excited.
On one of the many rest stops, the elephant has an "accident" in the rest room, or is it, "Elephant's Room," but is not afraid for he has some new tidy whitey's to slip on when he heads back to the car.
Then upon realizing that he is spacing out and lashing out and all, the dad, "Harold," asks him, "Hey, elephant! What's the problem? We need to make good time in order to see the Grand Canyon."
Elephant stops, then replies, "Can't you see?" he says almost calmly.
"MY Trunk is EMPTY!"
Wow! Even I got sick on that one.
Hey, now. We gotta be tough. Or is it "tuff?" I had to really work on that one and after that joke, I may take a week off.
What's the difference between a mouse and an elephant?
About a ton!
Here's one I always liked when I was a kid:
What did the hat say to the scarf?
"You hang around, I'll go on a head."
Ooohhh...that's below the belt! LOL Very reminiscent of Rodney Dangerfield.
No, I do not choose to irritate you, but the joke was from Henny Youngman, the "King of One Liners," as seen briefly in the nightclub scene in "GoodFellas," not Dangerfield, although he was as good as Youngman. And now for "Biff Steele," with sports . . .
What did one wall say to the other wall?
Hey babe I'll meet you in the corner. LOL
Okay--here's a real old-fashioned riddle. It comes from back in the 1800s, and was told to me by a great grand aunt when I was a child. In her youth, she was a school teacher, and riddles made you think, instead of only being silly.
"Old Mother Twitchet had but one eye,
and a very long tail, which she always let fly.
Every time she went over a gap,
she left part of her tail in a trap.
What was she?"
I'll let you all chew on that for a while, instead of providing the answer here immediately.
Yep! Patty is correct! ;-) You can give yourself a gold star!
There were others of this ilk, and I'm wracking my brain to try and remember them!
Karl Gauss was a famous mathematician. One of the earliest stories about Karl is set in a 19th century classroom.
In an attempt to get some nap time at the back of the classroom, the teacher posed a summation problem that assuredly will keep the children busy for the entirety of the class. “Add all the whole numbers from one to one hundred. That is, 1+2+3+4+5 …98+99+100.”
To the teacher’s dismay, whilst some children were still busy writing down the question, Karl came forward with the correct answer within a few seconds!
Are you able to provide the right answer & understand what method Karl used to solve this problem so easily.
(I'm no mathematician, so this one escapes me...but, I copied/pasted the riddle, as the answer is too easily seen on the website..)
See what you folks make of it!
Now, back to the easy ones; really for kids!
Q. What bird would make a good detective?
A. An owl; they're always asking "who?"
Okay--I finally remembered the old 1800's riddle/puzzle from my Great Grand Aunt...put your thinking caps on! Ready?
Elizabeth, Elspeth, Betsy and Beth
all went out to find a bird's nest.
They each found a nest
with 4 eggs in it.
How many eggs did they find?
Q. Why do chicken coops have two doors?
A: Because, if the had four doors they would be chicken sedans
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