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Jokes and Riddles for Kids

  1. DzyMsLizzy profile image92
    DzyMsLizzyposted 4 months ago

    I'll start.  This is a real eye-roller and groaner for grownups, but youngsters (up to about age 8 or so), will probably laugh themselves silly.

    Q. What kind of fruit do ghosts like to eat?

    A. Boo-berries!  wink

    And who among us is old enough to remember the 'elephant joke' craze?  Time to inflict those groaners on the grandkids!  lol

    1. kenneth avery profile image82
      kenneth averyposted 4 months ago in reply to this

      L smile L, DzyMsLizzy, Loved it!
      Now for MY Joke for Youngsters:
      How do you get Down from an Elephant?
      You don't. You get Down from a Duck!

      1. DzyMsLizzy profile image92
        DzyMsLizzyposted 4 months ago in reply to this

        lol  (Hahaha...actually...from a goose! ;-) )

  2. Terrielynn1 profile image83
    Terrielynn1posted 4 months ago

    that's really cute, I love it.

    1. kenneth avery profile image82
      kenneth averyposted 4 months ago in reply to this

      Thank you, DzyMsLizzy smile

  3. kenneth avery profile image82
    kenneth averyposted 4 months ago

    WHILE I'M HERE . . .
    I guess that I am just paranoid, but the following two hubs:
    "Special Rules for Prom Dating"
    and
    "So Long, Practical Jokes and Stressful Things in Office Meetings,"
    Have yet to have one comment.
    I wager to ask and I am not complaining, but is there something wrong with HP?
    What did I do? Just humbly asking.

  4. DzyMsLizzy profile image92
    DzyMsLizzyposted 4 months ago

    How can you tell if there's been an elephant in your refrigerator?

    You can see his footprints in the cheese dip!

    1. kenneth avery profile image82
      kenneth averyposted 4 months ago in reply to this

      @DzyMsLizzy,
      LOL! Good one. Gotta love me some elephant jokes. Go ahead!!!

      1. DzyMsLizzy profile image92
        DzyMsLizzyposted 4 months ago in reply to this

        Be careful what you ask for; those jokes were in their heyday when my kids were in school! 

        Why was the elephant painting its toenails red?

        So he could hide in the strawberry patch.    roll

        1. kenneth avery profile image82
          kenneth averyposted 4 months ago in reply to this

          Dzy, oh wow! You just defeated my joke! LOL!

      2. kenneth avery profile image82
        kenneth averyposted 4 months ago in reply to this

        DzyMsLizzy,
        WARNING: this has to be THE Corniest Joke EVER!
        Elephant and his family are driving on their yearly vacation. They have decided to head to Grand Canyon and everyone is excited.
        On one of the many rest stops, the elephant has an "accident" in the rest room, or is it, "Elephant's Room," but is not afraid for he has some new tidy whitey's to slip on when he heads back to the car.
        Then upon realizing that he is spacing out and lashing out and all, the dad, "Harold," asks him, "Hey, elephant! What's the problem? We need to make good time in order to see the Grand Canyon."
        Elephant stops, then replies, "Can't you see?" he says almost calmly.
        "MY Trunk is EMPTY!"
        Wow! Even I got sick on that one.

        1. DzyMsLizzy profile image92
          DzyMsLizzyposted 4 months ago in reply to this

          Grrrroooooaaaaannnnnnn.......lol  roll  ya got me!

          1. kenneth avery profile image82
            kenneth averyposted 4 months ago in reply to this

            @DzyMsLizzy,
            Hey, now. We gotta be tough. Or is it "tuff?" I had to really work on that one and after that joke, I may take a week off.

          2. always exploring profile image82
            always exploringposted 4 months ago in reply to this

            What's the difference between a mouse and an elephant?
            About a ton!

            1. DzyMsLizzy profile image92
              DzyMsLizzyposted 4 months ago in reply to this

              LOL!  I'd forgotten that one!

              1. kenneth avery profile image82
                kenneth averyposted 4 months ago in reply to this

                @DzyMsLizzy,
                My wife said that for vacation she wanted me to take her to a place where she had never been, so I told her to go into the kitchen.
                Ba-boom!

  5. FatFreddysCat profile image91
    FatFreddysCatposted 4 months ago

    Q: What do vegetarian zombies eat?
    A: Graaaaaaiiiins!

    1. DzyMsLizzy profile image92
      DzyMsLizzyposted 4 months ago in reply to this

      :-D

  6. SmartAndFun profile image92
    SmartAndFunposted 4 months ago

    Here's one I always liked when I was a kid:

    What did the hat say to the scarf?

    "You hang around, I'll go on a head."

    1. DzyMsLizzy profile image92
      DzyMsLizzyposted 4 months ago in reply to this

      Cute; that's one I've not heard before!

  7. DzyMsLizzy profile image92
    DzyMsLizzyposted 4 months ago

    Ooohhh...that's below the belt!  LOL  Very reminiscent of Rodney Dangerfield.  wink

    1. kenneth avery profile image82
      kenneth averyposted 4 months ago in reply to this

      @ smile DzyMsLizzy,
      No, I do not choose to irritate you, but the joke was from Henny Youngman, the "King of One Liners," as seen briefly in the nightclub scene in "GoodFellas," not Dangerfield, although he was as good as Youngman. And now for "Biff Steele," with sports . . .

  8. Terrielynn1 profile image83
    Terrielynn1posted 4 months ago

    What did one wall say to the other wall?
    Hey babe I'll meet you in the corner. LOL

    1. DzyMsLizzy profile image92
      DzyMsLizzyposted 4 months ago in reply to this

      lol

  9. DzyMsLizzy profile image92
    DzyMsLizzyposted 4 months ago

    Okay--here's a real old-fashioned riddle.  It comes from back in the 1800s, and was told to me by a great grand aunt when I was a child.  In her youth, she was a school teacher, and riddles made you think, instead of only being silly.

    "Old Mother Twitchet had but one eye,
    and a very long tail, which she always let fly.
    Every time she went over a gap,
    she left part of her tail in a trap.
    What was she?"

    I'll let you all chew on that for a while, instead of providing the answer here immediately. lol

  10. Patty Inglish, MS profile image89
    Patty Inglish, MSposted 4 months ago

    Sounds like needle and thread.

    1. kenneth avery profile image82
      kenneth averyposted 4 months ago in reply to this

      That would be my vote smile

      1. always exploring profile image82
        always exploringposted 4 months ago in reply to this

        Appears like Patty got it? I'm racking my brain and can't come up with anything, and it's driving me nuts. lol

    2. DzyMsLizzy profile image92
      DzyMsLizzyposted 4 months ago in reply to this

      Yep!  Patty is correct!  ;-)  You can give yourself a gold star! lol

      There were others of this ilk, and I'm wracking my brain to try and remember them!

      1. always exploring profile image82
        always exploringposted 4 months ago in reply to this

        We're ready for another riddle. This is fun!

  11. DzyMsLizzy profile image92
    DzyMsLizzyposted 4 months ago

    Karl Gauss was a famous mathematician. One of the earliest stories about Karl is set in a 19th century classroom.
    In an attempt to get some nap time at the back of the classroom, the teacher posed a summation problem that assuredly will keep the children busy for the entirety of the class.  “Add all the whole numbers from one to one hundred. That is, 1+2+3+4+5 …98+99+100.”

    To the teacher’s dismay, whilst some children were still busy writing down the question, Karl came forward with the correct answer within a few seconds!

    Are you able to provide the right answer & understand what method Karl used to solve this problem so easily.

    (I'm no mathematician, so this one escapes me...but, I copied/pasted the riddle, as the answer is too easily seen on the website..lol)

    See what you folks make of it!

    1. DzyMsLizzy profile image92
      DzyMsLizzyposted 4 months ago in reply to this

      Stumped everyone with that, eh?  Well, here's a link to the answer (remove spaces to make it work):

      http:/  /www.  math.wichita.edu/history/men/gauss.html

      Answer is in the 4th paragraph.

  12. DzyMsLizzy profile image92
    DzyMsLizzyposted 4 months ago

    Now, back to the easy ones; really for kids!  lol

    Q.  What bird would make a good detective?

    A.  An owl; they're always asking "who?"

  13. DzyMsLizzy profile image92
    DzyMsLizzyposted 4 months ago

    Okay--I finally remembered the old 1800's riddle/puzzle from my Great Grand Aunt...put your thinking caps on!  Ready?

    Elizabeth, Elspeth, Betsy and Beth
    all went out to find a bird's nest.

    They each found a nest
    with 4 eggs in it.

    How many eggs did they find?


    lol

  14. mike102771 profile image86
    mike102771posted 4 months ago

    Q. Why do chicken coops have two doors?



    A: Because, if the had four doors they would be chicken sedans

    1. mike102771 profile image86
      mike102771posted 4 months ago in reply to this

      Q, Why do the trees in Toledo lean to the north?

      A. Because Michigan sucks

 
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