I'd like feedback on my Hub: Cockroaches zombified

1. 0

   burhanuddin1999posted 7 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Cockroaches zombified (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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2. 0

   pen promulgatesposted 7 years ago

   Hey Burhan,
   
   Honestly, your article has an incredible potential and could be a very interesting piece if you worked on its presentation.
   
   Here are some observations:
   
   After a period there must be a space before you begin the next sentence.
   In your very first line, you wrote 'But' without a space.
   
   Your topic is on Emerald Jewel Wasp, who attacks cockroaches and lay eggs inside the cockroach for the baby wasp to grow. I believe you must only write about that. Comparing with human beings, doesn't relate to the topic much. Though your point can be understood, but I find it out of context.
   
   In the jewel wasp paragraph, you say 'several unique animal.' When it is several (plural) why animal is singular?
   
   Over there, the comma is spaced incorrectly (Evolution ,  we).
   Evolution, we is right.
   
   Why cock tail of neurotoxins?
   As you have written cocktail as cock tail, It sounds different (you know what I mean). Simply say a large amount of neurotoxins or various neurotoxins.
   
   It is better to end your sentence 'Emerald jewel wasp is one such example, with a period rather than comma. It's a complete sentence. If closely related, use semi colon between complete sentences.
   
   The entire capsule of the brutal fate of cockroach needs reworking. The meaning is not clear at all. Cockroach grooms. What does it mean?
   
   In short, you must reword the entire article into a more comprehensible one.
   You must especially work on grammar and punctuation.
   
   Use apps like Grammarly to correct most of your errors.
   
   The images you use must be legal and must have creative common license. Otherwise, you should have permission to use them. You cannot just download from Google. You may face penalties. Use images from websites like pixabay and pexels.
   
   I was still intrigued to read the article because of your idea. The video is super. If you re-wrote the article and got it proofread, you would create an excellent piece of work.
   
   Hope these help.
   Good luck.

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3. 0

   burhanuddin1999posted 7 years ago

   Hey sir, I acted upon your guidelines, now I hope it will get published.
   
   Be sure to check it out.
   Thank-you

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