I'd like feedback on my article: Quaker Parrots Amazing Pets

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  1. Susan Sears profile image93
    Susan Searsposted 14 months ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article Quaker Parrots Amazing Pets (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

    1. Jeremy Gill profile image95
      Jeremy Gillposted 14 months agoin reply to this

      Susan, here are my suggestions:

      1) Watch grammar. In particular, use more commas.
      2) Bold the subheadings in the "Bringing your Quaker Parrot Home" section.
      3) In the text of the paragraph "Feeding Your Quaker" you immediately repeat the same words, "Feeding Your Quaker"; remove this repetition.
      4) Be aware that HubPages is soon automatically changing all half-width capsules to full-width, so you might want to manually change your half-width capsules and make adjustments if necessary.

      Best of luck.

      1. Susan Sears profile image93
        Susan Searsposted 14 months agoin reply to this

        Thank you for the advice, Jeremy, I will make the changes you suggested.

    2. TIMETRAVELER2 profile image99
      TIMETRAVELER2posted 14 months agoin reply to this

      I agree with Jeremy, but there are deeper problems.

      You introductory paragraphs do not need subtitles.
      You are missing a summary.
      You repeat key words and terms far too often.
      Also, I see nothing in this piece that tells me you own this type of parrot or have any personal experience with it.
      Your capsules and sentences are far too long which means you would lose a reader quickly.
      You need more capsules with more appropriate subtitles.
      Your photos are not captioned, nor do they carry correct accreditation.

      Frankly, to me, this looks like an article that was mostly spun from info you found elsewhere on the net.  Writing on HP must be original.  An article about your own pet parrot and what you have learned from owning him would be much more appropriate.

      If you see that your article is mostly info that can be found elsewhere on the net, it's likely you'll never get it featured.

      Sorry, but it's better for you to understand what is required here than to let you keep banging your head against the wall.

      1. Susan Sears profile image93
        Susan Searsposted 14 months agoin reply to this

        Timetraveler,
        Some of the information is things that I have discovered in various places and on the web over the last 20 years of owning Quaker Parrots. I guess the only picture I accredited was the one that was not my own picture. I will be making changes to make it more my personal story-experience with the birds I have owned. I must not have made it personal enough - I thought the statement like my parrot, or Levi, my bird enjoys ....was making it clear that I owned a Quaker.I  will be looking closer at my article and be implementing some of the changes you suggested.

        1. TIMETRAVELER2 profile image99
          TIMETRAVELER2posted 14 months agoin reply to this

          With online writing, you cannot assume anything.  People rarely read every word but often skim the capsule subtitles, which is one of the reasons you should use them.

          If you have a lot of experience with these parrots, this topic would create a good niche site for you, but you have to use your own experiences and expertise when you write them.

          Adding stories to the facts makes them much more interesting for readers and lets them know that you know what you're doing...this gives you credibility and makes your writing unique.

          Keep at it. You'll get the hang of it if you keep practicing, and in time, all of this will come easy.

          1. Susan Sears profile image93
            Susan Searsposted 14 months agoin reply to this

            Yes, this type of writing was different for me - my 1st 4 hubs were featured and moved to niche sites right away but they were a different type of writing. Writing this hub has been more challenging which is good for me...I am  learning

    3. Marketing Merit profile image95
      Marketing Meritposted 14 months agoin reply to this

      I agree with TT2. The first thing I noticed was the overuse if the word Quaker. In addition, you have a link at the bottom of your hub which is not really necessary. I would be inclined to remove this.
      Hope this helps!

      1. Susan Sears profile image93
        Susan Searsposted 14 months agoin reply to this

        I am not sure how I would not use Quaker since that is what I am writing about - would if I took that word out the reader have to assume? Also which link - I think you sre looking at the food? That is the food that I tell readers that I feed my parrot Levi? Let me know if that is what you are referring to.

        1. TIMETRAVELER2 profile image99
          TIMETRAVELER2posted 14 months agoin reply to this

          There are several terms you can use to substitute for "Quaker Parrot"...for example

          bird,
          pet,
          Levi,
          My little friend,
          species,
          companion

          You have to think outside the box in situations like this.

        2. Marketing Merit profile image95
          Marketing Meritposted 14 months agoin reply to this

          TT2 has already provided a list of alternatives. Also, you could just drop the word Quaker and use parrot on its own. Yes, that's the link that I am referring to. Not sure that you will get that approved, but by all means, try it.
          Good luck!

    4. Marisa Wright profile image97
      Marisa Wrightposted 14 months agoin reply to this

      A few points in no particular order:

      1.  Do not put a heading on photos or Amazon capsules or videos (leave it blank).   For photos, add a caption instead.

      2. Delete the poll.  It's not really relevant.  Don't feel pressured to include a poll - it's just a suggestion.  Only include one if you can think of a good question to ask.

      3.  I'd recommend switching one of the Amazon capsules to an Amazon link instead.  Probably the second one (to do that, click on the chain icon to create a hyperlink as normal, then in the box that pops up, look for the Amazon tab).

      I recommend you read my Hub on How to Optimise Your Hubs (you'll find it on the slider on my profile), especially the section on introductions.  You need to turn your thinking upside down!   Currently you've got a general intro to the parrot, and then you move to the specifics of caring for one.   You need to move the general stuff to the end.

      1. Susan Sears profile image93
        Susan Searsposted 14 months agoin reply to this

        Thank you Marisa I will look at your article and see if I can figure out the Amazon link ...I have not tried that yet.

 
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