I'd like feedback on my article: Key determinants to consider while writing a...

  1. Alex muiruri profile image80
    Alex muiruriposted 2 weeks ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article Key determinants to consider while writing a school based composition. (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

    1. theraggededge profile image94
      theraggededgeposted 2 weeks ago in reply to this

      Hi there,

      Title should be in title case, and 'factors' would be a better word than 'determinants'. And I wonder why you say 'school based'? Couldn't you just say school composition?

      "Key Factors for Writing a School Composition". Or leave 'school' out all together. "Key Factors for Writing a Quality Composition" "How To Write a Perfect Composition".

      There are a few grammatical errors sprinkled through the article, for example, in the second sentence, "This is because they do not like practice writing during their spare time." Should be 'like to practice'.

      A few misplaced commas and punctuation errors, "The art of writing; sitting down with a blank paper, planning... " Should be a colon, not a semi-colon.

      Too many occurrences of 'that'. Re-read your sentences with and without 'that'. If they work fine without it, leave it out.

      "Make sure that you concentrate on what you write."
      "Make sure you concentrate on what you write."

      Do you see what I mean?

      The thing is, when you are writing about writing, your grammar and punctuation have to be perfect, otherwise you lose all credibility. It's tough.

      "...you have to know the organization of the composition you are needed to write." 'Needed' should be 'required'. The whole sentence is clunky, I think, and it leads to a list of different types of article which are irrelevant to the topic. If you are writing about school compositions, you don't need to go off on a tangent about research papers, blog posts and whatnot.

      Spell check: "Every beginner faces a writing chalange at some point."

      I don't understand this sentence, "And one thing I have come to realize, the writing exams' setting are always quite simple." A setting is a place. Are you referring to questions? "The questions set for the exam are always quite simple."

      "For instance, if you read this sentences:" These sentences.

      There are too many errors for me to fix them all. You have to really proofread this. It has to be spot-on, otherwise it will fail QAP, or worse, it will be approved and you will look a bit silly advising students to use good grammar, when you are not using it yourself. Every word, phrase and sentence has to be right.

      I will say, though, if English is your second language, you have a good command of it. I'm sure you can get this through with a little work.

      Good luck.

      1. Alex muiruri profile image80
        Alex muiruriposted 12 days ago in reply to this

        Thanks. And yeah, English is my second language, but I am having trouble passing the QAT on my articles in Hubpages.
        I am thinking of getting a second party proofreader to rewrite my work when I finish.
        Do you think that that's a good idea?
        Or should I forget about it?

 
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