In another post we were discussing gender specific "pet peeves." As I answered one of the posts I realized I had no idea what to call the man in my life.
"Boyfriend" sounds very ridiculous...I'm in my 40's and he's 19 years my senior (no, he doesn't have money..lol) and "significant other" always sounds like one has a few "insignificant" others lurking about. When I say "my partner" people assume I am a lesbian and am talking about another female...so what the hell do I call him?
When we're out, I simply introduce him by name; if people can't figure out we are a couple they must be daft. But when speaking about him in a forum such as this I have no idea what to call him!
I have heard the following Man friend man Pal (sounds like dog food) My ....Buddy, Bit on the side.
Ball and Chain. My man, which sounds like you met in gaol.and lastly but not leastly the mostly truly revolting.
My Honey Woney. EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. Just say your partner as I do.
I like the word boyfriend, personally. It's a nice, edgy, not stodgy, flirty way to put it--although see the point with some thinking it juvenile. I do call my partner, my partner--usually around an older crowd--nobody ever thinks I'm gay.
Wow. You and Demi Moore.
Hmmm, not exactly..Demi is what 19-20 years older than Ashton...we're the other way, he's 19 years my senior (older than I).
my girlfriend and i have lived together for 3 and a half years and she just refers to me as her husband, i still call her my girlfriend, maybe i can call her my semi-wife
If she's saying "husband" and you're still thinking "girlfriend" you two may need to talk!
All kidding aside, it's just something I've noticed; there is really no age appropriate term for the person you are dating when you are older.
Call him what feels best to you and let other people worry about their own interpretive limitations. I tend to refer to people's partners as their "partner" for any unmarried relationship regardless of gender or orientation.
Partner is not too specific, and most people will not care to know any details unless you provide them.
You know, I have the same problem. Boyfriend sounds too juvenile, fiance' just prompts the question, when are you getting married? I hate that question. If it is not broke, don't fix it. I have called him my partner and too people thought I was a Lesbian, but what the heck, i just call him Ryan and they can read into it what they want to.
I think if I were in that situation I'd call him a "friend" to people who didn't know me very well, call him by his first name to people who did, and - if the time ever came - call him "fiance" if/when it became appropriate.
I almost think those of us with friends (platonic, same-sex, ones) in your situation kind of know there's that different way "friend" can be used sometimes.
My other thought was just to describe your activities with him to your friends and let them figure it out. "This is George, we sleep together, yell at each other, tell each other we love each other, eat meals together, call each other twice a day and have been doing so for 2 years, george meet pam."
Or how about, "This is George, my - ahem - 'friend'" (and then do the thing with using hands to point out quotation marks).
I kind of like "guy-friend" in the right circumstances. (Not a big fan of the announcing the thing about sleeping together every time one meets someone new )
I hear you on that. WHich brings to mind a great story about a retarded friend we have. One time our retarded friend Joe was meeting my Uncle Gene's wife Jerry and the thing about Joe is that he doesn't look retarded, he's not down syndrome, anyhow he shakes Jerry's hand and matter of factly says to her "hi, I'm Joe, I like to masturbate." She had this classic "what the hell face" and her reply was "good for you" then my mom went over to her and whispered in her ear that he's retarded. IT was classic.
Hmmm. It can be a problem. I have a good friend, female, who became my business partner when we collaborated on a book.
When we filled out all the partnership agreements and legal business things we were legally and officially business partners.
Opening a bank account, getting a seller's license and all the other things required giving almost all of our personal information. We commented to each other that it was almost like getting married.
Though she is a very dear friend, it always seemed kind of funny to call her "my partner", when we each have been married to our own husbands for more than 40 years.
Changing meanings and terminology can get rather fuzzy.
by the pink umbrella 10 years ago
Okay, im facebook friends with my high school boyfriend, and he asked me if id like to go for coffee and catch up. he's married, and i have a boyfriend, well kinda. I am not out to be a cheaty cheater, im just not sure if he is. Should i go? its just coffee.
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