What do you call?...

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   lisafwg01posted 14 years ago

   In another post we were discussing gender specific "pet peeves." As I answered one of the posts I realized I had no idea what to call the man in my life.
   
   "Boyfriend" sounds very ridiculous...I'm in my 40's and he's 19 years my senior (no, he doesn't have money..lol) and "significant other" always sounds like one has a few "insignificant" others lurking about. When I say "my partner" people assume I am a lesbian and am talking about another female...so what the hell do I call him?
   
   When we're out, I simply introduce him by name; if people can't figure out we are a couple they must be daft. But when speaking about him in a forum such as this I have no idea what to call him!

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      mandybeauposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I have heard the following Man friend man Pal (sounds like dog food) My ....Buddy, Bit on the side.
      Ball and Chain. My man, which sounds like you met in gaol.and lastly but not leastly the mostly truly revolting.
      My Honey Woney. EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. Just say your partner as I do.

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         lisafwg01posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         If I ever start calling Kevin my "honey woney" please, slap me...HARD!!

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      Leta Sposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I like the word boyfriend, personally.  It's a nice, edgy, not stodgy, flirty way to put it--although see the point with some thinking it juvenile.  I do call my partner, my partner--usually around an older crowd--nobody ever thinks I'm gay.
      
      Wow.  You and Demi Moore.

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         lisafwg01posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Hmmm, not exactly..Demi is what 19-20 years older than Ashton...we're the other way, he's 19 years my senior (older than I).

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            Leta Sposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            OH!  Well, in that case!  Maybe 'friend?'  Or, actually, in a cliche sense, you would be the 'friend.'    lol
            
            You should refer to him any way you want.

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      marcsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      my girlfriend and i have lived together for 3 and a half years and she just refers to me as her husband, i still call her my girlfriend, maybe i can call her my semi-wife

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         lisafwg01posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         If she's saying "husband" and you're still thinking "girlfriend" you two may need to talk!
         
         All kidding aside, it's just something I've noticed; there is really no age appropriate term for the person you are dating when you are older.

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            marcsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

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   tksenseiposted 14 years ago

   Call him your master. He'll like that.

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   relacheposted 14 years ago

   Call him what feels best to you and let other people worry about their own interpretive limitations.  I tend to refer to people's partners as their "partner" for any unmarried relationship regardless of gender or orientation.

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   earnestshubposted 14 years ago

   Partner is not too specific, and most people will not care to know any details unless you provide them.

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   fortunerepposted 14 years ago

   You know, I have the same problem.  Boyfriend sounds too juvenile, fiance' just prompts the question, when are you getting married?  I hate that question. If it is not broke, don't fix it.  I have called him my partner and too people thought I was a Lesbian, but what the heck, i just call him Ryan and they can read into it what they want to.
   dori

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   tksenseiposted 14 years ago

   Whoa! Too much info!  (what's the safety word?)

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      lisafwg01posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      LMAO...Great, I just choked on my drink..I think you owe me a keyboard!

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         tksenseiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Sorry!

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   Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

   I think if I were in that situation I'd call him a "friend" to people who didn't know me very well, call him by his first name to people who did, and - if the time ever came - call him "fiance" if/when it became appropriate.
   
   I almost think those of us with friends (platonic, same-sex, ones) in  your situation kind of know there's that different way "friend" can be used sometimes.

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   Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

   It's too bad "man-friend" sounds so creepy.   

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      marcsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      My other thought was just to describe your activities with him to your friends and let them figure it out. "This is George, we sleep together, yell at each other, tell each other we love each other, eat meals together, call each other twice a day and have been doing so for 2 years, george meet pam."

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         Lisa HWposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Or how about, "This is George, my - ahem - 'friend'" (and then do the thing with using hands to point out quotation marks).
         
         I kind of like "guy-friend" in the right circumstances.  (Not a big fan of the announcing the thing about sleeping together every time one meets someone new    )

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            marcsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            I hear you on that. WHich brings to mind a great story about a retarded friend we have. One time our retarded friend Joe was meeting my Uncle Gene's wife Jerry and the thing about Joe is that he doesn't look retarded, he's not down syndrome, anyhow he shakes Jerry's hand and matter of factly says to her "hi, I'm Joe, I like to masturbate." She had this classic "what the hell face" and her reply was "good for you" then my mom went over to her and whispered in her ear that he's retarded. IT was classic.

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               Rochelle Frankposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               She was very calm and objective-- especially considering the fact that she was shaking his hand.

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                  marcsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  true that, you know the hand shake thing must have had her thinking there for a second

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   Dame Scribeposted 14 years ago

   Always resort to 'ole man, my other half' lol

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10. 92

    Rochelle Frankposted 14 years ago

    Hmmm. It can be a problem. I have a good friend, female, who became my business partner when we collaborated on a book.
    
    When we filled out all the partnership agreements and legal business things we were legally and officially business partners.
    
    Opening a bank account, getting a seller's license and all the other things  required giving almost all of our personal information. We commented to each other that it was almost like getting married.
    
    Though she is a very dear friend, it always seemed kind of funny to call her "my partner", when we each have been married to our own husbands for more than 40 years.
    
    Changing meanings and terminology can get rather fuzzy.

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    Janettaposted 14 years ago

    hmmm...I'm thinking boy toy

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