The Aliens Have It

1. 60

   onthewritesideposted 15 years ago

   I've just received word back from my home planet, Targon, concerning the research reports I submitted for review last month.  It seems as though the 12 Elders are in 91.6% agreement with their perspective on the so-called "intelligent life" on this beautiful blue orb.  The Sheeple of the world have been measured...and found wanting.  The demise of the human race is imminent.  The 12 Elders have concluded that the entire population of the Earth can be summed up like this:
   
   Type 1:  People of advanced character and intelligence discuss ideas.
   
   Type 2:  People of average character and intelligence discuss events.
   
   Type 3:  People of below average character and intelligence discuss other people.
   
   The decision would have been unanimous, but one Elder refused to agree, basing his decision on the fact that he rarely experienced any Type 2's, and almost never encountered Type 3's in his research.  Of course that's only because he spent most of his time on HubPages.com.  Unfortunately, the other 11 Elders took their evidence from a much broader demographic and have decided to rid the planet of all human beings except Type 1's.
   
   My question to you all is:  "Should I try to get them to reconsider?  Or should I just say the heck with it and let the cleansing begin?"

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2. 60

   goldentoadposted 15 years ago

   Let the cleansing begin!

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3. 72

   Candie Vposted 15 years ago

   I'd vote for cleansing.

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4. 60

   onthewritesideposted 15 years ago

   well that's 2 votes for taking bleach to the gene pool....anyone else?

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5. 93

   RedElfposted 15 years ago

   Yeah, but don't look back when you leave town - remember what happened to Lot's wife...you'll end up as a big pillar of alien something, lol

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      onthewritesideposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      What's interesting about the upheaval of sodom and Lot's wife...the Babble says that she was turned into a pillar of salt.  But the Hewbrew word for salt is the same as the word for vapor (because of the salt-filled Dead Sea and the vapors that rose from it).  So really what happened to Lot's wife was that she was "vaporized"...like someone standing in the way of a nuke.

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      1. 93

         RedElfposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Okay - you'll be a big pile of alien nothing, lol

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         Pete Maidaposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         That is realy cool insight.  I love information like that.  I say let all of the number ones know that they are talking about each other and they will kill themselves off.

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            Candie Vposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            Well that was my point, but I erased it and forgot to put it back. How do we be #1 without resorting to being #2s and #3s? Do we hafta use bleach?

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6. 70

   diplessposted 15 years ago

   cleansing gets my vote

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7. 0

   pgrundyposted 15 years ago

   I'm with Pete.
   
   Actually, Hubber's can perform their own nonviolent cleansing by staying away from the forums (as you can see, I still can't do it), and not watching television.

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8. 69

   Anti-Valentineposted 15 years ago

   So this is what they talk about when they mention 2012 being the end of the world. Oh well, go ahead- get rid of EVERYBODY then!

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9. 60

   princess gposted 15 years ago

   Give us all a chance! We're only human!
   
   Even the Sheeple:(
   
   And if all else fails, at least at least we taste good!

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    Alien invasionposted 15 years ago

    Well you cant argue with the elders.

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       RedElfposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Sure you can...as long as you stay away from the forums and don't watch TV, lol. Can't see that happening either, .

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    Alien invasionposted 15 years ago

    Lets see now where's my salad fork?

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12. 73

    Quilligrapherposted 15 years ago

    I think that I would like to discuss the idea of your trying to get the elders to reconsider.  This would then make me a type 1 person and, at the same time, make any further discussion irrelevant.
    
    Q.

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    1. 60

       onthewritesideposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Good Answer!  It's guys lie you that will save the planet!  (Well atleast the #1's)  LOL!

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13. 69

    Anti-Valentineposted 15 years ago

    No! Don't save the planet! We need to start over!
    
    A bunch of us 1s (most of us on HubPages, surely) will go off into space and settle on a space station until a suitable planet is found to sustain hub-human life.
    
    Then you can do what you want with this dump.

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