How to Handle Requests We Don't Want to Write About

1. 63

   Lisa HWposted 15 years ago

   Is there an etiquette with regard to getting requests and not answering them?  Somehow it just seems rude to delete them and ignore the requester; but if we e.mail them to politely decline there's the chance that all they wanted was our e.mail anyway.
   
   Yesterday morning, before I even had my coffee, I checked e.mail and saw a request to write about "eternity".  Well, nobody really wants to think much about eternity at 8 in the morning  .  Besides, eternity isn't what I write about.  I discovered that the requester actually pretty much writes about "eternity" and Jesus and little else and (call me "paranoid") I couldn't help but wonder if this very religious-writing person may be building a contact list.  Then, though, I know that people who are "all into" religion just "eat and sleep it", and I know maybe this person may have just been being his "religious self".  Still, I didn't want to be rude and just delete the request without saying anything.  (Of course, that's what's I'm going to do - but the point it I'd prefer not to be so rude.)
   
   I kind of wish (if there isn't already and I'm just missing it) there was a way to click on a "politely decline" button next to the "answer this request" button.

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   1. 67

      darksideposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I've only had one request. I'm not interested in it so I've ignored it.

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      Aya Katzposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      If you don't want to decline, you can use the "eternity" topic to write about something you were thinking about writing about anyway: attaining immortality as a writer, or living on through your children, or any other topic that really isn't religious, but could have "eternity" in the title.

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2. 70

   anjalichughposted 15 years ago

   Depends on who's requesting. If it's a friend on HP, I would either write a hub if I can or else I would e-mail to him / her stating reasons for not having been able to do that. It happened with me once but that time it was from a person whom I never interacted with (on HP) and besides, the kind of subject I was asked to write on, was beyond the scope of my knowledge. So, I just ignored it. Simple!

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3. 63

   Lisa HWposted 15 years ago

   I've ignored this one, but I do feel kind of bad about it.  Then again, if someone just has his own agenda I don't.

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4. 67

   relacheposted 15 years ago

   Just remove the request by clicking the little red X.
   
   Personally, I think the huge post you did here going into detail about the person who asked you and what you think of them is more rude than just deleting the request would have been.

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      mdawson17posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      You have made a valid point relache this post was rude because even though we do not know who it was the very person that sent the request does! There is a simply resolution Lisahw do not allow yourself to be contacted by HP! Furthermore why must you attack those who breath and sleep religion that is not right some walk one way and others walk still yet another way! It is not right to show hatred for how people choose to believe!

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5. 63

   Lisa HWposted 15 years ago

   It wasn't intended to be rude.  I suppose I just assumed that "religious types" know that not-that-religious types often speak in "down-to-Earth" language about religion.  (I'm not some to, as my mother used to call it, "la-di-da people".)  Maybe, too, I had some "sub-concious" resentment about the wording of the request and belief that it wasn't my writing the person was really interested in.

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6. 63

   Lisa HWposted 15 years ago

   To be honest (and maybe I should have said this in my original, "big, long" post) I did wish there were a way to add a polite decline rather than just ignore it.  At the same time, this person was interested in my writing what s/he asked and reaching (as s/he mentioned) the number of fans I have.  Originally, I wanted to be polite because I assumed the motives were just driven out of their belief in "spreading the word".  So I gave them the benefit of doubt as far as motives went.  At the same time - yes - it irked me that this person wanted to manipulate me into writing what s/he wanted me in order to "reach" whatever fans I have.  In view of the fact that there's no polite way to contact them without sharing my e.mail address, I gave up the idea of trying to be gracious awhile back.  Oh well, so the consensus is "just ignore them". 

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      embitcaposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Manipulating you? That seems a little extreme. Do you think that maybe you are reading a lot more into this than was actually meant by the request?

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7. 75

   Hauntyposted 15 years ago

   Liza, your verbosity is outrageous. So if you get any requests you do not want to write about, it's a true miracle.

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8. 80

   DonnaCSmithposted 15 years ago

   I would certainly not feel obligated to write about anything unless I wanted to. Writers are always getting "great ideas" from other people for things to write about.
   
   I tell them to write it themselves since it is their idea!

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9. 63

   Lisa HWposted 15 years ago

   Haunty,
   
   "Liza, your verbosity is outrageous. So if you get any requests you do not want to write about, it's a true miracle."
    
   Maybe it is.  One man's "verbosity" is another's "discussion".  Not all situations can be described in two lines, and I suppose I figure if someone doesn't want to be bothered reading something he can skip it. I didn't know there are any rules about keeping things to a couple of lines.  Saying the same thing in face-to-face discussion would take seconds, so I don't see it as a big deal.
   
   
   embitca, maybe the choice of of the word, "manipulating", wasn't the right choice.  (Then again, if someone saw the wording of the request they may know what I mean.)  I think people are thinking (probably because of the "outrageous verbosity" that I've taken this "issue" more seriously than I really do.
   
   I started this discussion because I mainly wanted to make the point that it would be nice if (in the future) there were a way to graciously decline a request (which can, but isn't always, a compliment) without our e.mail address being revealed.  If anyone saw the profile of the requester or read the request they would probably better understand the situation, and understand that the fact that I wished I could have been more gracious was giving this person a whole lot of "benefit of the doubt".  If the thread was about any marketing of anything other than religion I suspect it may not have brought out (in others and, yes, myself as well) the vitriol it has.

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      Hauntyposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Of course it's not. I said this kind of kiddingly.

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10. 63

    Lisa HWposted 15 years ago

    Haunty, I think what's gone on here (both with your remarks and my own) is a case of that "phenomenon" whereby what we type (into e.mails or other online stuff) loses a lot of the non-verbal signals that help people understand other's motives, tone, level of seriousness, etc.
    
    Oh well.  In any case, I got my answer ("ignore them" and "there's no button to respond without sharing your e.mail")     (Now someone needs to post a thread in "announcements" that says, "If people just ignore your requests it's not because they're being rude but because they don't want to share their e.mail address."     I'm going to sign off this particular thread and pretend it never happened. 

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11. 0

    rethansmithposted 15 years ago

    I would either ignore it, or outsource it if it had decent revenue potential but was beyond my personal knowledge.

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12. 52

    kmackey32posted 15 years ago

    Just say, "Fuck no"

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    1. 63

       Lisa HWposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          That would be one way to deal with it, I guess. (Actually, I might benefit from borrowing that approach in a lot of non-Hub-related requests in life too.)

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