Help! A lunatic is stalking my daughter on facebook.

1. 73

   earnestshubposted 15 years ago

   How can I best stop this. He originally stole her passwords... all of them, then used them to destroy her profile.
   
   He then had any password updates sent to his email. He has now started on other female members of the family. The girls are terrified, I warned him I would go to the Australian federal Police, but my daughter and niece are now so scared for themselves and especially their (collectively) 8 children that they don't want to challenge him. As a dad, granddad and uncle I want to do something. But what? The police told me to go to the Magistrates court and get an injunction. From what I gather from the press these restraining orders do not work to protect victims anyway.

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      Quilligrapherposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Sorry to read about your situation, Ernest.  If I were to have this problem, I would work with Facebook to cancel all accounts and to regain anonymity.  This would not be good publicity for Facebook and they should be very willing to help you work out a solution.
      
      I hope you have a sucessful outcome.
      
      Q.

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2. 81

   RooBeeposted 15 years ago

   So sorry, what a rotten thing!!! Though I (thankfully) don't know from experience, I found this site after reading your post. Looks like it may have some valuable links regarding this type of thing. Seems to be US-based, but maybe will provide some ideas about how best to proceed.
   Best to you in this and I'm sorry that you & your family are having to deal with this jerk.
   
   
   edit: oops, sorry - here's the link:
   http://www.spiesonline.net/cyberstalkers.shtml

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3. 59

   spidergirl364posted 15 years ago

   Oh wow...I hope he dies.  Thats a horrible thing to do.  Maybe get that court thing anyway?  Even if it doesn't work I think you should try everything possible.  Hire a private investigator?

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   relacheposted 15 years ago

   This is Facebook's privacy page for parents about kids.
   
   http://www.facebook.com/help.php?safety

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5. 67

   Philentposted 15 years ago

   This is such a scary thing. I'm so sorry but I don't think I'll be of any help. I just hope that everything will be ok soon.

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6. 57

   Mrvoodooposted 15 years ago

   Sounds bad Earnest, I wish I could offer some advice but I can't, I'm terrible at advice, and I'm particularly terrible at advice in dealing with situations of this magnitude.
   
   Hopefully RooBees link will point you in the right direction, or another hub person knows what to do.
   
   The Dude sounds like a freak.

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7. 69

   blondepoetposted 15 years ago

   What a mongrel I hope he gets everything coming to him. What about closing that account down and acquiring a new email address and opening a new FB account with that email address as well as reporting it to FB as well as the police. I really feel for your daughter, this person has taken it way too far.

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8. 73

   earnestshubposted 15 years ago

   he has now put things back again except he has deleted all my daughters posts.. got this from him on facebook this morning.
   
   I am still awaiting an apology for your rude & arrogant threats....
   One does not throw accusation to anyone without verification...
   Your threats & Yvette's comments leaves me no alternatives...
   Either way... families will be upset & hurt...
   And relationships will be greatly tested...
   Regards, Donald.
   I warned him I would go to police previously and told him to desist.

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   1. 69

      blondepoetposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I would definitely go to the police they will track him very quickly.

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         earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         He seems very confident that he has covered his tracks..

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            blondepoetposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            He may be bluffing.

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               earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               I hope so BP. I just got a call from my daughter telling me to stop doing anything further as it will make him do it more. I feel like doing more alright! I will try the feds again.

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                  blondepoetposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                  I understand where she is coming from but it is like heck what are you meant to do when they won't go away. Either way it is hard.

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                     earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                     It is hard either way, but the biggest problem is the motivation. I can see no reason why he would do such a childish stupid thing!

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      Leta Sposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Bite your tongue, give him his 'apology' written in such a way that it really isn't an apology, , if this is what makes the psycho quit.
      
      If not, do away with the Facebook profiles...  I never did get them, anyway.  I mean, I'm on hubpages with my actual name, but it is a writing site.  Even with that, I've had my share of weird things... Your daughter shouldn't have to do this, but if someone is trying to get in your house, you shut the door and lock it.

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9. 69

   fortunerepposted 15 years ago

   Ernest
   send him my way, I got paint balls guns for that problem. They work too.
   
   dori

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      blondepoetposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Oh yes I remember Dori's paint balls and they are not to be messed with oh boy.

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10. 58

    Pamda Manposted 15 years ago

    Change your cell phone, computer, everything that has your personal things inside, so he can't stalk you anymore. Tell your friends and family that some of your accounts are not yours anymore. Then go to court, wait for the police to find out the guy, sue him, and he will compensate your monetary loss on new computer + phone + psychological compensation as money. You get a new phone and computer for free and you even get money back. (You could plan on moving away for a while.)
    
    Panda Man.

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11. 81

    cindyvineposted 15 years ago

    Now, how the hell did he get your daughter's passwords?  Is it someone she knows?  The same sort of thing happened to my daughter, but with MSN messenger.  Someone (must be one of her schoolfriends) must have seen her password, went onto her account and sent rude messages to all her contacts, some telling other girls she had a lesbian love for them and so on, and changed the password so that my daughter couldn't access her own MSN.  Eventually, she had to just abandon that account, but the person who did it continued on her account from time to time, obviously thinking it was funny.  My daughter was ostracised for quite a while after that, because of comments she supposedly sent people from her MSN, and even though she tried to explain what had happened, people weren't so forgiving.

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    1. 73

       earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Ex boyfriend, very computer literate. We have changed everything about security three times now.

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       blondepoetposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       A hacker on the net once got my Msn password Cindy. I never once had shown anyone as I am so particular about privacy. Sometimes when you download a program from a unreliable source and don't realise it, there can be a keylogger put on your PC, and you don't know it. Then bang all the things you type become visible to the hacker.

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12. 58

    Pamda Manposted 15 years ago

    Ah! My real name is Rick Castle, and now my character has a new story.

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13. 81

    cindyvineposted 15 years ago

    The moral of the story is, don't share your passwords with anyone - not even loved ones!  There might come a day when the loved one becomes the hated one!

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       earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       or at least no longer a loved one...true!

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       blondepoetposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       I think in this case Cindy is right

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          cindyvineposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Don't sound so surprised that I'm actually right! lol

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             blondepoetposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             Haha there is no surprise in my voice Cin honestly, I am just trying to work out what the heck Panda is saying.

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14. 58

    Pamda Manposted 15 years ago

    And it's down to Panda Man to save the day!
    
    Panda Man, Panda Man,
    Does whatever a panda can,
    Eats bamboo, all the time,
    Always off fighting crime,
    Lookout, here comes the Panda Man!
    
    

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15. 81

    cindyvineposted 15 years ago

    Sometimes I think we haven't kept up with technology, and it's developing so fast that there are so many gaps and loopholes for sicko's to take and harass people.

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16. 58

    Pamda Manposted 15 years ago

    Yes! Panda Man can finally save the day!
    
    earnesthub, what motivates them is the victim's reaction. They find it amusing, and if you react more, they will keep on doing it. So either change all your telephone and computers, or forget about him (not recommended).

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17. 73

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    Yes done all that, thanks. Why is there no fear of the police or facebook? By the way the fed police website is down Australia wide it seems.

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    1. 38

       rastrotherposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       sorry earnests but simply because there is no need to be. how much info you think you can find out about me on the internet just based off of rastrother? probably alot of search engine stuff maybe but nothing related to who i possibly could be. the most this guy has to look forward to is facebook shutting down his probably fake madeup account if he has one. it sounds to me like you need to fight fire with fire, and by that i mean turning this over to facebook. let me tell you a little story about people like this guy who stole your daughter's pass word. 90% of these people have little programs on their computers that do nothing but search for passwords, whether its myspace, facebook or twitter these programs can gain access to your isp number and have a field day with your information. this is just my opinion but if it was up to me this is exactly how i would solve this problem, simply. first i would contact facebook and have them immidiatly delete any accounts i have ever created with them, then i would download a program that will keep these types of people from accessing my computers with there program. you can google for a list of these programs but one i use regularly is called peer guardian 2, then after making sure your new program is updated it will not allow any one or anything to access your comp. then i would create me an new face book account and keep the program running as long as i was online. thats how i would solve that problem my friend.
       
                p.s to my knowledge there has yet to be a program invented to get passed the peer guardian program. permitted you update daily

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18. 58

    Pamda Manposted 15 years ago

    And once again, the day is saved, by PANDA MAN... and blondepoet and cindyvine.

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       blondepoetposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       I hope so Panda

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    2. 73

       earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Knowing that my daughter may have allowed access to her computer or password has not solved the problem at this time, but I do appreciate the input.

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19. 68

    Christoph Reillyposted 15 years ago

    We all live in fear of something like this happening. I hope you get this resolved, and that somehow the perpetrator is punished.

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20. 58

    Pamda Manposted 15 years ago

    Panda Man, Panda Man,
    Does whatever a panda can,
    Eats bamboo, all the time,
    Always off, fighting crimes,
    Look out, here comes the Panda Man!
    
    In the middle of the night,
    He comes out, doing right,
    In the middle of the day,
    He comes out, to eat and play!
    
    Panda Man, Panda Man,
    Does whatever a panda can,
    Eats bamboo, all the time,
    Always off, fighting crimes,
    Look out, here comes the Panda Man!
    Here comes the Panda Man,
    Here comes the Panda MAN!!!
    
    Click here for more Panda Man music brought to you by Propapanda Music.

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21. 81

    cindyvineposted 15 years ago

    I think Pandaman has been smoking some of those bamboo shoots

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       blondepoetposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Haha Cin I want some of what he has got.

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22. 58

    Pamda Manposted 15 years ago

    Lol. I was trying to make some music.

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23. 81

    cindyvineposted 15 years ago

    think I might look at that peer Guardian as well.

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24. 73

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    Thank you for that rastrother, I will let my daughter know.

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25. 58

    Pamda Manposted 15 years ago

    Oh, download that anti virus software from nod321.com. It's free and it helped me a lot.

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    1. 73

       earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks Panda man, I will take a look at her security when I visit on the weekend.

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26. 58

    Pamda Manposted 15 years ago

    Hey earnest, have you got any good music? Instrumental soundtracks.

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    1. 73

       earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       No, I have kids for that!
       I play acoustic guitar though.

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27. 58

    Pamda Manposted 15 years ago

    Just music without any lyrics. 'Cause in my Top Ten category I have a new hub on instrumental soundtracks.

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28. 0

    wordscribe41posted 15 years ago

    So sorry for your troubles, Earnesthub.  I've heard similar stories about MySpace...  What a troubling story, I hope you catch the lunatic.  Can't imagine he's THAT good at covering his tracks.  Keep us posted.  I know I'd blow my top as a parent.  I get mad when my kids feelings get hurt...

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       earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Thank you for your understanding. She has 5 children to think of too of course.I will show constraint, but there must be a way.

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29. 0

    Ghost32posted 15 years ago

    Earnest, I read about a third of the posts and may miss something but feel compelled to share the following based on my former experience as a social worker and group home houseparent dealing with all sorts of  people:
    
    1.  If he's an ex-boyfriend doing this (as you stated), it can be a deadly situation.  I've seen it personally, not just on the Law and Order type TV shows.  Consider him a potential killer because this pattern does sometimes escalate to exactly that.  Not always by a long shot, but one is too many. 
    
    2.  Your daughters are right to be terrified but WRONG to ask you to back off.  Appeasement with these animals does not EVER work.  Give 'em an inch, they'll take your house.  Please DO consider letting the police know the situation.  I'm not a big fan of our boys in blue here in the U.S., but it's still a step that needs to be taken.
    
    3.  This guy will ONLY  back off from a threat he sees as coming from a superior force--as he has partially done already in putting the accounts back up, albeit in damaged form. 
    
    4.  If your daughters can possibly do so, PLEASE see if you can  persuade them to set up a buddy system so that they are NEVER ALONE, and I mean this to apply in the home and out in public, both.  This guy clearly knows he scares the whooptedoo out of your girls (and their kids), and he CRAVES that.  He FEEDS on that. 
    
    5.  Consider him capable of literally anything.  He may have limits, but the folks like him that dive into rage don't always find bottom until the worst possible outcome has happened. 
    
    6.  IF YOUR DAUGHTER WHO WAS HIS BOYFRIEND HAS A NEW BOYFRIEND, HE SHOULD BE WARNED TO WATCH HIS BACK.  Example: (I hate to describe this but feel you need to know): When I was a group home houseparent in Wyoming in 1979-80, one of our residents had a part time job babysitting a young mother some 23 years of age.  The Mom had an old, threatening boyfriend, and a new, super boyfriend.
    
    One day in broad daylight on the streets of Gillette, Wyoming, the ex walked up to the car driven by the new boyfriend.  The young mother was in the passenger's seat.  Without any warning whatsoever, this creature shot the good guy behind the left ear with a .22 pistol.  End of life for that man, ugly dude's in prison for life, Mom has to live with the memory for life.
    
    7.  If you EVER want to kick this around in detail, feel free to email me via HP and we can set up back-and-forth regular email from there.  Our money is short and we're going to be losing our final (cell) phones shortly, but the email will always be available.
    
    We'll be praying for you and your family.

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30. 73

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    Thanks for your concern Ghost32, I appreciate you taking the time. You have made some very good points which I am covering now as well as I can. I will try the Feds again tomorrow. As you have recognized this is no small detail. There seems to be real malice there.
    I will consider carefully all that you have said and again, thanks for being real about this.All my best to you and your loved ones. I am not religious but I can say "May the power be with you" The source of the power is of course yours to determine, but know I wish you well.

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