I Am Declaring A Jihad!!!!!!!!!

1. 62

   Harvey Stelmanposted 14 years ago

   Infidels tell me to do this, it is now my time. I will NEVER eat beets, asparagus, cauliflour and many more veges. With all that is said by leading authorities; I shalldestroy them in the "mother of all battles!"

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      AEvansposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I love veggies they are all good for you and are great for the colon and some of these can aide in slowing down or stopping diseases. Eat your veggies they are good for you!

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         Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         

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            Harvey Stelmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Cag,
            
            Got that right!

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         Harvey Stelmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         AE,
         
         When my wife makes beets I put tall books inbetween us, to block the vision. These colorful guys have tried to kill me. Did you know they have formed a gang, be careful.

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            AEvansposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            You make me laugh , those colorful guys are necessary eat your beets! lololo

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         Ghost32posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         A heretic on the thread!  Evil veggie lovin' conservative pumpkin pie makin' disciple to the Dark One!  Attack!  Attack!

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            Harvey Stelmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Let our Armies meet. I bring Bulls, Elephants,Lions, Tibers and more.

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      nyliramposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      This sort of thing is crazy to even say. Do you fully realise what the implications of that remark can be. People with bad literacy skills could see this and wire themselves up. lol. In short your post could start WW3

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         Harvey Stelmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Do you live in a bomb shelter?

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   Rochelle Frankposted 14 years ago

   I think you are asking for trouble. Do you know how many militant vegetarians are out there?

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      Harvey Stelmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Rochelle,
      
      Do I care! I don't tell them what to do.

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   Ivorwenposted 14 years ago

   You poor thing.  I feel sorry for you.  Evidently no on has taught you the value of veggies, and their proper preparation. 

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      Harvey Stelmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Ivor,
      
      My wife has a Masters in Clinical Neutrition.

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   docrehabposted 14 years ago

   LOL

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      Harvey Stelmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Doc,
      
      Is that laughing out loud or lots of luck?

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   ncmonroe1981posted 14 years ago

   You just haven't met the "right" veggies. We can take care of that.

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      Harvey Stelmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      nc,
      
      I have met them, and I am disgusted. Why bite a mushroom, it will push back.

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         lyricsingrayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         unless of course they are MAGIC

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            Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this

            oh man...those REALLY push back....er..so ive heard

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               lyricsingrayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               ha

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                  Harvey Stelmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  lyric,
                  
                  Why do they call them "mush."

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               Harvey Stelmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Might as well bite an underinflated tire.

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   Madame Xposted 14 years ago

   Return to the fold, and we will kill the fatted zucchini

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      Harvey Stelmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      X,
      
      Kill-Kill-Kill the Zuchs!

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         Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         you just never had it prepared properly, stuffed with sausage, cheese, and smothered in homemade spaghetti sauce. mmmm

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         earnestshubposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Nuke the Zuchs! Nuke the zuchs!  Nuke the zuchs!!!

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      cosetteposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      haha!!

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   earnestshubposted 14 years ago

   I have been fattening a pumpkin for some time now, should I just keep it as a pet?
   worried reader.

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      Harvey Stelmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Earnie,
      
      A pet; ha! Will that Orange thing ever show you love? That is the meaning of Halloween; stab them, cut them, kill them . I am getting a little carried away; aren't I?

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   mikelongposted 14 years ago

   Jihad translates more closely to "struggle."
   
   I don't know where you live Mr. Stelman, but I don't know how difficult your struggle will be. In the suburban enclave I live in one really has to go out of his/her way to eat vegetables...
   
   Just order the basic hamburger or cheeseburger....avoid the lettuce, onion, and tomato slices.

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      Harvey Stelmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Mike,
      
      Some of these I must eat. If not the veggies will say I am a racist!

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9. 59

   Frugal Fannyposted 14 years ago

   "Carrot juice is murder"
   
   -The Arrogant Worms

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10. 59

    Frugal Fannyposted 14 years ago

    The Arrogant Worms is a comedy band, for those who may be wondering.

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11. 81

    earnestshubposted 14 years ago

    I saw "The attack of the killer tomatoes" once! I have been fairly unkind to tomatoes since.
    It starred the late Steve McQueen.

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       Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       forgot all about that....good movie!!! i didnt know mcqueen died.

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    lyricsingrayposted 14 years ago

    let's see - I hate veggies too,

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    Justine76posted 14 years ago

    i declared jihad on walmart once

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       earnestshubposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I wish we had a Walmart so I could do the same.

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          Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this

          you dont know what your saying!!!!!!! 

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             earnestshubposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             No really. It sounds like a good idea. I have shopped there!

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                Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this

                we'll declare holy war together then, ending the tyranny of unstocked shelves and slack jawed pimply teenagers ignoring me...er..people when they ask what the price is!!!!! an end to hours in line at the checkout and hannah montanna underwear!!

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                   Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                   See, I told you were funny.

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                   earnestshubposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                   AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH! Hannah Montana! AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!

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                      Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this

                      

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                   Harvey Stelmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                   Just,
                   
                   Lots of XXXL people there. Those veggies ad up.

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    earnestshubposted 14 years ago

    I just discovered........ I love war mongering!!!!!

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       Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       

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       Harvey Stelmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Earnie, War can be a lot of fun, if know one gets hurt. Didn't you play with soldiers when little? In my day we had earthquakes.

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    Justine76posted 14 years ago

    just leave the potatoes ok? need them for vodka!

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       Harvey Stelmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Just,
       
       That's what you tell people when they give crap. I eat potatoes, corn and anything else you eat.

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       Rochelle Frankposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Potatoes aren't vegetables. haven't you heard of Mr and Mrs Potato Head?

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    Ghost32posted 14 years ago

    I volunteer to go out in a blaze of glory.  Douse myself in gasoline, grab a lighter, and not-so-spontaneously combust in a broccoli patch during the dry season.

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       Harvey Stelmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Ghost,
       
       You may start a trend.

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    Frugal Fannyposted 14 years ago

    Has anyone ever read the kids' book, Bunnicula?  Or it's sequel, The Celery Stalks at Midnight? 
    
    It puts veggies (and cute little vampire bunnies) in a whole new light, I tell ya!
    
    lol

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       Harvey Stelmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Frugal,
       
       Save the BABY quickly, they're coming your way.

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          Frugal Fannyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          lol
          
          I have some in my fridge that I'm keeping a wary eye on.

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             Harvey Stelmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             Frugal,
             
             I will pray for you!

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    Bovine Currencyposted 14 years ago

    Steak

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       Madame Xposted 14 years agoin reply to this

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          Harvey Stelmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          X,
          
          Get up quickly, stampede!!!!!!!!!!!!

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       Harvey Stelmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Ohhh yeah!!!!!!!!

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    manlypoetrymanposted 14 years ago

    Harvey...expect the black helicopters over your house at any minute!
    
    "They" WILL make you eat your veggies..."They" have their ways...

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    SoftCornHippoposted 14 years ago

    Maybe if you just knew about some of the vegies and how they interrelate you wouldn't be so against the poor things!  They have their own problems, you know! The following hub may help yu:
    
    http://hubpages.com/hub/Sexy-Tomatoes

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    ddsurfscaposted 14 years ago

    Ill see your Jihad and raise you a war

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    Attaniposted 14 years ago

    Is there a veggie heaven?

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