Constructive critism needed please.

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  1. nasus loops profile image70
    nasus loopsposted 8 years ago

    I have had this hub running for a while now and although traffic is ok I wonder if there is anything else I could do to improve it.  My Adsense income from this hub is just 0.01 since it started.  All comments welcome.

    1. nasus loops profile image70
      nasus loopsposted 8 years agoin reply to this
      1. Hawkeye55 profile image60
        Hawkeye55posted 8 years agoin reply to this

        Love the avatar. Kangaroos are so cute.

        While I can't help with your traffic & income issues (I'm new to HubPages) I did notice some errors in grammer, spelling, etc.

        While this doesn't affect your traffic (as far as I know), it's my belief that it can lower the reader's confidence in your posting.

        I'd be glad to give you specifics.  If you're interested, let me know.

        However, I found the content interesting and seemingly well researched.

        Hope this info helps.

        Have a great blogging career!

        1. nasus loops profile image70
          nasus loopsposted 8 years agoin reply to this

          Thanks Hawkey. I would very much like to know the area I could improve on, unfortunately all areas of english language were not my strong points at school.  Literature was the area I excelled in.

    2. Cagsil profile image83
      Cagsilposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Welcome to HubPages.

      I visited your Hub, at least the link you provided and found your hub to be a little bit short?

      On another note- it also appears that you've written the Hub within ONE text capsule. I would recommend more than one capsule.

      Otherwise, it seems fine.

      1. nasus loops profile image70
        nasus loopsposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        Thanks for the comment Cagsil.  On reviewing my hub I note that it is 843words.  Should I write longer hubs?

    3. gnrao profile image55
      gnraoposted 8 years agoin reply to this like it very much.It's very easy to write and post.It is not the money that is the article through which you can come to know many peoples/bloggers minds and their attitude towards life. I am very happy to come across My articles are based on many things of which i thought will be helpful to many young and especially the children and their parents.Life has been for me a continuos learning process.I thank all the hubbers and members of hubpages.comI sincerely thank everyone who has commented on my articles.If I have been of help to any one I have got my reward.
      we can write and go on writing on subjects we know and which can exchange opinions and knowledge.

      1. nasus loops profile image70
        nasus loopsposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        Don't get me wrong gnrao I have really started to enjoy writing, but I would enjoy it more if I knew that people were viewing and enjoying my work and if I was getting a little for my time doing it.  I am having to do this around my current part time job and family life so I don't have much time to spare.

      2. Cagsil profile image83
        Cagsilposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        But, does this have to do with this particular topic? You're not helping the situation with your post. I suggest if you want to "THANK" the community, then open a thread of your own and greet them, then say thank you to them all, in one shot.

        Just a thought.

        @Nasus loops,  if you're article has over 800 words, then I am of the understanding you will be fine. smile

  2. Ron Montgomery profile image59
    Ron Montgomeryposted 8 years ago
    1. nasus loops profile image70
      nasus loopsposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Ron, but unfortunately I am unable to find the actually hub so not much help to me.

  3. profile image0
    Audreveaposted 8 years ago

    I would suggest using the pre-formatted bullets rather than the dash b/c they will all line up for you & indent for added readability.

    Other than that, really good! I am now a subscriber (aka follower, aka stalker).

    Are you truly qualified to carry a kangaroo / wallaby avatar? Just checking smile

    1. nasus loops profile image70
      nasus loopsposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for the comments. Kangaroo pic was taken whilst on a holiday and just thought it would be a nice neutral non offensive (hopefully) avatar to all people.

      1. profile image0
        Audreveaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        I was just kidding smile

        It's a lovely avatar

  4. Eric Jupiter profile image52
    Eric Jupiterposted 8 years ago

    Good day my fellow hubbers. I'm new to freelance writing. I was wondering, if some of you could check out my hub and give me your honest opinion. I have thick skin, so I can take constructive criticism.

  5. marcel285 profile image65
    marcel285posted 8 years ago

    I would use the word, baby, as a key word.

    1. nasus loops profile image70
      nasus loopsposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Marcel.  I am now starting to understand that Keywords matter.  Thanks for the tip on the use of the word baby.

  6. Marisa Wright profile image96
    Marisa Wrightposted 8 years ago

    Welcome Nasus! 

    My feedback:

    Move the photo down so it's next to your second text capsule.  The top right-hand corner is the prime position for ads.  If you're signed up for Adsense, leave it for that (check to make sure an ad appears there in your Preview - if it doesn't, you need to make your first text capsule a bit longer).   If you're not signed up for Adsense, you could put an Amazon capsule there.

    There are many places where you should start a new sentence but you use a comma instead. There are also a couple of places where the English sounds a little unnatural. It may help to read your Hub out loud:  the unnatural phrases will be more obvious to you.  Also, remember that a comma is only a brief pause whereas the end of a sentence is a longer one - see if that helps. 

    It would probably help to run your text through a grammar checker as well as a spell checker before you turn it into a Hub.  I'm not a fan of grammar checkers myself, because they can result in very pedestrian sentence structures - but if you take them with a big pinch of salt, and use them mainly to highlight major problems (like where to start a new sentence), they can be helpful.

    1. nasus loops profile image70
      nasus loopsposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for the tips Marisa.  I will take on board what you have said and try to put them into practice.  Here goes.


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