I'd like feedback on my article: Escaping the Darkness - Addiction Awareness

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  1. Paul Smit One profile image60
    Paul Smit Oneposted 5 months ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article Escaping the Darkness - Addiction Awareness. What can I do to improve? Thanks!

  2. AliciaC profile image98
    AliciaCposted 5 months ago

    Hi, Paul. I think one problem starts with the first word in the text. For someone who's never heard of you and doesn't know about your background, the identity of "We" is puzzling. I think you need to write an introduction to set the scene.

    I did understand what "We" represents eventually. It's an interesting concept. I don't know what HP's opinion is about an article of this type, but I think an introduction might be helpful.

    I think you also need to remove the excessive use of italics because they affect the flow of the article.

    1. Paul Smit One profile image60
      Paul Smit Oneposted 5 months agoin reply to this

      Thank you for the feedback and yes that makes sense.

      The reason I use the italics is because those words are important to fully understand a difficult concept. I did use caps originally yet they asked me to remove the caps and so I replaced them with the italics.  Do you think perhaps bold would be better or do you recommend leaving as normal text.

      One of the other issues is that  they say there is a link on the writing, yet there is no link. Could the (smile perhaps be what they are referring to as a link.

      Again thank you for the feedback.
      Kindest regards Paul

      1. Paul Smit One profile image60
        Paul Smit Oneposted 5 months agoin reply to this

        The smiley face was meant to be an equals sign.
        Regards paul

        1. AliciaC profile image98
          AliciaCposted 5 months agoin reply to this

          Hi again, Paul. I don't see any link in the article, not even under the photo. One thing I did see which I didn't notice before is the "Written by Paul Smit" comment at the end. This seems unnecessary because it's just above the copyright symbol with your name and in addition your name is written at the top of the article.

          I understand that the italicized words are important, but I think you should try removing all of the italics to see if the article passes QAP.

          1. Paul Smit One profile image60
            Paul Smit Oneposted 5 months agoin reply to this

            Will do thank you.

  3. theraggededge profile image100
    theraggededgeposted 5 months ago

    Hi Paul,

    One of the problems is that you have it in the wrong category - Relationships. It should be under Religion and Philosophy. You can't put it under medical/psych advice, because it wouldn't be accepted.

    It looks as if you are chaneling - therefore you should explain that very clearly in the introduction. Many people aren't familiar with that kind of message or the way it is delivered.

    Your article is a little short; aim for around 1000 words.

    Don't italicise unless you are quoting - it's up to the reader to place their own emphasis on the words. Watch out for passages where you cross the line from inspiring to bossy, 'like wot I just did' smile

    You need to know that this kind of article/writing probably won't do very well on HubPages.  It might be better if you build your own site to attract followers. If you have a site already, add it to your profile. There is a box there for it.

    In the bio, it should be 'insights' not 'incites'.

    The artwork must be legal-to-use (check the license) and cited (source added).

    You have some similar articles and the same things apply to those.

    Hope that helps.

    1. Paul Smit One profile image60
      Paul Smit Oneposted 5 months agoin reply to this

      Thank you so much for the feedback, all you mentioned was very helpful.

      Kindest regards Paul

 
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