I'd like feedback on my article: Central Park Horse Carriage Rides Are Not...

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   brutalfantasyposted 6 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
   Here is my article: Central Park Horse Carriage Rides Are Not Ethical (must be signed in to view)

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   AliciaCposted 6 years ago

   Hi. Though I personally think your article is about a worthy cause, it's way too short to be published on HubPages. Instead of telling people that if they want to read more about the issue they should visit the articles that you list, your article should be giving readers more information.
   
   In addition, the photo is watermarked with a copyright symbol and someone else's name. It's not a good idea to place a link so near to the start of the article, either. I'm not sure that the link and the first paragraph will be accepted wherever they're placed, but I'm almost certain about the other factors that I describe.

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   brutalfantasyposted 6 years ago

   Thank you! I appreciate the feedback.

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   Rupert Taylorposted 6 years ago

   Agree with Alicia. In addition, subheads should be in APA title case and you need to break up long paragraphs into shorter ones. It make for easier reading.
   
   You should also try to find an image of NY carriages. I just had a quick look and their are lots of Creative Commons pix.
   
   I suggest spending some time at the Learning Center to help you create the kind of articles that HubPages wants. https://hubpageshelp.com/

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   psycheskinnerposted 6 years ago

   This is also an area of active litigation, so I suggest not making a blanket statement that the horses are not taken care of adequately, and say something more specific such as that you think horses cannot be cared for properly in stables without access to pasture--or something else more specific that will not sound like an accusation or breaking the law.

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   theraggededgeposted 6 years ago

   I'm afraid you display complete lack of knowledge regarding horse care. Most horses are bred by people with a specific job in mind. Let me give you an example.
   
   Where I live in South Wales, it was common practice to use pit ponies to work underground in the coal mines. They lived underground all year round, except for two weeks when they had a holiday. The miners in charge of the ponies were fiercely proud of their small workers and made sure they were looked after as well as any high bred racehorse. They were regularly checked by a vet and their stables inspected. Eventually, of course, machinery took over and the pit ponies retired.
   
   Horses can live perfectly well in stables as long as they are exercised and fed the correct food. Your article is full of sweeping generalisations that are easily countered. It is written from an emotional perspective, rather than a factual one.
   
   A draft horse can pull a lot more than 200lbs. A moving carriage on decent tires will not be a problem to most horses.
   
   I can't comment on the situation with the Central Park horses because I don't know anything about it. I'm pretty sure that they are regularly inspected and their accommodation checked by the relevant authority.
   
   And you do know that if your petition succeeds you are, in effect, condemning all those horses to certain death?
   
   "The American Veterinary Medical Association, the American Association of Equine Practitioners and the New York State Veterinary Medical Society all have endorsed the NYC carriage industry.
   
   The NYSVMS has has been committed to ensuring the humane treatment of all animals throughout New York State for 125 years, and writes that “Opponents of horse-drawn carriages are also misinformed about the conditions in the carriage industry, frequently claiming that the horses are forced to live and work under inhumane conditions. A careful examination of the lives of these animals reveals the opposite. These horses, many of which are rescue animals themselves, live and work under the careful scrutiny of the veterinary profession, which follows stringent standards designed to ensure the animal’s welfare is of paramount importance.”
   
   Carriage horses are humanely retired after working in New York City. Retiring carriage horses are highly sought after as family horses."
   
   http://carriageon.com/basics/

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      RTalloniposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for the trouble you went to in posting these facts.

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      DrMark1961posted 6 years agoin reply to this

      You said this a lot more eloquently than I could have. I was so angered by reading an ignorant city dweller complaining that "horses were not meant to be ridden" that I just ignored this last night and turned my computer off.
      Those of us that work with horses every day, serve them, clean them, and make sure that they stay healthy, recognize this article for that which we remove from the stables each morning.

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         brutalfantasyposted 6 years agoin reply to this

         I am not stating no one takes care of their horses adequately, I am stating the horse carriage rides are not healthy for the horses. I researched this topic before writing about it. We are are all entitled to have our own opinions. It's great to hear you take care of your horses so well. I have attached some links if you want to read more about the concerns I have for the well being of the horses.
         
         http://www.nydailynews.com/news/electio … -1.1499665
         
         https://www.peta.org/issues/animals-in- … carriages/
         
         https://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/08/nyre … vival.html
         
         http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/nyc … -1.3331195

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   psycheskinnerposted 6 years ago

   I also don't agree at all with the point of view but I think there is a different in helping someone write a good hub on a topic, and arguing with what it expresses.  There are many good informative articles written from the animal rights point of view that animals should not be used for human purposes, and people who want to read them.

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      DrMark1961posted 6 years agoin reply to this

      You are correct, however I would not want to spend any time making this article any better since from the opening it is so offensive. All of us make that choice.

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   theraggededgeposted 6 years ago

   Then you should present both sides of the debate. For example, this text below came from one of your links. Doesn't really support your argument, but shows possible motives behind the campaign:
   
   
   
   You should read that whole NY Times article thoroughly. It states clearly that if the campaign succeeds, all 216 horses would go to slaughter. Is that a good outcome for you?

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      brutalfantasyposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Of course that does not sound like a good outcome. The horses should be sent to a rescue.

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         theraggededgeposted 6 years agoin reply to this

         Okay, so have a think. You want to write a decent article that gets featured and gets the message across that there are two sides to this. Why not write it up as a well-researched piece of journalism? Give all the pros and cons. Have you been to see the horses at work? If not, then you should. Form your own opinions instead of repeating those of other people.
         
         Find out who benefits if the carriage thing gets shut down. Find out if it's really true if the horses are mistreated.  Keep in mind that accidents happen all the time, even to horses in the wild. Imagine a horse dropping its foot into a rabbit hole, breaking its leg and lying helpless. No one to take care of it. Happens all the time.
         
         Research all angles.

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