Feedback required to clear the QAP

1. 51

   Rahma Khanposted 4 months ago

   Hello Hubbers,
   
   Link to the article: https://hubpages.com/technology/Mobile- … f-Business
   
   Please critically read my article and advise where it is lacking to clear the QAP. The moderator has suggested me to add more content, which I have added now.
   
   Thanks in advance!

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   1. 98

      TIMETRAVELER2posted 4 months agoin reply to this

      The first thing I would do is change your bio to match the article about which you are writing.  Stating your background has nothing to do with your topic.  You should state your experience or training in the area of business, which is what you are discussing.
      
      Also, I found a number of areas where you have misused the English Language.  Clearly, English is not your first language, although for the most part you write well.  You need to check your sentence structure, especially in areas where you leave words out that should be present.
      
      Finally, you have far too much repetition.  You have lengthened your article, but it is clear that you filled it with "fluff" rather than meaningful content. 
      
      If you want this hub to pass QAP, you'll have to make your content more conciise and clear.  Length only works when it adds to the concept instead of repeating it.

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2. 36

   Venkatachari Mposted 4 months ago

   Your starting two paragraphs are not good. You can club both under one sub-title, say, "the importance and significance of mobility in business", something like that.
   
   Remove the Callout capsules- the first one and the second one- which are of no use at all.
   
   I hope all the other content is okay. You may give a re-read to the entire thing to confirm and satisfy yourself.

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3. 36

   Venkatachari Mposted 4 months ago

   I forgot to mention. The third image is of low resolution which is not acceptable. Replace it with a larger one or remove it completely.

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   1. 51

      Rahma Khanposted 4 months agoin reply to this

      thank you for your suggestions. I have made all the mentioned changes

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4. 85

   firstcookbookladyposted 4 months ago

   You will need to proof read. There are a few doubles up of a few words here and there. You'll find them. This they... etc.

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