Feedback required to clear the QAP

1. 35

   Rahma Khanposted 7 years ago

   Hello Hubbers,
   
   Kindly review my hub and provide feedback to clear QAP.
   
   Link to hub: https://hubpages.com/technology/The-use … in-Warfare

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   1. 81

      theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Hi there,
      
      I think the problem lies in the fact there are a lot of words saying not very much. Your article could be reduced to a single paragraph and still get the point across that AI in warfare is unreliable. Some sentences are very long, vague and convoluted. More words doesn't equal better writing.
      
      There are several instances of the misuse of words, for example, it's 'incorporation', not 'corporation'. And 'revolutionized' or 'changed' would be better than 'entirely amended'. 'Highly intrigued'... I'm not sure what you are trying to say there.
      
      Don't use long words where a short one would work better.
      
      Run your text through the Hemingway app to fix passive voice. Not all passive voice is bad, but there is a lot of it in your article.
      
      I'd suggest breaking up the text into shorter and clearer paragraphs. Put your subtitles into title case. Decide who you are writing this for; who is the ideal reader for this piece? Then write a more in-depth, but less wordy version of the article. Ask yourself what are you trying to achieve? What salient points do you want to make? You need actual examples of AI being deployed successfully and unsuccessfully. Examples where things have gone horribly wrong. You say the technology can't be trusted, but you don't tell us why and give concrete examples.
      
      Make use of bullet points to highlight important information and to list pros and cons.
      
      Start with an introduction that tells the reader what the article is about and why it is important. A good article is effectively answering a question. In this case, what is good and/or bad about using AI in warfare?
      
      Good luck.

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      1. 35

         Rahma Khanposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you for your detailed feedback. I am surely going work on my hub as per your guidelines.
         
         Hope to get it published this time.

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