I'd like feedback on my article: Remembering My Father

1. 44

   ARUN KANTIposted 6 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article Remembering My Father. What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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2. 93

   aesta1posted 6 years ago

   Hi Arun. Your article is interesting and just a few tweaks will make this an interesting hub. First, the Amazon capsules, though related to the article, must have a description of how the product was useful to you or your own particular experience of it. You have several links to your HP account which might be looked at as too promotional. These two alone will not stop your article going through the QAP.
   
   It would be better to divide long paragraphs for easier reading. Good luck.

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3. 83

   Venkatachari Mposted 6 years ago

   Just gone through your article, Arun. I realized that it is in the old format.
   
   You need to change the photos to full width. They should cover the entire width of the page to match and be in line with your content.
   
   Remove the link to your mother's article in the middle of the content. You can show it also at the bottom where you mentioned some other articles. Remove that link at the bottom to your profile also. It is already there against your photo at the top below author's profile.
   
   The Amazon capsules are ambiguous. Do they relate to your article in any context? Not from your point of view. They should be of some benefit to the reader. Then only you can keep them. It is better to remove them. Nobody will be going to click them.
   
   Lastly, arrange the content with suitable sub-headings in separate capsules and check the grammar mistakes also.
   
   Your introductory paragraph should be changed to bring the topic into action. The first lines do not connect with your title. You should explain the point clearly that you are discussing about this particular subject. The Title should match your first few lines to give the impact straightly.

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4. 95

   Gregory DeVictorposted 6 years ago

   I agree with the previous comment about the length of your paragraphs. Just to reiterate, several of your paragraphs are much too long and need to be broken into smaller components. Long paragraphs can compromise a reader’s attention span.
   
   Please remove the boldface from the sentence near the bottom of your article. HubPages does not like the excessive use of bold characters.
   
   As Venkatachari also told you, HubPages prefers images that are full width. I see that some of the images near the beginning of your article violate this rule. Is there something that you can do with these images to make them full width?
   
   You wrote:
   
   ”Sir, believe me, I have the highest regard for you and it is only the handiwork of a few of my adversaries who have spread such a malicious rumor only to tarnish my image in the town and as soon as my father has heard the news he has advised me to see you forthwith and make amends.
   
   Please break this sentence into smaller components because it is much too long. The same applies to the following two sentences as well:
   
   “Last but not the least although the worthy teacher and the physician had died long back and the student was an important figure of the town before his demise he would fondly remember those days when he had gone astray and later retraced the steps shown by his accomplished father and his favorite teacher.”
   
   “So when the news spread like wildfire that he would be punished by one examinee, incidentally a final year student of the college who had sufficient political and financial clout with huge followers in the town, that everyone was shocked and anxious for his safety.”

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   1. 95

      Gregory DeVictorposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Venkatachari, I did not initially  see your post. My sincere apologies.

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         Venkatachari Mposted 6 years agoin reply to this

         No regrets, Gregory. It's okay that you explained it very well. I simply mentioned to check the grammar. But you made it more clear. Thanks for investing so much time to help Arun Kanti.

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         1. 95

            Gregory DeVictorposted 6 years agoin reply to this

            Thanks for your kind words Venkatachari. LOL, this reminds me of the days when I taught college freshmen Rhetoric & Comp.

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               Venkatachari Mposted 6 years agoin reply to this

               That's well and good. It requires much patience and a cool mind. These are very good virtues that you possess which is evident from your advice provided here.

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5. 95

   Gregory DeVictorposted 6 years ago

   You wrote:
   
   “Unlike the present day coaching practices he would sit with any student any time to help him or her in studies without charging any money.”
   
   Please insert a comma between the words “practices” and “he.”
   
   You wrote:
   
   “Despite his very busy academic and non academic schedules he would never think twice before deciding to go to a hospital to see ailing students.”
   
   Please insert a comma between “schedules” and “he.”

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   1. 95

      Gregory DeVictorposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      You wrote:
      
      "But it gives me the rare opportunity to occasionally look back to the fifties only to lament how those happy days forging excellent relations between the teacher and the taught or even his parents have gradually become a thing of the past.. "
      
      You only need one period.

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6. 44

   ARUN KANTIposted 6 years ago

   Thank you very much for your advice. I shall definitely keep in mind the feedback.

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7. 95

   Marketing Meritposted 6 years ago

   Hi Arun.
   There are a number of grammatical errors which need correcting. Try using a free online tool such as Grammarly.
   You have an anchor text link to HubPages, under the word money, which should be removed.
   Similarly, the links to your other hubs at the end of your article should be removed, plus the link to the sub domain which no longer exists.
   Hope this helps.

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