I'd like feedback on my article: Glow with Aloe :)

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  1. luvskinurin profile image60
    luvskinurinposted 22 months ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article Glow with Aloe smile (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

    1. Gregory DeVictor profile image96
      Gregory DeVictorposted 22 months agoin reply to this

      For starters, remove the two punctuation markers after your title.

      Also, you must insert a space between sentences. I saw this issue numerous times in your article.

      You wrote:

      “Skin care isn't a leisurely affair !!”

      Remove the space after the word affair.

      Remove the second exclamation mark.

      If this is a capsule heading, remember to capitalize all of the words except for definite and indefinite articles, conjunctions, and prepositions.

      You wrote:

      “store brought products”

      I think that you wanted to say bought instead of brought.

      In addition, “store-bought” must be hyphenated because it is an adjective that modifies “products.”

      I could go on and on, but recommend the following:

      You have lots of grammar errors and I suggest that you use an online grammar checker such as  Grammarly.

      Many of your sentences are short and choppy while others are plain run-on. You need to edit all of these sentences.

      Remove the italex from some of your words.

      Use words for numbers 1-9 inclusive (one, two, etc.) and numerals for numbers 10 and above.

      I haven’t covered everything, but consider this a start.

      1. luvskinurin profile image60
        luvskinurinposted 22 months agoin reply to this

        Hi Gregory DeVictor,
                 Thank you so much for mentoring in correcting the mistakes.Have done the modifications mentioned.Kindly guide me thru the next step in improving it more.please let me know further edits.
        Thanks & Regards,
        Devika

  2. luvskinurin profile image60
    luvskinurinposted 22 months ago

    Hi Gregory DeVictor,
             Thank you so much for mentoring in correcting the mistakes.Have done the modifications mentioned.Kindly guide me thru the next step in improving it more.
    Thanks & Regards,
    Devika

  3. Gregory DeVictor profile image96
    Gregory DeVictorposted 22 months ago

    Hello Devika,

    It's getting late in the day here but I will get back to you tomorrow about your hub.

  4. Gregory DeVictor profile image96
    Gregory DeVictorposted 21 months ago

    Hello Devika:

    Remove the period at the end of your title.

    I believe that your title will not attract the attention of the search engines. You must make it more compelling. What about “How to Glow with Aloe Vera.”

    Remember to insert a space between your sentences.

    Referencing your capsule heading “Skin Care Surely Not a Leisurely Affair!”

    You might want to insert the word “is” between the words “care” and “surely.”

    You wrote:

    “We all can vouch for natural remedies which help us in long run.A little effort to take care of our skin makes us feel better and accomplished.A bonus is natural remedies have no side effects.”

    Remove the short, choppy sentences and combine the three sentences into two.

    You wrote:

    “Dust, pollution, and dirt snatching away the freshness of skin.”

    Could be changed to:

    Are dust, pollution, and dirt snatching away the freshness of your skin?

    You wrote:

    “All night creams/BB /CC/DD creams seem to hurt pocket without making skin happy?”

    This sentence doesn’t make any sense. I really don’t know what you are trying to say.

    You wrote:

    “Spending huge amounts on store-bought products and their consistent use don't show expected results?”

    This sentence could be changed to:

    Are you spending huge amounts of money on store-bought products that are not showing the results you expected?

    You wrote:

    “Falling short of time to look after your skin in a busy life?”
    This sentence could be changed to:

    Are you falling short of time to look after your skin because of a busy life?

    Good luck.

  5. Gregory DeVictor profile image96
    Gregory DeVictorposted 21 months ago

    One final comment: To enable you to attain better writing skills, I strongly suggest that you read and reread and reread and reread various articles that are published on the HP site. I also recommend that you go to “HubPages Style Guide and Helpful Writing Tips” to learn more about how to properly author a hub. You can access this information at:

    https://hubpageshelp.com/standards/Lear … iting-Tips

 
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