Feedback on an article

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  1. Marilyn Lane profile image84
    Marilyn Laneposted 15 months ago

    Hey everyone!
    I'd really appreciate some feedback on my article: https://hubpages.com/food/How-to-tell-i … s-gone-bad
    I'm trying to improve it so that it could potentially be featured but I'd appreciate some constructive criticism on how I could improve it.
    Thanks!

    1. Mek Kamongmenan profile image91
      Mek Kamongmenanposted 15 months agoin reply to this

      Your topic should be "Testing whether or not a Kiwi fruit for human consumption" . This is my contribution towards your article.

      1. theraggededge profile image98
        theraggededgeposted 15 months agoin reply to this

        Mek, do stop with the title suggestions. They aren't helpful because they are overly complex, grammatically incorrect, and not search-engine friendly.

    2. Eurofile profile image97
      Eurofileposted 15 months agoin reply to this

      As I'm fairly new around here myself I feel a little underqualified to give advice.  However, I can pass on what I have discovered in getting my first article featured.  My first take on your article was that it's shorter than HP like.  I noticed you have another article about kiwi fruit.  Have you thought of combining the two along the lines of everything you need to know about kiwi fruit?  Tips I were given on changing my article were to capitalize headings and to get rid of bold type.  It seems that HP like bold type and italics kept to a minimum.  I hope this helps a little.

  2. Gregory DeVictor profile image96
    Gregory DeVictorposted 15 months ago

    You wrote:

    "There is mold on the fruit's skin
    There is oozing juice coming from the fruit
    The fruit is overly squishy (AKA you pick it up and it's really soft)
    There are bad smells coming from the fruit (if your Kiwi has really really gone bad, sometimes you can smell even smell it!)
    The skin is overly wrinkled along with the fruit being too mushy"

    This passage does not have to be in bold characters.

    1. Marilyn Lane profile image84
      Marilyn Laneposted 15 months agoin reply to this

      Okay, thank you so much!

  3. aesta1 profile image89
    aesta1posted 15 months ago

    The video you included is about going bad. I suggest you get a video about kiwi getting bad. Take better pictures. Your second picture is too tiny.

  4. Gregory DeVictor profile image96
    Gregory DeVictorposted 15 months ago

    In your title, you need to capitalize the words tell, has, and gone.

    You also need to add more meaningful content to your article. You currently have circa 325 words and this might not be acceptable to HP.

    1. Marilyn Lane profile image84
      Marilyn Laneposted 15 months agoin reply to this

      I thought it might be a little short- but I'm running out of ideas on what to add to it...I'll try thinking of more content to add. Thanks for the help!

      1. theraggededge profile image98
        theraggededgeposted 15 months agoin reply to this

        Well maybe, this piece should be part of a larger, more general article on kiwi fruit? I'm going to pop 'kiwi fruit' into a site called 'answerthepublic'.

        Kiwi Fruit +

        in pregnancy
        skin nutrition facts
        for toddlers/babies
        for diabetic
        can you eat the seeds?
        is it good for you?
        too sour
        to help sleep
        to tenderize meat
        fruit or vegetable?
        smells like egg
        kiwi fruit vs (all the other fruit you can think of)

        There are tons of them, and they are all things people are searching about kiwi fruit.

  5. chasmac profile image95
    chasmacposted 15 months ago

    You need to add the word "Fruit" after "Kiwi" - at least in your title. A kiwi is a bird (or a New Zealander).

    1. Marilyn Lane profile image84
      Marilyn Laneposted 15 months agoin reply to this

      Haha I forgot about the Kiwi Bird XD

  6. DrMark1961 profile image97
    DrMark1961posted 15 months ago

    theraggededge is not suggesting you make each one of those questions a separate article. What you need to do is learn how to write comprehensive articles that answer the readers questions.
    Sure, some people might want to know how to tell if a kiwi fruit is bad. If Google thinks that your article is shallow, however, and puts it on page 20, you are not going to get any readers. If you make a comprehensive article about kiwi, and follow those suggestions she has given you, as well as adding a great title, Googel will be more likely to rank your article higher and also put your article in the search results no matter what the query. (A comprehensive article will have a lot more keywords and be seen by the reader more often.)
    A lot of work to write a good article, but it is worth it. If your article is good you can keep on earning for the next 5 or 10 years. If you write something shorter you will probably never earn off of it.

    1. Marilyn Lane profile image84
      Marilyn Laneposted 15 months agoin reply to this

      Okay thank you very much!

  7. Marilyn Lane profile image84
    Marilyn Laneposted 15 months ago

    I have renamed, and edited the article to make it include more.
    https://hubpages.com/food/How-to-tell-i … s-gone-bad

 
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