I'd like feedback on my article A Creed For the Third Millennium

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  1. Jodah profile image89
    Jodahposted 8 weeks ago

    I received this email from HubPages:

    Congrats! Your awesome article, A Creed for the Third Millennium, is eligible to be moved to RemedyGrove, a HubPages Network Site....

    We have identified a few issues that need to be addressed before your article can be moved. We ask that you address the issues below and then submit your article for reconsideration. ....

    The Editor who reviewed your article suggests that you address the following issues:

    Photos:
    Every article on Network Sites should have at least one high-quality photo. If there are multiple photos in the article, they should all be relevant to the content and visually appealing. Original photos—without watermarks—are always preferable to stock photos. If you must use stock photos, please choose them carefully and tastefully.

    All the photos are legally free use cc from Pixabay, except one which is my own. Do you feel the pics included may not be relevant to the content? The photos are the only issue mentioned by the editor. Thanks. https://hubpages.com/education/A-Creed- … Millennium

    1. Natalie Frank profile image96
      Natalie Frankposted 8 weeks agoin reply to this

      I'm not sure how relevant the images are to the content.  Maybe see my if you can find some that are more directly related to a specific section.  Add the source and give each a caption that tells how they are related.  This may just be something that's a function of my iPad but also make sure they are big enough (they don't reach across the column on my tablet).  Good luck!

      1. Jodah profile image89
        Jodahposted 8 weeks agoin reply to this

        Thanks Natalie. i will look at that.

    2. bravewarrior profile image91
      bravewarriorposted 8 weeks agoin reply to this

      John, while I love your article, I don't think you need a graphic for each of the 12 points. I'd remove the graffiti-type pix and the hands with writing all over them. The ratio of Pixabay shots versus your own is upside down. With all the photos you have in your personal library, I'm sure you have more of your own that relate to each creed.

      I don't really get the photo you have for item number 4. It's a pretty pic, but doesn't relate to the topic.

      Hope this helps, my friend. And congrats for the promotion to a niche site!

      1. Jodah profile image89
        Jodahposted 8 weeks agoin reply to this

        Ok Shauna, thanks for that. I appreciate your feedback. I will make a few changes.

    3. Eurofile profile image97
      Eurofileposted 8 weeks agoin reply to this

      I can see where you are going with the photos. They make me think and work a little to see how they fit in with the article. It seems like the editors are looking for more direct links and photos that are easy to assimilate. While we, as writers, don't necessarily agree all the time with what editors say, I am finding increasingly that I have to try to view my articles from their perspective and adapt accordingly. How about swapping some of your photos for some very obvious illustrations of your points? Frustrating I know, but persevere and you will get there in the end. If a good writer like you has issues with the process, what hope is there for the likes of me?

    4. MizBejabbers profile image91
      MizBejabbersposted 8 weeks agoin reply to this

      John, I read your article when you first published it. At the time I saw a couple of things that I didn’t care for from an editorial standpoint, but then I don’t always agree with HP editors. However, it’s their ballgame.

      1.    I think you have too many photos. I find them distracting from the content except for a couple that really relate. I would not use more than three or four. I especially like the first photo because I think it sets the tone. Your mission photo also illustrates your point about your mission. The photo in no. 8 is lovely, a good photo and it fully expresses embracing the inner child. No. 9 is a good clear B&W that also expresses being sincere. No 10, while a very good photo, immediately brings out any prejudices that one might have toward Muslims, so I’m not sure about using it. Regarding the family photo in number 12, I would edit the caption to mean that you and your family are very happy and secure in your future (I love that photo, BTW). The rest of the photos seem to be included just to have more photos. Anyway, I would choose three or four of your best and make sure that they and their captions relate. I’m surprised that HP didn’t use their hubtool on it. They used it on one of my hubs, and it removed a photo they said was superfluous. I agreed with them.
      2.    Move the video to the end. We all love John Lennon, and this song IMHO relates to your content. However, as a reader, not an editor, I don’t want to stop reading and listen to it. I think I saved it for last and went back to it.
      3.    I think one critic misunderstood your first paragraph which read: “Mankind has never been short of written guides instructing the various races, cultures, and religions how they should live their lives—from the 10 Commandments (almost identical in both The Bible and the Quran), to the teachings of Buddha, Confucius, Gandhi and other spiritual leaders.” This paragraph comprises a complete sentence, but this person read the clause following the dash as a separate sentence and said it needed a verb. No, it does not, however, her opinion does indicate a reader problem with it. You could fix it in one of two ways: Change the dash to a comma to indicate that it is a dependent clause or change the dash to a colon. A series, phrase or clause following a colon does not have to have a verb either.
      4.    I don’t understand the comment about the ellipses. The person is correct that they have only three dots, but proper ellipses don’t have spaces between the dots or between the dots and the words. They are written like this:  Mankind has never been short of written guides…to the teachings of other spiritual leaders.”

      Have you run this article through the hubtool? It might be beneficial. In all, I think it is a great article, and I loved your answer to my comment.

      1. Jodah profile image89
        Jodahposted 8 weeks agoin reply to this

        Thank you very muck MizB. That is very helpful.

  2. Kenna McHugh profile image88
    Kenna McHughposted 8 weeks ago

    I am not versed in photo imagery lingo or terms. So technically, some of your photos are fuzzy.  Some of your photos do not relate to the article or content. Such as the image of the hands with words inside them. They don't relate to "being grateful" and are just a filler.  This is what I do when I am looking for a photo: I ask myself What do I want to communicate? Answer: Love. I go to pexels.com or pixabay.com and search for photos using the word "love." I find one that fits my idea. There are times where I find one right away, and there are times where I search and search.  When I search I keep it to a single word, not phrases.  Let's take your "Find  Your Purpose in Life" I searched "Purpose" and nothing. I searched "life" and found  these photos https://www.pexels.com/search/life/
    Or, you can do synonym searches as well e.g. instead of "purpose" search "drive" or "passion". I hope this helps.

    1. Jodah profile image89
      Jodahposted 8 weeks agoin reply to this

      Thank you, Kenna.  Believe it or not I do the same when I search for photos. I wonder why all are clear on both my computer and iPad and not "fuzzy." Natalie said on her iPad the photos are not full width...well on mine they are, so I have no idea why these things are not consistent across devices.

      1. Natalie Frank profile image96
        Natalie Frankposted 8 weeks agoin reply to this

        Not sure why they weren't full width on my tablet - they look fine on my laptop (which I didn't have with me yesterday - sorry).  Another quick suggestion - hope you don't mind.  Your first picture should summarize the entire article.  Your article isn't really about believing in yourself.  One way you can do this which can save time searching for the perfect picture and which you can make into exactly what you want is to create it yourself.  I know I've mentioned it before but I use Canva which is really easy to figure out.  You can find an image that you feel is closer to what the whole article is about.  Then you can put it on a background which leaves room for you to add text which clarifies what the picture signifies and leaves no doubt as to how the picture relates.  Or you can just use different words and phrases that applies to the article and your intended message.  I did a quick mock up with words that represent the 12 rules you have included.  I did it in under 10 minutes so it's not the best but will give you an idea of what I'm talking about.  You can change fonts, sizes and colors for the different words to make it more interesting and there might be a way to change orientations as well.  Hope this helps.  Take care.

        https://hubstatic.com/14334490.png

        1. Jodah profile image89
          Jodahposted 8 weeks agoin reply to this

          Thank you very much for going to so much trouble Natalie. I will certainly look at Canva.

  3. TessSchlesinger profile image94
    TessSchlesingerposted 8 weeks ago

    Interesting article.

    This is not a complete sentence: "From the 10 Commandments (almost identical in both The Bible and the Quran), to the teachings of Buddha, Confucius, Gandhi and other spiritual leaders." It needs a verb.

    There is something out of kilter about your artwork. It does't hang together. One of the tricks I use is to quote others and then put a picture of the person with the quote (Use photos from wikimedia commons). Alternatively, use a image editor like PaintNet (free and open source) to do your own illustrations.

    Also your titles need to have each word start with a capital letter.

    Ellipsis have three dots... Not five or two or seven. smile

    When  you promote your book, you use the words "It is said to be set in the future." In other words, you indicate that you haven't read it. Hubpages is quite strict that you should only promote items for which you have personal experience. In this case, you should have read the book. Perhaps you might like to change the wording if you have read it?

    1. Jodah profile image89
      Jodahposted 8 weeks agoin reply to this

      Thank you Tess, I will look at those suggestions.

  4. Marie Flint profile image87
    Marie Flintposted 8 weeks ago

    John, I find that when a photo doesn't work in size, the edit mode automatically points out the culprit, but I have to click on the question mark that points this out; it then shows the exact picture.

    I will look at the article further to see what else I can sugguest.

    1. Jodah profile image89
      Jodahposted 8 weeks agoin reply to this

      Thanks for you suggestions Marie, all good now.

  5. Jodah profile image89
    Jodahposted 8 weeks ago

    Thank you everyone for your help. I made a couple of changes and was ready to make more but the article has been moved to RemedyGrove already. I may incorporate more of your suggestions at a later date.

    1. Natalie Frank profile image96
      Natalie Frankposted 8 weeks agoin reply to this

      Congrats!

 
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