I'd like feedback on my article: What is Real Islam?

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  1. itsTalha profile image67
    itsTalhaposted 23 months ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? I included more words and corrected my grammar mistakes but still, Hub page is clearing my article.
    Here is my article: What is Real Islam? (must be signed in to view)

    1. AliciaC profile image97
      AliciaCposted 23 months agoin reply to this

      You have some important things to say in your article, but it still contains grammar mistakes. I don't know whether you didn't see my previous post suggesting how to change the grammar problems in the first text capsule or whether you don't want to follow my advice.

      How you change your article is up to you (of course). Errors in the first text capsule are especially serious, however, because they are the first ones that people see. If they see problems at the beginning of the article, they may not read the rest of it.

  2. Kenna McHugh profile image90
    Kenna McHughposted 23 months ago

    You need to follow our advice.

  3. CYong74 profile image98
    CYong74posted 23 months ago

    I have blunt words for you. Feel free to read, or not.

    Very simply, you will not get this article of yours featured unless you correct your understanding of English, article-writing, and Islamophobia.

    ENGLISH
    English is more than ensuring proper spelling or running your content through an app. Know too that Grammarly, at best, is an editing tool; it doesn’t capture everything and you still need a firm grasp of the language in order to benefit from it. Beyond grammar, there are also issues like sentence flow, content cohesion, etc.

    Your latest version is still full of such errors. It is also punctuated with nonsensical statements like “It looks like the good people are still left.” At the bottom of the write-up, your APA case titling is inconsistent. Any of these will immediately mark your article for rejection.

    ARTICLE WRITING
    A properly written “magazine-like” article is not an assortment of quotes. Original content is also not a bundle of declarations and accusations, which is what you have been doing.

    You cited many things, such as " other religions are also suffering from Islamophobia because those who promote Islamophobia target other religions in the name of Islam." The evidence? The examples? The other religions targeted? When you say “but many people rejected Punish A Muslim Day,” do you have numbers to support your claim?

    No easy way to put this but you are not a recognized expert in the area. If you wish to explore such subjects, you are expected to provide convincing proof. Preferably, third party evidence. You are also not some sort of respected religious teacher, so throwing religious quotes one after another is just going to put off any reader.

    There is also the matter of “writing to the title,” as theraggededge often says. You changed your title but the article starts off about Islamophobia. Then you moved on, abruptly, to share the basic tenets of Islam. So what is it that you are trying to say? Your article is now called “… Real Islam.” So what is fake Islam? Did you even mention that?

    ISLAMOPHOBIA
    Make no mistake. All of us who have responded to you know your underlying message. That of, an irrational fear of Islam, caused by ill-knowledge, results in violence and harm.

    However, you vastly discredit yourself when you make the statement, “The people of the West should read the true teachings of Islam in order to eliminate Islamophobia.”

    Let me ask you, does Islamophobia not exist in Asia too? Does it not exist in that large country right next to yours? Or in East Asia? Or in Southeast Asia? With that awful statement of yours,are you saying Islamophobia only exist in the West, and only Westerners can eliminate it?

    That aside, my friend, you will be positively STUNNED at how well some westerners or Asians know and support Islam. They very likely know far more than you.

    Were you to ask me, I’d also say Islamophobia is caused by a myriad of factors. Factors that include:

    1)    Right-wing politicians encouraging the fear for their own political gain.
    2)    The unfortunate but unavoidable irrational horror of locals when faced with immigrant cultures starkly different from theirs.
    3)    The unrealistic expectations of Muslim immigrants in some countries, and their unwillingness to coexist with the cultures of the countries they shifted to.
    4)    Hardline, legitimate Islamic political groups repeatedly promoting a very different brand of the faith, as in when compared to what you wrote. These groups often try to subject non-Muslims to their rules too. For example, in Indonesia.

    You can disagree with my analysis, of course. But I bet one or more of these questions would be on the mind of a person searching for an article on Islamophobia. You did not remotely address any of these areas.

    I’ll go to the extent of saying your content repeatedly demonstrates a superficial understanding of Islamophobia, or even Islam. You are just throwing quotes and accusations without elaboration and evidence. Even if it’s featured, you will not attract traffic.

    1. theraggededge profile image97
      theraggededgeposted 23 months agoin reply to this

      Excellent big_smile

  4. Rupert Taylor profile image96
    Rupert Taylorposted 23 months ago

    CYoung. A brilliant critique. I hope it doesn't fall victim to the old adage that "No good deed goes unpunished."

  5. CYong74 profile image98
    CYong74posted 23 months ago

    Rupert, I worry about that too. But the repeated posts asking the same thing seriously got to me.

  6. FatFreddysCat profile image95
    FatFreddysCatposted 23 months ago

    CYong74 with a cinder block for the win! CRUNCH!

 
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