I'd like feedback on my article: Disappointment due to fake friends

1. 57

   CelinaAdoreposted 4 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
   Here is my article: Disappointment due to fake friends (must be signed in to view)

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      OldRosesposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      In your profile you say that one of your hobbies is blogging.  Unfortunately, this is not a blogging site.  This is a site for serious writers who produce magazine quality articles of approximately 1,000 words.  Try Blogger or Wordpress (both are free) if you would like to start a blog.

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   2. 63

      Lucille Uttermohlposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Hi, I am a new hubber myself. However, I have a lot of writing under my belt, and may be able to help you.
      Your article needs a lot more detail. Why was traveling by youself a challenge? How did you meet this friend? What did he / she do to encourage you to meet at Pizza Hut? What do you think of as a good friend? How did this person fail you before? What did this friend do in the past that made you think you could trust him to show up?

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         theraggededgeposted 4 years agoin reply to this

         Hi Lucille,
         
         This kind of article doesn't work here. Blog posts and ultra personal anecdotes are discouraged.
         
         HubPages wants informative magazine-style articles, so the OP could perhaps turn it into an advice piece and include her own experience as an example.

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      2. 57

         CelinaAdoreposted 4 years agoin reply to this

         Good Advice! So the key would be magazine style articles right.   I am just begining.  So I started by Sharing my experiences.  As a beginner what steps would you recommend to me.

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2. 93

   AliciaCposted 4 years ago

   Leena, everything that I said when you asked for help with your last article applies to this one. You should also write your title in title case and check for grammar errors in your post.
   
   You need to study the Learning Center carefully or at least look at articles that have been featured. If you don't, you are going to be repeatedly disappointed when your own articles fail the Quality Assessment Process.

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   1. 57

      CelinaAdoreposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your valuable feedback.  Really appreciated.

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3. 87

   theraggededgeposted 4 years ago

   AliciaC, I don't think some of these newbies actually understand what we say to them.

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      CYong74posted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I doubt they even read our comments.

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         DrMark1961posted 4 years agoin reply to this

         Sometimes they do. I know this because they reply by telling me I am stupid for taking the time to criticize their errors.

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            theraggededgeposted 4 years agoin reply to this

            Oh, but that's never, ever happened to me

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            1. 99

               DrMark1961posted 4 years agoin reply to this

               I have been meaning to ask you where you buy your "Newbie Armour"? Is that for sale in the shops there in Wales or do you have to order it from Amazon?

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               1. 87

                  theraggededgeposted 4 years agoin reply to this

                  We don't need armour - we have thick skin and dragon scales
                  
                  
                  

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   2. 93

      AliciaCposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      You may be right, Bev. It's a bit strange. On the other thread, the OP said that the information would help them, yet they've ignored all the suggestions.

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4. 85

   FatFreddysCatposted 4 years ago

   This is not an "article." It's barely a paragraph.
   
   Take this crap to Tumblr.

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   1. 99

      DrMark1961posted 4 years agoin reply to this

      blogspot will take her too

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5. 99

   DrMark1961posted 4 years ago

   That makes a lot of sense. I am unprotected here.
   
   

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6. 62

   EricFarmer8xposted 4 years ago

   Like others have said, this article is flawed, as this format will not work on HubPages. This is something that could work on a personal blog. Maybe.
   
   First, you want to break paragraphs up. Nobody wants to read giant walls of text up. Insert some white space.
   
   Create some headings. Use a title tool to get the casing right. It helps me a lot.
   
   Also if I ignore the fact this article wouldn't work anyway, this doesn't tell me very much. You need to write more.

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