I'd like feedback on my article: Obesity and Mental Health

1. 59

   rabia banoposted 3 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
   Here is my article: Obesity and Mental Health (must be signed in to view)

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      FatFreddysCatposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      I got about this far before I bailed out:
      
      
      
      The English is similarly awkward throughout the article. It will never pass Quality Assessment in this current state.

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      Ammara Hameedposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      I think you must have to work on your English

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         theraggededgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

         "I think you need to work on your English."
         
         

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      2. 59

         rabia banoposted 3 years agoin reply to this

         its very kind of you thanks

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2. 59

   rabia banoposted 3 years ago

   thanks sir

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3. 96

   AliciaCposted 3 years ago

   The English errors make the article very hard to read. Part of the article appears to be a reworded copy of a section of a post written on December 4th at the askpharmatutor…..com website (without the extra dots). You need to write entirely in your own words and in correct English in order for the article to be accepted. It shouldn't appear to be a copy of a post elsewhere on the web. You should also include references for the facts that you've included in the article because you've placed it in the Health category.

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4. 59

   rabia banoposted 3 years ago

   thanks a lot
   Can I get more guidance from you in the future?

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      AliciaCposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      If you ask for guidance in a future forum post, I expect several people (including me) will be willing to help you if they can.

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         rabia banoposted 3 years agoin reply to this

         ok thanks

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   psycheskinnerposted 3 years ago

   The use of weird word choices makes this read like a 'spun' article.

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      theraggededgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Or bad translation software.
      
      Pick a sentence, any sentence...
      
      "In fat people (regardless of whether ladies or men), wretchedness backs off and sadness increments when contrasted with those with lean and relative weight."
      
      Rabia, your English is not good enough for HubPages yet.

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      1. 59

         rabia banoposted 3 years agoin reply to this

         sorry for english i must work hard thanks

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