I'd like feedback on my article: Memory Problems..how to Improve Them.

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   Jane51posted 4 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
   Here is my article: Memory Problems..how to Improve Them.

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      AliciaCposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Hi. Here are my suggestions.
      
      Titles and subtitles shouldn’t end in periods. The title should be written in APA title case.
      
      The title of a capsule shouldn’t be repeated in the text immediately below the title.
      
      You have misspelled some important words, including dementia, antioxidants, and in several places, flavonoids.
      
      In the last text capsule, you have capitalized the name of foods, which shouldn’t be done. In addition, it’s a good idea to write “vitamin C” instead of vit C.
      
      It’s good that you’ve mentioned your personal experience with the product in the first Amazon capsule, but I think you need to include a section about the benefits of memory games within the article itself.
      
      You should include references for the health and nutritional information in your article. You should also include a reference showing the benefits of games for memory, since you are advertising a book of games.
      
      I think the second Amazon capsule should probably go because you haven’t reviewed the book within the article.
      
      You should indicate the source and license of your photos.

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         Jane51posted 4 years agoin reply to this

         Thankyou Alicia that was very helpful.

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      OldRosesposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      HubPages does not want us to use Amazon capsules.  The editors are snipping them.  We are supposed to use text links instead.  If you are going to recommend an Amazon product, you must say that you have used it and why you are recommending it.

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         Jane51posted 4 years agoin reply to this

         Thankyou Oldroses

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   Jane51posted 4 years ago

   Hi Alicia I took your advice and put the changes in place but the article is still not featured and they suggested putting it here again for advice?

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      AliciaCposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Hi again, Jane. I notice that your article is still missing references for the health facts in the article. I know that you are a nurse, but you still need to state a list of sources for the information that you've shared.
      
      You don't seem to have changed the title of the article either. "Memory Problems and How to Improve Them" is one possible title.
      
      I know that HubPages is very keen that the first text capsule in our articles is excellent, so I think you should try rewording "The passage of time and the study of these past methods have come up with a collection of excellent solutions". We generally say that a person has come up with a solution for a problem. It would probably be best to end the capsule with "how to improve them", since you can't guarantee that the steps that you describe will solve memory problems.
      
      Another thing you could do is remove the space after the "Blocked Out" capsule.
      
      I would put the section about memory games before the Amazon capsule in order to explain why you've included the capsule before people see it. It's possible that a moderator thinks that the book that you are trying to sell is irrelevant. You haven't mentioned whether the specific games in the book have been proven to be useful or described why the author of the book should be trusted. If you can't do these things, it would probably be better to delete the capsule.
      
      Good luck.

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         Jane51posted 4 years agoin reply to this

         Thankyou Alicia you have put a lot of yiur time and effort into your answer to help me improve my writing. I appreciate it and will go back and do what you suggest to improve the quality.
         Thankyou

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            AliciaCposted 4 years agoin reply to this

            Hi, Jane. I've thought of one other thing that I should mention. It would be a good idea to include a disclaimer of some kind stating that if the treatments you've described don't help a person's memory, they should consult a doctor.

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   erorantesposted 4 years ago

   Hello miss.Jane 51.  You need to edit the grammar part. I see. You used many hyphens to make the words in abbreviation form. Some sentences are not completed. I Like your article.  It is an excellent information for people who forget things. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and knowledge. Have a wonderful weekend.

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4. 76

   Jane51posted 4 years ago

   Thankyou to you both for the help

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