I'd like feedback on my article: Coffee is More Black Than You Imagined

1. 67

   Wakio Mercyposted 4 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
   Here is my article: Coffee is More Black Than You Imagined (must be signed in to view)

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2. 99

   DrMark1961posted 4 years ago

   "Daily consumption of coffee makes Ethiopia the largest domestic consumer of coffee in the continent." I dont think so, but maybe in Africa.

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      NateB11posted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Africa is the continent.

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         psycheskinnerposted 4 years agoin reply to this

         I think the point is they think a non-African country is the highest overall -- generally Scandinavian countries are counted as the highest consuming per capita, for net imports or per capita times population I don'
         t know....

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         1. 84

            NateB11posted 4 years agoin reply to this

            Not even sure how to address your response to my comment, because it's borderline non sequitur. The article is about Africa and Ethiopia, the sentence referenced is about Ethiopia, the logical conclusion is that the statement means Ethiopia consumes the most coffee in the continent of Africa where Ethiopia - surprise, surprise - is located. In fact, the writer, in the paragraph in which the statement is made, is very obviously comparing Ethiopia to the rest of Africa...which is a continent....in which Ethiopia is located.

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         2. 67

            Wakio Mercyposted 4 years agoin reply to this

            Thank you for your feedback

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3. 86

   theraggededgeposted 4 years ago

   Hi there,
   
   The first sentence is grammatically incorrect: "Coffee traces its origin in Ethiopia.."
   
   It should be "We can trace the origins of coffee to Ethiopia.." Coffee cannot trace anything
   
   There are quite a few grammatical errors so proofread carefully.
   
   Also, the word 'coffee' appears 40 times, which is too high, and might be picked up by QAP as keyword stuffing. I know it's difficult, but try to substitute with 'it' or 'the fragrant bean'... you get the idea. For instance the shrub that the coffee berry grows on is the genus 'coffea'
   
   Another example, "When making it as a beverage the Kaffa add the ghee, which clarified butter to add flavor to the coffee. " You could easily leave off 'to the coffee'.
   
   The major problem is the title... what part of your article reflects it? Are people likely to be searching for it? If people want to know the history of coffee, most will click on the Wikipedia article.
   
   Have a think about how you could make this a useful resource.
   
   Good luck.

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4. 67

   Wakio Mercyposted 4 years ago

   Hi thank you for your feedback. I have a long way to go but am willing to put in the work.

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5. 67

   Wakio Mercyposted 4 years ago

   Thank you for your feedback!

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