I've fallen and can't get up

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   Moon Goddess1854posted 14 years ago

   I was on leave for a month and I will have to get back to the sweatshop in a few days.
   
   To put me back into the groove, I tried several things like giving myself a pep talk or do a bit of paperwork just to condition my mind. But I keep getting distracted with something like, going to bed, making blueberry cheesecakes, watching movies, etc.
   
   Now near desperation I was planning to tie myself on the post (so I won't run away) and slap myself silly just to put sense back into my head, but I can't do it on my own.
   
   Anybody here want to volunteer? Err, what I mean is somebody had the same problems I do?
   
   If you did, how did you pull yourself back into the grind?

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   Justine76posted 14 years ago

   well, I like blueberry cheescake?

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      Moon Goddess1854posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I tried my hand making a no-bake blueberry, it worked. I thought I was useless in making pastries.
      
      Sure, where do you want me to send it? I just hope the ants wont eat it first before it reaches you..

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         Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         my house is fulll of ants

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            Moon Goddess1854posted 14 years agoin reply to this

            LOL!

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               Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this

               

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   Ohmaposted 14 years ago

   I just retuned to work after having been off for 6 months. you just do it because you have too.

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      Moon Goddess1854posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I keep telling myself that Ohma. I used to not have difficulty going back to work after a month or several week's of not working, but now I just feel like the fire is almost gone.

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   Iðunnposted 14 years ago

   I have no solution as I was never traditionally good at this, but you have my empathy.
   
   Best wishes with regard to doing what has to be done and getting back into that particular groove.

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      Moon Goddess1854posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Iðunn. Terrible dilemma. That's how I got into HubPages and started haunting the corridors of writers. I was trying to make myself become alive again.

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         Iðunnposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         You're alive, hon and every human being is valuable and you don't have to be a writer, or any other particular thing to be valuable.
         
         You might try the fake it until you make it approach, like the 12 step thing.  Just do the best you can and the new groove will build itself around you as you go.
         
         You sound like you are on the verge of or in depression if you don't mind this unsolicited and non-professional diagnosis.  If you are, try to read and watch and do happy things.  Treat yourself, like dinner out, bubble baths, or whatever lifts your spirits. 
         
         You're alive, god bless you and keep on trying.

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            Moon Goddess1854posted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Thank you Iðunn. I appreciate the kinds thoughts. I have been feeling this even before I went on a vacation. I was hoping that it would make me feel refreshed and re-energized. I haunted around HP to read nice thoughts and things from people and to somehow get inspired and there were a couple of writers whose work made me sit straight and feel light.
            
            I felt this feeling of uncertainty including fear in my early years when my mother brought me to school the first time. I didn't expect I will experience similar feelings again.
            
            But thanks Iðunn you have a kind soul.

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   lynnechandlerposted 14 years ago

   Just take it slow and one day at a time. I would give anything to be in your shoes right now.

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      Moon Goddess1854posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks lynne.
      
      I know I really should count my blessings. I have got to shake off this lethargy.

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   lynnechandlerposted 14 years ago

   When do you go back? If you are looking at it for this coming Monday, just think how nice it will be to go back to work and take some bright flowers in with you, make it a party.

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      Moon Goddess1854posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I'm going back Monday and I am already getting several messages on meetings that have been set for the entire week. Not to mention the manuals I have to write and documents I need to review.
      
      Just thinking about it is making my stomach boil. 
      
      Maybe I should bring flowers. That's a good idea lynne. Thank you!

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   lynnechandlerposted 14 years ago

   Oh meetings and such already set, definitely bring flowers and a get well soon card from a friend. Don't let them overload you or forget that you may be ready to return but you are still on the mend.

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      Moon Goddess1854posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Yup, I was already bombarded as such. Oh well. Thanks for the tip and the kind thoughts. I will definitely bring flowers.

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   TheGlassSpiderposted 14 years ago

   I decided to get serious about freelance writing/editing and my education. Now I do work and school from home (although I have to travel to Florida each semester for intense in-class training--woe is me ), I *just* landed my fifth client today, and I haven't missed paying the bills yet (it's been about three years).
   
   I stay up late, I sleep in, I watch movies, I cook; I help care for an elderly disabled gentleman. I play in my garden when I want to (when it's not winter) and I make my own schedule for the most part (it also helps that I *really* enjoy the work, so it's not like making myself meet deadlines).
   
   I might never get back to "the grind" except on my own terms
   
   Just a thought...What is it that you love? Could you turn something you love into "the grind" for you?
   
   I wish you the best of luck however things go for you! Remember the positive things about going back to work. My social life suffers! And sometimes I feel awfully like a hermit! LOL

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      Moon Goddess1854posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I hear you on the hermit side!
      
      You posted a serious thought I need to ponder. What do I really love to do? I love to paint and to write. There are millions of people out there who probably share the same thing I want.  But I have to also be practical. I need to earn enough that would keep my off the streets. I am happy though that you were able to do what you are doing now.
      
      What I do right now is something I like also. It challenges me. It makes me feel like I am able to contribute back a little to the society. I am no longer sitting on the fence as I used to do before.
      
      I just can't figure out what's turning me into a lazy mass of jelly blob.
      
      Thanks for sharing your personal experience and thoughts though. I appreciate it.

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         TheGlassSpiderposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I SO hear you on the "practical" part; there's a part of my heart that broke to "hear you" say it though, and here's why:
         
         When I was a little girl my dream was to write. I started writing when I was four years old! Silly little girl things, but writing nonetheless, and I loved it, and I KNEW I wanted to grow up to be a writer.
         
         But my parents said, "You need to be practical." And my teachers said, "You've got great talent, but you need to be practical." And my aunt (who adopted me in my teenage years) said, "I love you, but that's just a hobby, and you've got to be practical." And my friends said, "You've got to be practical."
         
         And only one or two here and there said, "GO FOR IT." Anyway, my back was against the wall three years ago and there was NOWHERE to go but up. So I went for it.
         
         I don't know. I know it's scary...and I know we have to be practical. Believe me. I know all about needing to make the bills...but, I would suggest that if you really love it, you can find a way to make it work (and it's SO much more fulfilling when it's YOUR dream and YOUR way).
         
         {{{HUGS}}} No matter what, I know you can do what you need you to!

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            Moon Goddess1854posted 14 years agoin reply to this

            TG Spider {{{Hugging back}}},
            
            I am so glad that I have found sites such as this because it allows me to continue with what I love to do. I have done two novels which I have written a few years back and I am compiling my haiku work on the side. Hopefully, I'd be able to publish it someday.
            
            My training since I started professional work honed me to be practical in all aspect.  Being the eldest also taught me to set aside what I dream to do and fulfill an obligation of being responsible.
            
            Listening to people being able to accomplish their dreams are such an inspiration.

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   StormRyderposted 14 years ago

   I have been off for the past 2 weeks and go back to work monday..I'm actually looking forward to it...but I wasn't on a vacation, I got hurt and have been going to physical therapy and just sitting around..It's always hard to get back into the work mode if you have been on vacation.

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      Moon Goddess1854posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      First off, so sorry to hear that. It is and I agree. I need to get my fire start kicking in. It's good to get ideas using this forum. Best way to get back into the reality is a douse of cold water of reality.

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      Kenrick Chatmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      After a 14-month involuntary vacation, I will go back to work by the end of this month or the first of April. I will receive my formal offer next week which will include the city I have to relocate to. I may have to relocate to Minneapolis or Chicago. I am hoping I can stay in Texas. I will also have to train up to two months in India.

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         Moon Goddess1854posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         It looks like things are picking up for you Kenrick.
         
         Good luck on your training trip. I hear India is a nice place.

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            Kenrick Chatmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Thanks. This vacation has been nice from all aspects of life except from a bank account perspective. Due to savings, severance, and unemployment I survived financially without having to cash in my 401K.
            
            I am counting down to early next week... because I will have to make life adjustments especially if I have to relocate from Dallas where I have friends and family to a city where I do not have any.

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    sneakorocksolidposted 14 years ago

    If you have a family and the kids need money dance or soccer you can't not do it. You gotta want them to have a good childhood before it gets too serious for them.

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       Kenrick Chatmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Luckily I do not have my own family or kids currently. I am a single bachelor.
       
       Unfortunately, it will be tough to say goodbye to my lady friends I befriended during 52+ weeks of group gym classes if I have to relocate... Likewise, I will have to acquire new friends...

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    mega1posted 14 years ago

    I recently had exactly the opposite problem  - I took some time off after several years of not having any real vacation time  - at first it was extremely scarey, which surprised the hell out of me!  I was frightened of checking into a hotel, I was afraid I wouldn't know how to tip the bellhop or the valet!  I thought I would be incredibly lonely and get lost and get sick and panic in the big city!  I didn't have any problems except I did get sick (a cold) from walking in the rain and I did have a teeny panic attack but was too tired to make it into a huge one.  So - I think you will find that you will overcome your fears, one at a time, and then get distracted by the work.  And if it is a problem of really not liking the kind of work you do, then maybe you can start searching for an alternative and remember, The Universe Provides, but first you need to find out what you want to be provided!

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