Need Advice on my writing

1. 77

   Ruchiraposted 14 years ago

   Hi,
   
   I am a budding writer but need some good pointers and tips from my hub friends so that I can improve my writing skills.
   
   Any feedback in that context would be greatly appreciated.
   
   Thanking you,
   Ruchira

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   1. 68

      blondepoetposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Wow you have more hubs than me.
      Any advice for writing so fast?

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      1. 77

         Ruchiraposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Hi Blondepoet,
         Not much advice on how I wrote so fast but, as I kept getting ideas/inspiration on topics related to LIFE....kept penning them down.
         
         Thanks for taking the time to write....Appreciate it!
         
         Cheers!

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   2. 82

      Rafiniposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Read, read, read, and read some more.  Reply, reply, reply, and reply some more.  Comment on hubs, comment on hubs, comment on hubs, comment on hubs some more.  Be active in the forums, be active in the forums, be active in the forums, be active in the forums some more.
      
      The more you read and write the better you'll get.  Try anything and everything that strikes your fancy - and have fun with it. 

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      1. 77

         Ruchiraposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you Rafini....Appreciate your tips.
         
         Cheers!

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   3. 76

      TIMETRAVELER2posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      It is very clear to me as a former ESOL teacher that English is, in fact, your second language, which is why your wordage seems so stilted at times.  You also have occasional usage errors.  Actually, for the most part, your English is pretty good, but the suggestion that you take a good writing and/or grammar course is a good one and one you should consider if you want your words to flow.

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2. 67

   Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

   I read one of your hubs.  It seemed kind of impersonal, like you copied information from several sources.  Is English your second language?

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   1. 77

      Ruchiraposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Fightkeeper for your response. However, none of my hubs have been copied they are merely coming from within me. I can guarantee that!!
      
      It is creative writing and my topics relate to our everyday life so I don't understand your "impersonal" remark. Please be explicit.
      
      No, English is not my second language but this is the way I chose to write
      
      Cheers!!

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      1. 67

         Flightkeeperposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I didn't mean to come off as a smart ass, but your sentences are sometimes a combination of run-on sentences and don't read smoothly.  The style is formal but some idiomatic phrases come up  here and there which is jarring.  I suggest that you don't put so many ideas in one sentence. Each idea is worth its own sentence and link the sentences so that it conveys your complete thought.

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         1. 67

            Flightkeeperposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            For example, this came from your "When Money Makes You Sick Hub", "We are all running after the same thing in life and while running, we are also losing track of our values, our love, and our family"
            
            - we lose track of our values but we don't lose track of our love, and our family. We lose track of time with our loved ones and family members.  I think that's what you're trying to say.  Anyway I just wanted to bring up a specific sentence which I thought was jarring.

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            1. 77

               Ruchiraposted 9 years agoin reply to this

               Thanks for the time to read and bring out my mistake...appreciate it.

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3. 71

   SteveoMcposted 14 years ago

   First of all you have 48 hubs.  I am not going to read all of those.   You need to select one, we all can read it and then discuss it.   
   
   Responding this way is too convoluted.   I hear someone say it was impersonal, what did she read.   I have no idea.
   
   Post a hub here and let us read it and discuss it.
   
   I did read two of your hubs:  'Need a makeover?' and 'Which day of the week looks good to you?'
   
   The first one seems to be a commercial hub with links all over the place.  The links seem to be the strangest things.  Like 'Being in trendy clothes makes an impression to a certain extent but not for long though, unless the person is going to be a mannequin for the entire meeting.'  Is linked to a bizarre little hub about manequins.  What the heck?
   
   Then the is a link to inspirational speakers, and then to further confuse the reader, makeovers are linked to a hub on free personal budget worksheets.  This is peculiar.   None of this goes together.
   
   Just a question about photos.   
   Are the photos of Susan Boyle yours?   
   
   Your rendition of makeovers starts with a whole introductory paragraph stressing the importance of how you look.   This paragraph sets the stage, tells the reader what it is about.   And then, suddenly there is a couple of other kinds of make-overs.   It seems disjointed and doesn't make sense.  The other 'makeovers' seem like an afterthought. 
   
   One of your links is double, like the link is in link form, then it is in sentence form.  But the link and sentence are the same thing and they appear this way:
   
   Amazon.com: Character Makeover: 40 Days with a Life Coach to Create the Best You (9780310256533): Ka
   Amazon.com: Character Makeover: 40 Days with a Life Coach to Create the Best You (9780310256533): Katie Brazelton, Shelley Leith: Books
   
   Then the apps section has a huge blank space between hub title and the link.   What is that for?
   
   
   The article is 90% Physical makeover, and 10% other stuff and should be 100% physical makeover.   The other stuff could be in other hubs, one on financial, one on character, etc.   
   
   Your Amazon ads surprisingly are all focused on the afterthought makeovers.  They should be all about the physical make over:  hair, clothes, nails, make-up, and things that make you feel good.
   
   The second hub on 'Which day of the week looks good to you?' seems short and silly.   Like, "racking our brains off with all sleazy tactics to get work done. "  Huh?   How does that make sense?  Not humorous either.  And then it is linked to a Christian Worship and  Devotions hub, now that is a little humorous.
   
   I did like your metaphor for freezing time.   
   
   Your ads are more appropriate here, with all of them relating somehow to the days of the week.

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   1. 77

      Ruchiraposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you SteveoMc for your precious feedback. I truely appreciate the time you spent on it.
      
      Sure, I did not mean for you all to look into all the 48 hubs but, look into one or two to give me the feel of my writing.
      
      Regarding the picture of Susan Boyle...I took it from the web.
      
      Regarding the links to my hubs, I did it abruptly and did not realize the intensity of it unless you mentioned it. Thanks!
      
      Will look into these 2 hubs and make the necessary changes....once again, thank you for making me aware.

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   2. 76

      TIMETRAVELER2posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      This is not the correct forum for posting hubs from people who wish others to review them.

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4. 77

   Shadesbreathposted 14 years ago

   I read a couple of them, the earth one and the travel one.  I think you're on the right track.  I would suggest to do as Rafini says and make sure you read and read and read.  In fact, I would suggest you read outside of hubpages, find some novels and short stories written in and around the nineteenth century to help you work on your pacing (Edith Wharton, Henry James...etc.).  I say this because you aren't afraid of a complex sentence, but you don't quite have the structures worked out yet, so that's giving you trouble. 
   
   Also, I recommend getting some grammar books or even taking a class.  I don't mean this as an insult either.  I wrote just fine by the time I decided to take a college grammar class, and I can assure you, that was one of the best and most useful, if not THE most useful class I ever took in my life.  There are some grammatical issues that are impacting your stuff that you could easily fix, and that also goes to the point I made above.
   
   Beyond that, I think your "voice" is engaging enough, but I will agree with Flightkeeper in that you might consider opening up a little too.  Don't write so fast, slow down and write as if you were whispering your story to someone in a pub or sitting by a lake.
   
   Just my two to seven cents.

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   1. 77

      Ruchiraposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you Shadesbreath for your dollar worth suggestions Appreciated every bit of it.
      
      Yes, I agree that I have trouble sometimes placing my complex sentences and that could mess up the message that I am getting across. I agree on the Grammar books as well since there is no harm in polishing my commas and semicolons usage. Thanks!
      
      My concern for slowing down is that I might lose my audience who usually like to browse through hubs and get the message across ASAP....but, I might give it a shot
      
      Cheers!!

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5. 61

   bojanglesk8posted 14 years ago

   Read more.

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