new and first few hubs done need feedback

Jump to Last Post 1-3 of 3 discussions (4 posts)
  1. vodkababes profile image57
    vodkababesposted 8 years ago

    hi i joined hub pages around 7 months ago didnt write anything then came back few week a go thought i would give it a try so i had a short story i wrote few yrs ago decided to put it on here as i was really pleased with it.
    then today i thought shall i carry on with it so i sat down and wrote some more today so any one please could you have a quick look or read would love comments or feed back see how i am doing doesnt matter if there good or bad as long as it helps
    me get better as i want to carry on writing this story thank you sandra

    1. thooghun profile image81
      thooghunposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Vodkababes, I'm pretty blunt on these forums, I hope that's what you're looking for!

      1) The absence of correct capitalization will hurt your readership (starting from the title itself. I'm not terribly strict on grammar, but it hurts the flow somewhat.

      2) There are some spacing issues, as an example:

      "damn her she thought what had she done and at this moment Tommy was at his grandmas, her mother, her mother who had said she didn’t know where he was, her mother who said I had disgraced the family name who said not to mention it unexpected break

      ever again. And on many occasions had slammed the phone down on her. .

      At that moment Kate screamed at matt and began slowly hitting him and sobbing"

      3) A relevant image would help your hub aesthetically and help give your hub some atmosphere (and a thumbnail that isn't your avatar!)

      4) Tags should be descriptive. Tags such as "tommy" or "reading" will not help you get more viewers. Try to find long-tail (phrases) tags that describe your content to someone who hasn't read it. "romantic short story" is a possibility.

      Hope I was some help wink

  2. vodkababes profile image57
    vodkababesposted 8 years ago

    thank you so much for your help as i said i am new here still learning so it is a great help

  3. vodkababes profile image57
    vodkababesposted 8 years ago

    i will go back later and try edit it


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)