You are completely unhelpful. I moved up four flights of stairs and have scrubbed down 1600 square feet of hard wood flooring without you ever lifting a finger.
How selfish of you!
Oh! I'm unhelpful? Who said we should get wooden floors in the first place? And why don't you use the lift like everyone else?
Well I would have loved to use the damn lift, if you would have made enough money to move us into a place that actually had one.
And you said you liked the wooded floors, said that the god-awful ugly rug that your so called friend gave us would look wonderful. Really, you would think that a gay man would know that purple paisley doesn't match tan curtains!
And while we're at it, could you stop leaving your dirty dishes in the sink and for the love of God put the seat on the toilet down when you are done.
Oh my God, that was your mom? Why does she have sideburns? (dear god please let your mum still be alive and have a good sense of humour)
And if that is coral than your right butt cheek is coral too. My mother said you would be like this. Next thing you know the tissue box will have one of those crocheted covers that looks like a doll.
Don't you dare call me a communist You MARXIST! And take your "intelligent design" with you! You are obviously a left wing conservative atheist! You worship hitler don't you? You ... You... TEACHER!
You didn't need to move in with me to find the missing link dear, you could have just gone to a family reunion! Your uncle Dinky has to put his shoulder in a sling so his knuckles don't get all scraped up.
But that's just the kind of response I'd expect from you. All that bleach must have finally eaten through your scalp and reached your brain. Maybe you should just go back to that large short haired biker that you were so fond of. I hear she is out on parole now.
Bleach? I am a natural sun-kissed blonde! And if you must know, Uncle Dinky was a concert pianist and got his hands trapped in the grand piano just before the removal men arrived 2 years ago. Perhaps you'd like to talk about the suspiciously thin, green fellow I saw you having a one-sided conversation with in the basement last week.
Oh, you have to go and bring THAT up! I told you I have glaucoma and my "medicine" makes me behave in strange ways sometimes. Real christian of you to pick on someone for a disability!
Concert pianist my rose red arse... a monkey and a crankable keyboard does not make a classical pianist. But that's what I get for bunking with someone who rhymes Monet with "dinette"
You drool in your sleep... Did you know that? I've had to put plastic covers on all the pillows.
I'm having a tough time deciding who to support without knowing who's the elephant and who's the donkey.
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I already have it. You can have it too.
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