Check it now-- this hub will self- destruct quickly.

1. 90

   Rochelle Frankposted 12 years ago

   http://jenifarssmith.hubpages.com/hub/B … -Boob-Size

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      K9keystrokesposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      (()) Thanks for the chuckle Rochelle! What a perfect example of pure spun  junk!

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      lobobrandonposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Which language is that? I thought only English was allowed...
      
      Surprisingly no fools are following that hubber

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      prettydarkhorseposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      that is funny...

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      georgethegentposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Damn, I missed it. Looking forward to it too!!!

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      paradigmsearchposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Hurray! 3 weeks and still in cache.
      
      Alas, no pics...

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      1. 90

         Rochelle Frankposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         No kidding?
         I didn't put a link to the new one I just cited-- it was in the hopper, but shhould be in the bin soon.

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2. 74

   WriteAngledposted 12 years ago

   "the majority of us like our female to contain far more than a mouth total of brilliant God obtainable gems"
   
   Since my mouth is sorely lacking in gems, whether obtainable from God or not, I now know why I never managed to hook a millionaire... 
   
   Priceless! Thank you for the laugh!

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      sofsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      This is the pick of the year.... thank you Rochelle ... for lightening up my mood
      and thanks Write Angled for that awesome response..

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      paxwillposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      "I for one, authentically similar to a nicely wrought boob"
      
      Wow, every sentence is a gem.  It's so good I don't think an article spinner program could have done it.  There must be some intelligent force behind it.

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3. 90

   Rochelle Frankposted 12 years ago

   No girl or woman from any culture or country or from outer space wrote this. but, yes, it was good for a chuckle. it probalby should be  copied and preserved for posterity... but I haven't done it.

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   Lisa HWposted 12 years ago

   I came looking for a good Friday-night thread - and this is a great one, Rochelle.    (It's too bad it won't run for long.)  (Think I'm going back for another read.    I was kind of confused the first time around.  I missed stuff.     
   
   
   (Oh my.     I just went back and read the "companion piece" (another associated with female anatomy.  This one's funny.  That one's just disturbing.    )

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      Rochelle Frankposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, that one was eye-rolling.... I can't quite get my mind to imagine adipose hankies.

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         Lisa HWposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         I just searched for "adipose hankies".  Guess what!  Number 1 on Google's search page!          (Good to know the Panda's always doing its job.)

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            thooghunposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            What on earth is an adipose hanky? Guess I'll find out soon enough.
            
            P.S: You learn something new everyday.

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               EmpressFelicityposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               adipose hankie = adipose tissue

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                  habeeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  We've always used it as a nickname for boobs. We call them "hankies" because they're crumb-catchers. lol

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                     EmpressFelicityposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                     

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                     Lisa HWposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                     That's only in the case of the individual who is not in need of "getting better her mistake size" and who is a few too many God-gems short of a jewelry store  The crumbs go straight for the floor for people like that.

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                        habeeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                        LOL!! My Tiffany-jeweled chest ultimately serves as a God-given appendage ineffectually complementing the wrought iron-like defect that summarily ensconces and submits them to its nebulous character.
                        
                        How was that??

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            Rochelle Frankposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Holey COWW! You are right-- This may be a SEO Masterpiece. Quick everyone, take notes, now.!!

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      2. 63

         Lisa HWposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         One more comment (maybe) before I head away from here:  If you search Bing for "adipose handkerchiefs" - guess what's at the very top of the first page.    (Let's just say it's not the one you originally posted on this thread....    )  (I know how it would get there search-terms-wise, but it's still amazing to me that it's there. )

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            EmpressFelicityposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            The top result I got was one of this lady's now defunct hubs, but result no. three was the same article, published on Bukisa.
            
            Not only is this person a purveyor of spun crap, but she's a purveyor of duplicate spun crap!
            
            BTW, what is "sophisticated cellulite"? IMWTK

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               Lisa HWposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                 Must have something to do with a sophisticated  prolapse, I'd imagine.    (Or else God-mistake-gems).

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               WriteAngledposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               Oh you are ignorant! It's cellulite caused by an excess of vintage Bollinger and caviare, of course!!!

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                  Lisa HWposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  Ah - I stand corrected.  I must make sure I wrist-watch out for this kind of thing in the future. 

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                  1. 92

                     habeeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                     We must all be on the wrist-watchout at all times!

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5. 90

   Rochelle Frankposted 12 years ago

   There was a lot of stuff that was missable.

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      Lisa HWposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      ...and yet a lot that wasn't.   

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6. 93

   thooghunposted 12 years ago

   This bit made my brain bleed.
   
   "Simply apply effectively timed rubbing method to the mistake can contain a positive add to group inside the mistake".
   
   Ladies and gents, we've been duped. This is next-generation code, and wooosh, right over your heads.
   
   Think about it:
   
   "For the lifetime of me why does 1 set one’s entire corpse by means of that appearance of anxiety".

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      Lisa HWposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Don't let your entire corpse "wristwatch out" whatever you do.  You never know what the consequences of that could be.

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      1. 93

         thooghunposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         That made me chuckle. The author is definately an "immense figure of surprising issues".

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7. 90

   Rochelle Frankposted 12 years ago

   I know these will be disposessed soon--- much like adipose hankies, I wish they would stay a couple of days just for their entertainment value, but I know they must be forever lost at some point.
   
   In all semi- seriousness: I do recognize that there are some people  in desperation trying to earn some small amount of money.  I do applaud their efforts and wish them well-- hoping that they find something that suits their talents and fulfills their needs.

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8. 81

   LeanManposted 12 years ago

   Maybe its a staffer sock-puppet account!!!!!!
   
   After all the account is still there.............

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9. 87

   Cardisaposted 12 years ago

   I see you guys have read the other masterpiece.
   
   Here is an excerpt, and I am laughing so hard I can hardly type this.
   
   "Not only a "beauty defect" within the subcutaneous overweight and hide which we hand-me-down to watch in the form of pits in addition to bump, it is forever accompany by a violate of any function of external organs and tissues.
   
   In the premature stage it can no more than be there no insignificant changes in the connective and adipose handkerchief, which grow with the maturity of troubles in more multifaceted forms inside infringement of the pelvic floor (absence of menstruation, inflammation of the appendage, etc.)."

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10. 0

    EmpressFelicityposted 12 years ago

    Well, it's the weekend so I think this particular masterpiece of the article spinner's art may stay to delight us for a bit longer. One thing I'd like to know is what is a contemptible boob implant and where can I get one?

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11. 92

    habeeposted 12 years ago

    Hey, guys - let's all write a hub about "adipose hankies"!!

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       habeeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Seriously! Let's have an impromptu contest to see who can write the funniest hub about adipose hankies.

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          habeeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          I just posted my hub on the topic! lol

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             SomewayOuttaHereposted 12 years agoin reply to this

             that was extremely funny!   

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                habeeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                Glad you enjoyed it!

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          Lisa HWposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          You actually did!!       I'll go read it later.      Now I'm trying to think whether I have the guts to write one from a different angle...         I'd love to...  (I'm just imagining HP staff noticing "tons" of Hubs suddenly showing up about adipose hankies 

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             habeeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

             Aw, c'mon' - go for it! Don't turn down a challenge! lol

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             habeeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

             Hopefully, they have a sense of humor.

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                Lisa HWposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                Hmm.  Thinking, thinking, working up some guts.......       (While I've been thinking something else occurred to me:  We should all start posting links and "likes"  to the original Hub that has been so entertaining all over everywhere.    The rest of the Internet might enjoy it too.     )

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                   Bianuposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                   The Hub will probably go down on Monday. Unless you intend to copy it and paste in this forum

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    SomewayOuttaHereposted 12 years ago

    that's funny.....sheesh, never really consider the gurrrrls a 'mistake' 
    
    "Simply apply effectively timed rubbing method to the mistake"

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    Bianuposted 12 years ago

    Wonder why this is still up.

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14. 87

    IzzyMposted 12 years ago

    What I thought was fun too is that the second hub's title had nothing to do with the content. I mean its called "Home Remedies for Uterine Prolapsed" and goes on about adipose hankies/tissue.
    
    Hey habee, getting any search traffic for your new hub yet?
    
    You do know you are going to seriously confuse some folk! lol

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       habeeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       
       
       I think perhaps those searching for that term are already confused!

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15. 81

    timorousposted 12 years ago

    Ok, who's gonna be the guilty one, and be the first to flag this masterpiece?

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    1. 90

       Rochelle Frankposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       I flagged it before  the first post and don't  feel guilty at all.
       I did have second thoughts when I realized that not a lot of people would have the pleasure of enjoying it as much as I did -- so I posted the topic.

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       1. 87

          IzzyMposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          I flagged too, Rochelle. I have no hesitation, its hubs this and the one I've just  linked that brought HP down before.

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16. 60

    Bianuposted 12 years ago

    I am in the hub Challenge for the first time and have been stumped for ideas.
    
    Not so funny, but here's mine on the hankies.
    
    http://bianu.hubpages.com/hub/What-is-an-Adipose-Hankie

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    1. 87

       IzzyMposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Adipose tissue is just the technical term for fat - specifically it the layer of fat under the skin and some of us have more than others.
       
       But it doesn't matter what you say an adipose hankie is lol.

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17. 87

    IzzyMposted 12 years ago

    Rather than start a new thread, thought I'd throw this one in. I might be wrong, but I think it might be just a little keyword stuffed!
    
    http://wwwlocalseo.hubpages.com/hub/man … cksmithnyc

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    1. 90

       Rochelle Frankposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       More stuffing than a thanksgiving turkey, and yet they found it necessary to BOLD the term each time. What was it now? Locksmith something?

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       Lisa HWposted 12 years agoin reply to this

           I don't know....       I can't really see a problem with a "few" big, bold, keywords.  I think some of us might benefit from forgetting about adding the frills of other words and just getting to the heart of the keyword matter from now on.   

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          Rochelle Frankposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          I'm going to flag that one with a hankie.

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             Lisa HWposted 12 years agoin reply to this

             linen or adipose????

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                Rochelle Frankposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                Kleenex. Something disposable.

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                   Lisa HWposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                   Now, here's where the Hubs about uterine prolapses, cellulite, gems, and wrist-watching out could be combined with remarks about the keyword-stuffed one Izzy posted could be combined to make for a very useful Hub for the God-given-appendage-challenged of the world.

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                      Bianuposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                      Ok, I have no idea what you just said

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       WriteAngledposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       The user name implies he is offering his SEO services to local businesses

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          habeeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          That one has more keywords than actual text! I'm impressed.

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          IzzyMposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          Gawd help them!!

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18. 92

    habeeposted 12 years ago

    Off topic, but sort of related: A pal just told me about seeing a little girl in a pageant wearing a meat bikini. Gross! Bet she's popular with dogs! lol

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       Lisa HWposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       This thread just may become one of the classics.   

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          habeeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          

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          Rochelle Frankposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          ... and it's already inspired two hubs.

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             Lisa HWposted 12 years agoin reply to this

             Call that "3" (at least as long I'm able to leave mine up).  (I don't know if I can.  I've deleted my own for a lot less.    )

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                habeeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                Funny hub!

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19. 87

    IzzyMposted 12 years ago

    I think mine might get unpublished too because of its title, but we'll see.
    
    http://izzym.hubpages.com/hub/Keyword-S … e-Spinning

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       habeeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       This is just TOO much fun!

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       Lisa HWposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Maybe you need to develop the mind of an article-spinner and re-title it something like, "Key Term Fluffing and Word Mixer-Uppers" (oops, "uppers" may not fly either)

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    Aficionadaposted 12 years ago

    Oh my, I tend to be a chuckler, not a chortler, but, Ladies, I'm rolling on the floor reading this thread.
    
    I don't think we should send people to the original Hub, though.  I would think it could have an adverse effect on HP somewhere along the line, if it gets too many hits (bad content...).
    
    Anyway, I did copy it onto Paint, and will post it now (three pieces - I hope they can be enlarged to readable size).  If it doesn't work, someone can do a Copy-Paste thingie.

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21. 78

    Aficionadaposted 12 years ago

    

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22. 78

    Aficionadaposted 12 years ago

    Hmmm... I'm not sure the clarity justifies posting the other parts.  It's readable, when enlarged, but just barely.

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       IzzyMposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       It's the only copy of that masterpiece left, unless someone else copied it too, as it is now unpublished.

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       1. 78

          Aficionadaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          I saved all of it as jpeg's but I'm not sure how to enlarge it to a more readable size. (I did trim off the profile link, though, in an attempt to make it more legible.) Suggestions, anyone?

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             IzzyMposted 12 years agoin reply to this

             Make it into a hub? LOL
             
             Nope, I've not learned how to make forum photos bigger.

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23. 69

    Anamika Sposted 12 years ago

    Well, The adipose tissue is gone now... Really that was hilarious.

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       habeeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       The saga of the Great Adipose Tissue Issue!

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          Lisa HWposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          Will there be a novel or short story to accompany your adipose-hankie Hub, by any chance?  Maybe a poem?

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24. 78

    Aficionadaposted 12 years ago

    I think I've figured it out - give me about 10 minutes or so.  BRB,

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25. 78

    Aficionadaposted 12 years ago

    

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26. 78

    Aficionadaposted 12 years ago

    

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27. 78

    Aficionadaposted 12 years ago

    

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28. 78

    Aficionadaposted 12 years ago

    

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29. 87

    IzzyMposted 12 years ago

    If you still have the original text file, why not just post the entire hub as a forum post? if nothing else, it will help prevent this idiot from reposting his 'hub' elsewhere as it'll come up as duplicate content right away.

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    1. 78

       Aficionadaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       I didn't save it as a text file, only as jpeg's.  I thought that was faster (initially) than the Copy-Paste method, but I think that was an incorrect assumption on my part.  Sorry....

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       Bianuposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Maybe we can appeal to hubpages to reprint it in this forum. It is surely one of the funniest pieces of fiction I have read in a while.

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30. 0

    EmpressFelicityposted 12 years ago

    OK, I've done my hub! It covers similar ground to yours Izzy.

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       Bianuposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Please post the link

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          EmpressFelicityposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          Just click on the purple cats and it will come up in the list of "latest hubs".

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31. 63

    Lisa HWposted 12 years ago

    Hey!  This forum thread is in second place on the search for "adipose hankies"     It won't be long before everyone's Hubs (or maybe everyone's but mine ) push that crappy ad thing that's now in first place right off the page!!  Now, we just need to hope someone actually DOES search for "adipose hankies"    This thread alone has already pushed a bunch of crud down.

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       IzzyMposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       I found this line in search "The breast is made up of hankie and adipose fat". Guess that is the same guy on other sites!
       
       Edit: and in a cooking site "greasy acids are transported to peripheral hankies where they are generally deposited into adipose hankie."

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          EmpressFelicityposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          The sad thing is, I actually understand what that means in proper English

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          EmpressFelicityposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          Not to mention (on a site about white tea) "In this exact learning the pasty tea extracts were practical in a straight line to the adipose tissue". Accompanied, in my case, by a lot of Adsense ads for... locksmiths.

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    MelissaBarrettposted 12 years ago

    Thanks guys, I want you to realize that you have taken the most obscure keyword phrase in the world and made sure I STILL wont rank on the first page of google for it.

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    1. 63

       Lisa HWposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       If human eyes or anything else associated with Google's noticing some things get a load of what's on that first search page for "adipose hankies" - not sure Google would be all that thrilled.   

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       Bianuposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Ha, Ha.
       
       I wonder what the google engineers will think about adipose hankie as a keyword with the recent traffic.

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33. 60

    Bianuposted 12 years ago

    Just to continue the fun, Pls read this poem
    
    
    Eye halve a spelling chequer
    It came with my pea sea,
    It plainly marques four my revue
    Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
    Eye strike a key and type a word
    And weight four it two say
    Weather eye am wrong oar write
    It shows me strait a weigh.
    As soon as a mist ache is maid
    It nose bee fore two long
    And eye can put the error rite
    Its rarely ever wrong.
    Eye have run this poem threw it
    I am shore your pleased two no
    Its letter perfect in it's weigh
    My chequer tolled me sew.
    
    I got it in the mail some time ago and laughed my head off.

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       habeeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Hey, I think I taught that guy! lol. That is freakin' hilarious. Huukd on fonix werked fer me!

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    2uesdayposted 12 years ago

    Maybe it is related to the saying 'hanky panky'.

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35. 60

    Bianuposted 12 years ago

    Can you believe that I got 2 non hubpages views today on my adipose hankie hub.
    
    Amazing! What on earth were they searching for?

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    1. 63

       Lisa HWposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       "adipose hankies" - what else?       (It just may be "The Next Big Thing".

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    2. 87

       IzzyMposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       You are lucky you get search engine traffic!
       
       I have not had a single visit from Google on my last 22 published hubs!

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          EmpressFelicityposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          Izzy have you thought of moving some of your hubs elsewhere? I know some of yours have been scraped so you can't move them, but the ones that haven't been scraped will do better on another site.
          
          I have an account that plunged in August and I've moved most of its hubs to Wizzley or my own site. The Wizzley ones are doing much, much better than they were on HP! Granted I did do a bit of editing on some of them (they needed it) but I'm very pleased by how much of a difference it's made.
          
          If you are like me you will feel an attachment to HP and loyalty is all very well but at the end of the day, there's no point in doing all this work if you're not going to see any results.

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             IzzyMposted 12 years agoin reply to this

             Every day I log on in the hope that Google has lifted its sandbox. I could just as easily re-write hubs for other sites rather than move them, but I keep hoping traffic will return.
             
             Meanwhile I do still get traffic from other sources, most notably Google.co.uk, just not Google.com
             
             I could sit down today and check each hub for plagiarism, then move them to another site.
             
             But I'd be kicking myself if traffic came back tomorrow!

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    SomewayOuttaHereposted 12 years ago

    wow...this thread really took off! 
    
    read one the other day about how to become an instant virgin or something like that ....with a spray!

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       wordscribe43posted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Now THAT is hilarious.  I can conjure up some pretty good names for a can of that, but alas, I will keep them to myself. 
       
       We should forward this along to Stan Fletcher!

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    timorousposted 12 years ago

    hymens-r-us

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38. 90

    Rochelle Frankposted 12 years ago

    This is the kind of thing that makes me wonder if I have been drinking-- or if I should start.
    
    It may have nothing to do with adipose hankies-- but how can you resist trying to read an article that has 'sentences' such as this:
    
    "Keep in mind pet cats can not cause everything that properly understanding that they may be not too very hot about subject-verb arrangement both." and
    "Organic beef become watching any wave inside user-generated articles, nevertheless the a lot more well known the internet receives, the harder that seems like the particular well known: homogenous, opportunistic and also business."
    
    I have no idea what this article is about.

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       WriteAngledposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Well, my pet cats are scrupulous grammarians, all four of them!

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    Rochelle Frankposted 12 years ago

    OK another one-- I did a double take only witnessed by my computer:
    
    "phallic approaches and jovial chronicles of level-headedness and impracticality?" --  so flagged!!!

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