Need Some Long Time, Understanding Hubbers, A Newbie Needs Help.

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   Cara.Rposted 13 years ago

   I am having a difficult time reading comments left on Hubs. Specifically if the criticism is not constructive or when it is apparent that people are quoting something I wrote. I am not a great writer but I am passionate about getting better. I find myself getting writers block over it. What are some ways for me to accept the good with the bad? How can I keep writing even when some comments can be cutting? I am a sensitive person but I am a reasonable person too.   
   

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   rebekahELLEposted 13 years ago

   I just read one of your hubs and I thought it was written well, and it was interesting. Perhaps you are taking comments too personally. I read one in which the poster said he had to reread the hub to better understand it, but I didn't find that critical. I think he meant he wanted to understand it in a deeper sense even though he didn't agree with everything you wrote.
   
   None of us are going to agree on everything someone thinks or writes about. Writing online leaves us open to different viewpoints. Being sensitive, you tend to take it personally while you could use a differing viewpoint as an opportunity to look at a topic or issue in another way. That doesn't mean you have to change your mind or question yourself, but it can broaden the mind and maybe help you take things less personally.
   
   BTW, I really love your photos on your hubs and the one you posted here. They're very beautiful.

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      Cara.Rposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks rebekahELLE for the advice, that comment you mentioned wasn't one of them. I felt Frank's comment was constructive. I also posted two questions when they really belonged in a forum or hub. Before I posted the question I looked to see if it was ever asked before and since it wasn't I thought it was O.K. to do. I was wrong. I guessed if it was in the wrong place it would have been able to be posted.  I take it personal when it is directed to me. Like here in the forum, if I asked for help and was directly put down, that would bother me. Not that you have.  Oh, thanks for the compliment on my photos, another love of mine other than writing.

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   rmcrayneposted 13 years ago

   Cara I don’t know that I had any answers for you, but I am sympathetic to your dilemma, so I thought I would respond.  I too tend to be overly sensitive. 
   
   I recently delivered 3 continuing education presentations, a total of 13 hours, at my state conference.  Last week I received a package in the mail with all of the rating/feedback sheets from the participants.  They were overwhelmingly positive.  Many, many 5 of 5 ratings on everything.  Almost all 4s and 5s overall, but one or two participants per course who slaughtered me- one gave me 1s & 2s.  Two or three people downgraded me basically because I had categorized and described my courses correctly, but I guess they didn’t bother to read the description.  The overwhelming majority of participants were very pleased.  I really could not have asked for a better batch of ratings, but I guess because they were not all “firewall 5s”, I let it “ruin my day”. 
   
   If the comments are causing you to not write, consider not putting in a comment capsule for a while, until you feel more confident.  You can always go back later and add one.

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   1. 75

      IzzyMposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I'm sorry to hear you had negative feedback which was almost certainly undeserved - there are some right narky barstewards amongst us - but I totally agree with everything you say.
      
      To the OP:
      
      I had one lady repeatedly arguing against a case I made in a recent hub.
      
      I finally commented back to her that she should stop putting down the motion I put forward, as she would not like if I did that on her hubs.
      
      She replied somewhere along the lines of "if I want to write it, I can expect criticism", and to a certain extent she is right.
      
      But I am a money hubber, as opposed to a hubber who always writes from the bottom of her heart, and this hub had attracted a lot of views from a certain quarter.
      
      I objected to her comments because it reflected badly on the hub and could have frightened potential viewers away, but I couldn't write that in the comments.
      
      I usually write hubs that might gain traffic, and therefore money, but I sometimes write a hub because I want to.
      
      I only once wrote a joke hub, that was written in a serious fashion. I wish I could write more like that!! It was fun!
      
      Getting back to the main point, a lot of especially newer hubbers do not realise the power of the comments section when they comment.
      
      "Good hub", simply doesn't cut it, but if someone wants to take your hubs apart, and make new points, then leave it there because a searcher might find your hub through that comment.
      
      You have to distance yourself to a certain extent. If the hub is personal, and you feel hurt by the comments, then you have to rise above it, if their comments add value.
      
      At the end of the day, anything that brings in traffic is good, right?

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   paradigmsearchposted 13 years ago

   I periodically have to remind myself of a certain word...
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   "Woman set afire in elevator of her NYC building"
   
   "NEW YORK (AP) — A woman burned to death in the elevator of her Brooklyn apartment building Saturday after a man ambushed her, sprayed her with liquid and set her afire with a Molotov cocktail, police said."
   
   More... http://news.yahoo.com/woman-set-afire-e … 47233.html
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   And that word is "perspective".

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      Cara.Rposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Does that mean I have to compare myself to a woman on fire? Or does it  that mean, that is something you do, to help yourself? I'm interested, it wasn't meant to be sarcastic.

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         IzzyMposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         No, it just means paradigmsearch needs more medication.
         
         You'll get used to the characters here on the forums, honestly

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         sofsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         LOL Paradigmsearch is like thgat so don't worry about it too much..laugh it off... he/she is well meaning
         Don't worry about comments.. just keep doing your stuff as best as you can... i haven't made it to your hubs to read them.. but I mean to..in the meanwhile I wanted to assure you...that you need to forge ahead.. I used to feel the same way ... but not anymore.. Now I do my best and have fun

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            paradigmsearchposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            I knew that when I made that perspective-post yesterday, that there was a high probability of misinterpretation. But I thought it was important enough to the OP for me to make the post anyway.
            
            The good news is that I have now written a nice, long clarification. The bad news is that I stuck it in a hub instead.

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               Alexander Peaseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               I interpreted the post to mean that there are worse things in life, like getting set on fire.

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                  paradigmsearchposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  And that interpretation would be correct.

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   maxraviposted 13 years ago

   Well Cara I would say criticism is a part of writing.even I too get some harsh and hard comments but it is all right.everybody has right to share their thoughts.forget those and concentrate on your writing.

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   capricornrisingposted 13 years ago

   Hi Cara - I haven't seen the comments you speak of, so I can't judge. And I don't mind telling you I'm a bit surprised. My experience so far of reading others' comments on my and others' hubs is that most hubbers go out of their way to be friendly and supportive, while much of the time, not actually engaging with the poster. I don't mind telling you that I'm guilty of that myself on occasion.
   
   If you feel courageous enough to share the hub title(s) that contained the negative comments, it might help folks reading this thread to share better perspectives with you.
   
   Best -
   
   Cat

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   Alexander Peaseposted 13 years ago

   A few things that you can do to decrease the amount of stress that you have been getting from these comments:
   
   - Remove the comment capsule on some hubs that you think might receive negative comments.
   
   - Participate in the sandpit forum, which will usually attract a more laid back audience.
   
   - Have someone else, like a friend of significant other, approve the comments for you, (if you still want feedback). Then return to the hub a few days later and read them from an objective point of view. That way you can still write, without worrying about it.

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   1. 66

      Cara.Rposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks everyone for your advice, very much appreciated.

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