Happy Valentines Day to Every Woman on HP... Please Critique This Hub.

1. 68

   Pearldiverposted 12 years ago

   I wrote this poetry hub to show people that using poetry on Valentine's Day can be a really nice thing to do..
   
   I wrote the poem to all the women in the world and if it fits you.. then please accept it as my wish to you for a very happy day..
   
   If it doesn't... then please tear it to bits - constructively!
   
   I need to gauge a range of comments on this work...
   
   Thanks for your input.. Happy Valentines
   
   http://hubpages.com/t/2ce70a
   
   I hope that this poem fits you
   
   PD

   replyreport
   1. 94

      habeeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Shades of Pablo! Thanks for writing such a beautiful poem about me, PD. I didn't think you cared.
      
      Seriously, I love the yearning and bittersweet longing expressed in your verse.

      replyreport
      1. 68

         Pearldiverposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Habee.. you are most welcome.. but I must confess that I made lots of copies - glad that it fits and thank you for your 'critique.'

         replyreport
2. 70

   Diane Insideposted 12 years ago

   So sweet thanks. I loved it.

   replyreport
   1. 68

      Pearldiverposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Cheers Diane... I appreciate you taking the time for me... Happy Vals..

      replyreport
3. 88

   Patty Inglish, MSposted 12 years ago

   I like this poem, especially the imagery, movement, and meaning of birds and the flow of both birds and meter in stanza 3 and the thoughts and mind of stanza 4. The shades of color in the photos are pleasing as well, except perhaps the red and black of the heart image, which seems like a burn to me, but it has impact.
   
   Really nice Hub.

   replyreport
   1. 68

      Pearldiverposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for that Patty.. I appreciate your candor and constructive comment. The image was created to gain such an effect... I wanted to not have a clearly defined shape, so that it would conflict. Good on you for noticing.. it wasn't lost.  Happy Vals Patty.. glad you liked the poem.. I hope your day is a great one!

      replyreport
      1. 88

         Patty Inglish, MSposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks a million!

         replyreport
4. 72

   sofsposted 12 years ago

   Beautifully seductive.. the imagery is stunning!

   replyreport
   1. 68

      Pearldiverposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you sofs.. you have a great Vals Day

      replyreport
5. 75

   Eaglekiwiposted 12 years ago

   Wow
   
   Beautiful poem PD,just loved it,evoked a pleasant,relaxing feeling,but strangely left me with some perplexing thoughts as well...all good!
   
   (which sounds so much more tactful that saying) ,Oh take me now

   replyreport
   1. 68

      Pearldiverposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      EK.. You had your chance.. but you refused to visit me in Bumble Town!
      
      Thanks for your compliment and critique input
      
      Happy Vals my Kiwi mate.. glad you liked your card

      replyreport
      1. 75

         Eaglekiwiposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Aww fanks and you are welcome. same happy thoughts back at ya.
         
         I bought some pineapple lumps and offer them as peace offering (offers only good til the adverts come on though) hehe

         replyreport
         1. 68

            Pearldiverposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            I will send you a years supply of Marmite coz the Pineapple Lumps will get eaten by Customs!

            replyreport
6. 67

   Joy56posted 12 years ago

   i read your hub, and it is wonderful........  I love it when men show their true feelings, so many hide them most of the time.  nice to re unite with you, i have not read any of your hubs in ages, and remember great times in the forums in the past......   Hugs, every day,

   replyreport
7. 68

   Pearldiverposted 12 years ago

   Thanks Brenda, I'm glad your critique is so nice
   
   I wonder why so many men struggle with showing their true feelings? But as guy who has never found difficulty in doing so, I have to say ........... "Yippeeeee!" 
   
   Ditto on the reads - You have a wonderful day Brenda.. take care.

   replyreport
8. 67

   Joy56posted 12 years ago

   I really dont know, why lots of men have such a hard time.  Maybe it was the last generation of men that went through a war.  I never heard the word love mentioned in my house, and could not say it when i met my future husband.  I remember him patiently waiting on the phone for one hour, and still at the end of the conversation i was to embarrased to say the word love.  I had a hard
   time using it with my children also.  Strange eh.....  My husband would be like you, he tells me he loves me about 300 times a day, and if he doesn't i ask him about 300 times.   Hang ups or what....  The generations are changing and men are not so shy about telling people they love them any more thankfully.  My dad was a lovely man, but he never once put his arm round me, or said he loved me, it was not done, in the North of England, post war...... ah memory lane. However i love your poetry, keep writing.

   replyreport
9. 68

   Pearldiverposted 12 years ago

   It wasn't just in the North of England Brenda, though I do believe that it was as a result of War, as you suggest. I believe that men were afraid to really get close to anyone, for fear that they would be killed or taken away.
   My father was the same as you say yours was... I think my generation were far more open and uninhibited... because the next lot (to me) seemed to be as conservative as my parents. Who knows though.. maybe it was just me being my rebellious self? Who are we really to say what is right.. when it all starts with perception and becomes mindset.

   replyreport
   1. 67

      Joy56posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      the pendulum keeps swinging, one way then the other...... Thank goodness for places like hubpages, where we can share our deepest poetry.  Strangely i have all my mum and dad's pictures and cards, he wrote to my mum in Anniversary cards, lovely things about us all and our children, which he obviously felt but could not express..... lets hope no more wars interfere with things.  Everything gets so messed up.

      replyreport
      1. 68

         Pearldiverposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Yes exactly Brenda... I am sorry for your losses.. it is really good that you have had the opportunity to understand their hearts... they were after all beating to create you! Take care.

         replyreport
   2. 75

      Eaglekiwiposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Its an Anglo Saxon thang

      replyreport
      1. 68

         Pearldiverposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         We once Fought the Saxons EK!

         replyreport
         1. 75

            Eaglekiwiposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Oops we did?
            
            Tell me more bro..
            
            Tis a good thread this one, but I guess I was looking at it from a slightly different angle ,the whole male ,stiff upper lip thing as a hangover from the British.
            And since I was raised by a white mum (til her death)then later predominantly by a brown dad,I grew up seeing him express a wide range of emotions ,unashamedly.
            
            He often would recite his own poems,or tell stories to all of our friends,but occassionally someone invariably would comment.."How strange, doesn't seem normal"
            
            He was often critised for exposing his daughters to gatherings and /or situations deemed inappropriate by the white middle class of a conservative small town.
            
            So I say without a shadow of a doubt:
            
            Real men cry..and real women are moved by it

            replyreport
            1. 68

               Pearldiverposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               I have Norman roots EK... 'we' the Normans, fought the Anglo Saxons at Hastings and beat them (in 1066) - just before M/Mrs Norman moved to Bumble Town - NZ in a real boat.  They turned around and sailed to Ireland because there was no one home in NZ at the time and their hopes of opening NZs First Fast Food Outlet were dashed when they found the Moa drumsticks were too big and too fast to catch! 
               
               After a few hundred years old M/Mrs Norman, having invented a new bow and arrow, especially designed for Moa hunting, then sailed back to NZ from Ireland, but to their dismay your tribe had taken over the place and eaten all the drumsticks! So yeah EagleKiwi - here's the Waka that old M/Mrs Norman used to get to NZ.
               
               
               
               Who would have thought how much the real history of NZ was ignored for the sake of Fast Food huh?

               replyreport
               1. 75

                  Eaglekiwiposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  You should write childrens books-seriously OR get your friggen writing site set up,where your talents will be properly respected!!
                  
                  I'll join

                  replyreport
10. 67

    Joy56posted 12 years ago

    Hard to understand at times, but i suppose it is because you love them that you try...... Many could not understand why i looked after my dad the way i did, but i have always looked after the elderly and hated it when families did not visit their parents in nursing homes ......
    
      I have lovely memories of the last week with my dad.  He must have known his breathing could not get worse and he wasn't getting much help from his oxygen at this stage.  He was scared at night, though obviously he did not know i knew this, and he woke me up one night, and said come and have a midnight feast with me..... I made the hot drinks and he had biscuits in his drawer.  He talked about his mum, and he said to me..... You will remember this wont you..... The man was dad within a couple of days, and i realised this was the best he could do, making a memory for me, and i accept it ...... He was a brave man.

    replyreport
11. 86

    rebekahELLEposted 12 years ago

    Beautiful imagery and romantic expressions. I'm a huge PD fan.

    replyreport
    1. 68

       Pearldiverposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Oh thanks rebekah - glad you liked this poem and hope you had a great day.

       replyreport
12. 60

    SomewayOuttaHereposted 12 years ago

    you're a sweet one PD...i'm late...happy valentine's day to you too!

    replyreport
    1. 68

       Pearldiverposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Hi Someway.. thanks for that... I hope you had a great day ML

       replyreport