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is this a good poem for my wife ?

  1. profile image49
    sly1419posted 8 years ago

    The one I love is so far away
    Wishing I was there to play
    To hold her tight on a rainy day
    The one I love is so far away

    The one I love is alone tonight
    Holding her bear so tight
    She prays with all are might
    She could be on my right
    The one I love is alone tonight

    The one I love will be here to stay
    All I can do is simply pray
    For May 16th our wedding day
    The one I love is here to stay

    I wrote this tonight and was wanting to know how it was. I am stationed in England and she is in Oklahoma. I am sending her a bear, some flower  and a card just to say I love you. If you think I should make changes then go ahead and repost the change or should I throw out the poem all togather?

  2. Rochelle Frank profile image89
    Rochelle Frankposted 8 years ago

    I think it is lovely and she will be thrilled.

    "For May 16th are wedding day "  change to "our wedding day"




    (... and Congratulations to you both!)

    1. profile image49
      sly1419posted 8 years ago in reply to this

      thank you for your help

  3. AEvans profile image65
    AEvansposted 8 years ago

    Absolutely beautiful and it brought tears to my eyes, she will love it!!! Congratulations
      on your up and coming wedding, many many blessings!!! Thank you for serving our Country!!!smile

  4. jdh351 profile image58
    jdh351posted 8 years ago

    I think it is nice and thank you for your military service.  That's coming from a Marine Corps infantry veteran.  Good luck to you.

 
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