NPD partners: low self-esteem or crazy? What makes us stay?
I stumbled upon your blog. I have read your posts. People on the outside of a relationship with a person with NPD have no idea the hell we go through. It's been over a year since my relationship ended and it hurts the same today as it did then. So, I want to know whether or not your commentors from even two years ago still have pain/grief?
Well if your talking about narcisstic personality disorder, you are in a very unhealthy situation, and being in the relationship really could do you more harm if you stayed, than if you walked away and are grieving over the relationship. I don't know know what you have done to help yourself cope with the situation but of course it takes time to heal, and getting yourself involved with other relationships such as friends, or dating again, or family, it will help you get your mind off focusing on the individual.
NPD is one of the worst disorders to be around, and can mess with your selfesteem, as well as your self worth. It can mess with your mind as they gas light you and make you think you are going out of your mind. They control and manipulate you. It's not a very good place for anyone to be, and really you have to be thankful you are out of the situation and hopefully can heal and learn to be healthier and happier. It's whether you choose to get help, and deal with the reasons why you feel you need to be in a relationship like this. Why you got there in the first place, and how you can avoid staying out of another one. It's really about how much you want to invest in yourself to to live the best life you can. Dwelling on it, keeps your focus there. It is your past, and now you are in the moment. How can you be happy with out this person, and finding your purpose, and self worth. You deserve much better and deserve to be loved, but you have to make the effort to get there.
Pain and grief are necessary to 'get over' what you've been through. If you feel you are having difficulty putting the past behind you and getting on with your life you might want to consider having therapy (which is nothing to be ashamed of, I assure you). In most cases it's usually the victim who has to go to therapy, because the narcissist is not interesting in having therapy because they simply don't care.
I personally came to the conclusion that my life-partner was covertly narcissistic nearly three years ago and the damage caused by my partner is permanent, it can never be undone and I still suffer because of that now.
But life is life, I am me, you are you and anyone who has had to go through this experience deserves a lot better.
Respect is the key to relationship. In order to create a more effective relationship, people should treat each other with respect. We can show respect just by listening to the other party and by trying sincerely to understand how they function. You can also show respect to other parties by confirming that they are doing everything they can.
The opposite of respect is quick forming of judgements based on unfounded facts and prejudice.
Respect is the very foundation for a great relationship. This also means respecting yourself and respecting others.
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