Do you believe that coddling an adult will lead them to become manipulative?

1. 78

   barbergirl28posted 14 years ago

   Do you believe that coddling an adult will lead them to become manipulative?
   
   Do you know a person who likes to be coddled. They have a Whoah is Me attitude and they want you to always feel bad for them. Well, if you coddle them to much, do you feel that they use this to become manipulative? Do you know anybody like this and how do you think coddling them can make them manipulative.

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2. 60

   ShaneMorrisposted 14 years ago

   Ooh, yes I know this all too well. It's strange too because the girl that I have in mind would do that exact thing, especially with me the boyfriend at the time. For example, she worked a somewhat heavy load of house - as did I. Well there were multiple occurrences where if someone had even jokingly called her "lazy" or complained because she couldn't make some non-important party or what-have-you then the girl would flip out a little bit. It was strange because she would want to be, as you said, coddled when she was sad but she wouldn't accept it for too long before a random trip to Walmart that would end up in her driving to some state line and being gone until the early morning, leaving me there. She pulled the Woe-is-Me card alot, but not near as much as my last girlfriend or the one before this girl in reference...actually come to terms with it they all were somethin' else. As far as your last question is concerned, I think that it makes them manipulative because they know that the other said person will buckle and give in - not many guys can continue arguing with a crying girl. Usually I only see any girls do this if they are with a nice guy, someone that wouldn't ever think of hurting them or being abusive because they're upset. I guess my advice for anyone enduring that is just knowing when to put your foot down. Gotta take a hold of the situation before it spirals out of control.

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3. 60

   LegendaryN8posted 14 years ago

   I don't think any adult should be coddled.  If an adult needs to be coddled, then, sadly, that person is not an adult.
   
   There's an expression that goes "worrying is like a rocking chair, it kills the time and gives you something to do, but you don't go anywhere".  Same things goes for self-defeat.

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4. 60

   Jaymye Allenposted 14 years ago

   I think that we all, in some small way, like for people to treat us well and nicely. However, if you do too much for one person then they will come to expect this from you. I don't particularly think it is manipulation so much as it is a Pavlovian reaction; if I go to this person, they will treat me this way. If you are always on the giving/listening end, you will remain on that end. The best advise I can give would be to try talking with the person and explain how one-way the relationship has become. And if that doesn't work, walk away; nobody needs a "friend" who is too needy. I hope this helps.

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