Did your parents use more criticism than praise or more praise than criticism in regards to
raising you and how their childrearing methodology affected you for better or for worse?
They used more criticism than praise for all of us. I think it negatively affected my relationship with them. I don't love my parents as much as other people do. At best I'm partially concerned with them, other than that I'm indifferent to them.
Criticism was by far the most prevalent and its effects are long-lasting. While there is a place for criticism at appropriate times; positive reinforcement does a lot more for self-esteem. My parents were either indifferent or complaining and I don't remember my childhood with them with any sort of fondness.
My grandparents were the opposite. I felt unconditional love from them and even when I was misbehaving; I didn't feel I was being judged unfairly. Big difference. I was lucky to have them in my life for 14 years to counterbalance the negativity and screaming I endured at the hands of my father.
To this day I have a pretty harsh inner critic at times and I think it's due to that conditioning of being called "stupid" "ugly" "bad" and screamed at for every tiny infraction. Thankfully, I studied a lot and learned a lot about how to "rework" the subconscious and control one's thoughts through meditation and other means. It helped undo most of the damage, but some effects still linger.
I was extremely lucky to have the parents that I have. Even though I was the youngest of four children and didn't get much one on one time until I was older, they still gave us children unconditional love and praise. Don't get me wrong, when I did something wrong, they let me know about it, but they used reason, not harsh words to correct me.
Most people don't believe me when I say that I never once saw my parents arguing, but it is true. They are still going strong and recently celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. Even in their 70's they still hold hands and kiss in public.
by Bena 5 years ago
What do you when your personality is very deeply affected, because your ex-boyfriend used to tell you that you're not so good looking, and you're short and immature and that he could get almost anybody but sticked out for you. When you feel low and extremely insecure and frustrated, what do you do...
by Jonas Rodrigo 2 years ago
What do you think of people who aren't very close to their parents?No hate or anything; it's just that we're indifferent to each other.
by MazioCreate 7 years ago
Has parenting -good, bad or indifferent- contributed to the current behaviour in England?
by justmyopiniontoo 7 years ago
Do we want an honest comment/ criticism on our hubs or are we just looking for praise?
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