Which birth order do you feel THE MOST COMFORTABLE around? Which birth order do you FEEL CONTENTION towards? Which birth order are you in COMPETITION with?
Makes zero difference to me - outside of my own siblings and descendants I seldom know what order people were born in.
As the fourth of five siblings whose interest has always been to understand life the age of other children never meant much to me, my interest was almost how logical and sensible was what they were say. I generally hung around other children only when I wanted to play, when I as hungry for knowledge I would usually seek out people who appeared to have wisdom that satisfied my thirst for understanding life. I enjoyed being around older people who had or thought they had tidbits of wisdom.
My education came not from classrooms. In the seventh grade questioned my math teacher's teaching every number added to their negative counterpart equals zero but every number is whole be they positive or negative. A whole, I reasoned, is neither positive nor negative so zero is the only number, so people who accepted what they were taught without questioning it no matter who the teacher was, and my mother was a schoolteacher, I didn't care to be around except for games.
I can honestly say that I have never taken birth order into consideration in my dealings with anyone.
I know someone who is the oldest in her family. She only loved & respected other oldest children. However, she had "friends" who were youngest children because she wanted to dominate them. She totally disrespected anyone who wasn't the oldest child. She thought youngest children were spoilt & attention seeking. She felt that all youngest children were immature & had it easy.
She also had problems w/authority figures at her job. She felt that she knew it all. She couldn't interface well w/others unless to dominate them. People distanced themselves from her as they considered her to be haughty. Even her siblings disliked her & her husband who was an only child barely tolerated her. He told her that no one else would put up w/her except for him. She claimed that she was the smartest person around & that no one else knew as much as she did.
Hi, GM, this "someone" is not right in all she is into as regarding aging. I also think like her husband who only tolerate her.
The fact is the older you are, learn to listen to the younger ones also. I do and am still doing at 60 plus. We are here all to learn. Older people have not all the answers.
Grace, this type of thought seems to be a constant for you. I agree with Wilderness, and others, that "birth order" has never been a thought that occurred to me. So your premise is an alien thought.
I can only surmise that because these type of thoughts dominate your topics. you are looking for validation of your own perceptions. I don't think you will find it.
Life is simply a matter of everyday living for most folks. If you have achieved a level of comfort and security that allows you to focus on issues such as this, then I would ask why such issues as your topics are so important to you.
Are you insecure in your own birth status? Are you envious of large families? Or are you looking for validation regarding your own situation of life security? Are you gloating that you 'made it'?
Seriously asked Grace; What drives you to ask or promulgate such topic questions?
Mr. Anderson, so glad you asked me this question. I am so happy to respond in kind. I ask birth order questions to pick people's brain. I LOVE PICKING PEOPLE'S BRAINS. I NEVER ASK QUESTIONS FOR VALIDATION. I DON'T NEED VALIDATION FROM OTHERS-ONLY CHILDREN DO THIS. I AM QUITE COMFORTABLE W/MY OPINION. I VALIDATE MYSELF. I love hearing others' opinions on birth order & how it influenced them for better or...…..worse. I have always been interested in birth order since college!
I am happy w/my birth order status. I wouldn't trade it for the world. In fact, I feel sorry for oldest children. Oldest children have it tough. Oldest children have complained to me the hell they are enduring. I never met a happy oldest child. Typically, they are morose & are quite envious of their younger siblings. One time at Barnes & Nobles, I listened to an oldest child of seven(she was an adult) complain about her life.
My mother was the oldest of ten & she had it very tough. Oldest children particularly those from large/very large families have conditions comparable to enslaved people & forced laborers. In fact, enslaved people & forced laborers had it easier than oldest children in large/very large families. My mother & aunt envied their younger siblings for they had it MUCH EASIER than they did. As an only child, I am blessed & never envied anyone. In fact, people I encountered envied my only child status. I can say that I had a BLESSED life as far!
I am against large/very large families. In fact, I am an advocate of 1-2 child families. I am for small families because children in such families have myriad opportunities to develop themselves. I am not looking for validation at all. I KNOW THAT I AM RIGHT REGARDING BIRTH ORDER SCENARIOS by studying birth orders & observing birth order dynamics from extended family members, friends, & associates. I feel that only children have it the best. As an only child, I was loved & given myriad opportunities. My mother & my oldest aunt caught hell from being the oldest daughters in a very large family. I wouldn't wish large/very large families on my worst, most despicable enemy. Large/very large families are cesspools of abuse. No right-minded nor intelligent person would have large/very large families. I am a staunch advocate of Planned Parenthood & SMALL, even VERY SMALL families. I view large/very large families as a sign of irresponsibility, even psychosis.
Regarding birth order, I have studied birth order from college days formally. Informally, I have observed birth order from childhood. Oldest children are screwed & get the shaft, particularly if they are in large/very large families. Forget about middle children, they aren't there. Youngest children get all of the shine. Wouldn't want to be these birth orders. Only children have it made. Every time I encounter an oldest child, I want to cry. They are overburdened unless they are one of two children. Middle children don't know where they stand & youngest are spoilt brats. I find the study of birth orders fascinating.
To answer my question: I feel the most comfortable in associating w/other only or oldest children from small families. I find youngest children, on average, to be quite trying & bratty- want to slap them verbally. Middle children need hugs & a dose of security because they were...….IGNORED, OH WELL...…….
As a child, friends from large/very large families came to my house to escape from their hellish environments. They hated being in their families. They LOVED my house & visited as often as possible. My mother & aunt also hated being in a very large family. My mother escaped-she went to boarding school & college, never looking back. My oldest aunt bore the brunt being mother to siblings.
Children from large/very large families endure hellish conditions-they have to raise themselves & each other, they are feral because they weren't exposed to culture, they have to do without-they live a primitive, animal existence. I wouldn't want that for any child. I always donated clothes & toys to children from large/very large families, friends & cousins. Children from large/very large families are impoverished & end up that way. They are also the least educated while children from small families are the most educated.
I despise large/very large families for the aforementioned reasons. In large/very large families, there is either very little or no parenting. I have observed this in large/very large families from childhood from my extended family members. Large/very large families are abnormal, even aberrant. There is no family in large/very large families as there is in small families where there is a strong cohesion between parents & children. I am glad to be from a small family where my parents are there for me & I for them. Children in large/very large families don't experience this at all- they don't have normal parent-child relationships.
If I had my way, families would be limited to 1-2, maybe 3 children. I feel that the 1-child family is THE IDEAL family. In such families, children are given individualized attention; they don't have to vie w/siblings for parental love, attention, & resources; there isn't any favoritism; such children will never be replaced by succedent siblings; and they will have socioeconomic & educational opportunities that children w/siblings won't even have! I am an UNAPOLOGETIC only child.
Hello, GM, the idea od one family or fewer two or three is good indeed. But you do not consider the grave disadvantageof just "one" child. My father is the only child of his parents, but when his dad pass away to the great beyond, his mother can not support his education though she came from a small 'TWO" family!
What should happen if the only child died when th parents are old? InChina, you are allow one child courtesy of the government. So, you look for a male child, and when a female opens he wonb, you murder her. Is that right?
In my country Nigeria, the government set four, and you can add beyound your fondest dreams. I have six children, no problem. My late father fathered seven, and before he pass away, I carried the burden of educating four of my siblins, no problem. I am the first born. Thank you,and enjoy the day.
Good God man, there is NO DISADVANTAGE in having one child. That is prejudicial, primitive thinking. Only children have associates whether it is friends, cousins, etc. Siblings don't make a person! In fact, siblings can be backstabbing, envious, jealous, & be quite contrary. If one is the oldest, siblings can be an onerous burden, especially the lazier ones who expect to be supported! Children don't need siblings to thrive- that is so medieval. The only child population is rising. Siblings are hopefully becoming passe.
Hi, GM, you fail to touch the issue of an only child passing away before the parent's demise. You should come upon that also, whether it is primitive or caveman thinking. I agreed the only child population is rising. The many child populations likewise rise.
In some families with large children, all were well catered for like mine. No problem. Many thanks.
I can add one small data point to your study of the matter Grace. As the oldest of four, I have never felt the way your other friends speak of.
According to sociologists, 4 children constitutes a MEDIUM SIZED family. A large family constitutes 6 children or more per household. A very large family constitutes 8-up children per household. The large family I am talking about consists of upwards of SIX kids. My mother came from TEN kids. I had a friend who came from NINETEEN or TWENTY kids, I have since lost count. Four kids isn't considered a large family at all.
With four children, there is still a parental span of control. Four children are manageable for parents to raise; however, with six or more children, parents can't effectively handle a large number of children- it is a human impossibility. Take for instance, the Duggars & other megafamilies. Children in such families raise themselves &/or each other. In large/very large families, it is the oldest children who are THE TRUE parents. Parents of large/very large families don't play a part in raising their children at all.
It is always a pleasure discussing things with you Mr. Anderson. I shall now go to bed. I am keeping vampire hours.
Hello, gm, my mother came from two and she is the first; and my father from one, the only child. Your mother from ten and your friends from twenty. You Europeans are not more cavely than most Nigerians.
In the old days, a man can fathrer above 20 children from one woman,till she ceased bearing. Food is plentyful. The man's junior or senior sisters can get additional wives for him and he can fathered more than 50 children. Not a cave man really! But a good modest and industrious man.
Yam is one of our staple diet. Tthree or more rooms 30 foot by 30 foot, and 50 foot high full of yams. Fish and games being abundant in the rivers and bush. Not cafe men really.Cave people are found in the Americans.
The one man one child being advocate by sociologists nowadays are backward and insane. I put the issue before my wife few minutes ago. She said you people are backward thinking folks.
Large family is idea, provide the bread winner is industrious, and he shiold be. Many thanks.
Yes, I am comfortable w/my life socioeconomically. I feel that people have to look to themselves & not the government to make their lives comfortable. No one is going to make one's life comfortable except for oneself. I refuse to blame society for my ills or problems. That would be the height of immaturity & irresponsibility. The government isn't about to nor should it look out for people- they have to do it themselves. Nice talking to you, Mr. Anderson. I will return to look at my videos, SWIMMING IN AUSCHWITZ & AFTER AUSCHWITZ. I am also a World War II buff. I am interested in psychology, sociology, & history. I love to study & observe people. I feel that birth order has PLENTY to do w/personality.
The only people who will have large/very large families will be retrogressive people who more likely are less intelligent, educated & poor. Intelligent, educated, & forward thinking people will have small families. Furthermore, as nations become more affluent, people will be opting for small families. Large/very large families are going by the way of the dinosaur & dodo bird. In a few decades, large/very large families & its dysfunctional ilk will become extinct, THANK GOD!
In my immediate family which is large, we are well educated, not "less intelligent,educated, and poor," as you claim. This could not hold for alllarge fmilies. The one family youare advocating can fall within the les intelligent, educated,and poor mentality. By educated, I do not just mean orthodox education. It is from the inside. We attend the best school and universities. Thank you.
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