Even though parents profess that they "love" all their children equally, there are those who are parental favorites- the golden child, the exalted one who are loved more & treated more preferentially than the other children in the family. Conversely, there are children who are disfavored-the weird child, the outside child who are loved less & treated more harshly than the other children in the family. Parents do have their favorites & disfavored among their children. Your thoughts?
I was my Dad's favorite and by my Mom, I was the least favorite of 3 kids. You see, equal.
My thoughts are these:
Back in the olden days, (like 1920's and 30's-50's ?) Hospital births involved babies being taken away from the mother, wrapped up and put in a crib to sleep alone. The baby was taken care of by the nurses on staff who would bring the baby to the mother, (also alone) for feedings only. The mother was in the hospital for about two weeks. The father was not allowed to be near his child. The most he could do was hand out cigars from outside the hospital nursery window. It's possible that bonding was minimal in the early days of both the parents and the baby, affecting both the parents and child.
In a more natural approach where the mother and father are intimately involved from the very beginning, the bonding is strong enough to last a lifetime and guarantees unconditional love. These babies will be loved very much, no matter what. It is also possible that the child will never exhibit such negative traits, as to be disfavored and treated harshly.
Yes, in multi-child families, there is a MARKED DISPARITY in the treatment of children. Every parents know this although they are loathe to acknowledge it. Oldest & middle children in families are the MOST DISFAVORED while youngest children are ALWAYS FAVORED. No child who grew up in multi-child families are treated/loved equally.
Any time that there is more than one child in the family, favoritism/disfavor is going to OCCUR. There is NO ESCAPING that fact. The larger the family, the higher percentage of favoritism/disfavor. There may be equality in treatment in two child families; however, in LARGER families of four or more children, favoritism/disfavor is RIFE.
Parents have THEIR favorites & those who they disfavor. They don't love nor treat their children equally. They have who they prefer & dote on & those whom they can merely tolerate. That is life in multi-child families. Only a small percentage of enlightened, evolved parents love/treat all their children equally. Favoritism is commonplace in all multi-child households.
In some American Indian tribes the practice was to separate births by six years. This would give each child enough time and attention for all it's needs. Perhaps this spacing is the key:
Give the child early bonding and the full-time attention it needs for the first six years of its life.
by Grace Marguerite Williams 11 years ago
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