SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR A CHANGE

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   gmwilliamsposted 3 years ago

   
   Parenting styles in America has changed over the century, even decades?  Parenting styles have metamorphosed from authoritarian to friendly.  How will parenting styles evolve in the future?  Has the more friendly parenting style benefitted children?  Your thoughts?

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   1. 82

      Kathryn L Hillposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Parenting has become authoritative again.
      
      Just today, I observed this little scene: A mother and her son were on their way to school. Suddenly the young boy stopped and began hopping up and down, swinging his arms every which way ... he seemed so contained in his small frame, determined to stop the journey.
      
      His mother continued onward, increasing her speed. It looked like she was leaving her little child behind, but she knew full well he would run like the wind to catch up with her at some point. I anxiously watched as he hopped and swayed in his spot.
           As she turned right, almost disappearing from his sight, he finally started running like the wind. He had to cross a stream of water flowing in the street, gutter to gutter. He gleefully hopped over the water and a startled crow flew into the air. After the boy's successful leap across the stream, I saw him glance back ... with an impulse to play in the stream? to explore what was beneath the surface? to watch the debris it transported? But then, his thin frame stiffened upright and his legs carried him across the asphalt toward his mother
      ... whose only concern was to get him to his classroom and the waiting computers.

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      1. 84

         gmwilliamsposted 3 years agoin reply to this

         There is a difference between authoritative & authoritarian.  Authoritative parents assert their parenting but they are open to the feelings of their children.  Authoritative parents let their children have input but they establish boundaries.  Authoritarian parents believe in the dictum of MY WAY, NO WAY-they don't consider the feelings/opinions of their children.  To the authoritarian parents, their children are just cogs to mold, they aren't individuals.

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   2. 80

      Kyler J Falkposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Having only been considered by the law to be an adult for the past 9 years, I can accurately say that I did not experience the friendly parenting style, nor do I know what that would even mean. I experienced verbal, physical, and emotional abuse that was said by the perpetrators to be, "in my best interests," and even the law disagrees with their take on their actions. Many of my friends experienced this same treatment, as well as acquaintances, and many strangers from my generation can be included.
      
      You'll have to provide more context to what you're saying so that it may be accurately weighed in on, or at least we can form educated opinions.

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      1. 84

         gmwilliamsposted 3 years agoin reply to this

         In the early part of the century up until the 1950s, parenting was authoritarian for the most part.  Children were to obey & subscribe to the parental dictum.   Parents weren't friends of children for the most part.  Parenting was an exercise in power.   However, in the 1950s, parenting styles somewhat relaxed.  Parents were more interactive w/their children.   Then Dr. Benjamin Spock advocated more permissive parenting a/k/a democratic parenting.   
         
         In the 1960s, parenting became more permissive.   However, there were some pockets where there was more authoritarian or strict parenting, especially among some sociocultural groups.  Also less educated parents employed a harsher parenting method than their more educated counterparts. 
         
         Kyler, you stated that you are 27 years old.  What was your background?  What was the extent of your parents' education?   Oh yes, I have omitted one important competent-family size.  Family size has a large influence on parenting styles.  Parents of large families tend to be stricter & more authoritarian than parents of small families who are more friendly & interactive.   Kyler, did you come from a large or small family?   
         
         Socioeconomic backgrounds furthermore play a huge part in parenting styles.   More affluent parents, on average, are more interactive & less abusive than less affluent parents.

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         1. 80

            Kyler J Falkposted 3 years agoin reply to this

            Upper-middle class (rich by uneducated standards, six-figure), competitive education with at least a master's degree for every one of my parents/grandparents, and two much younger brothers than me. If you count the step family, large family, but a small family if we only count the blood family I saw semi-regularly.

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