ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Fact not Fiction, Dan Quinn style: Dan's connection to the Vagos Motorcycle Club

Updated on July 5, 2013
The Vago Motorcycle Club
The Vago Motorcycle Club | Source
Yeah, what?
Yeah, what? | Source
Taking a long sh*t
Taking a long sh*t | Source

Settling the score

This DQ vid transports us (yet again) to a public bathroom. This time it's a restroom at Starbucks. Here we find Dan gripping a sandwich and attempting to woo "Tara Chow," one of Dan's Adult Friend Finder chatroom sweethearts.

"I love the... timber of your voice."

After the shoutout to his girl, Dan rolls into a tornado of chest thumps, weird complements and threats against some Vago big wig named Crazy Joe.

The special part of this video that makes it a DQ vid for the ages, though, begins about 45 seconds in, when some wack-ass fool who probably needs to squirt out his tall half-skinny half-1 percent extra hot split quad shot latte with whip makes the mistake of trying to step onto the set right in the middle of the shoot.

"Yeah? What! I'm busy!"

15 seconds later the intruder knocks again.


Then Dan turns back to the camera and says,

"Um, I mean... how many f***ing times?"

9 minutes later:



Dan stares at the door like he can't even believe the nerve of the guy on the other side.

"Busy! Be out in a second. Taking a long sh*t."

The interruptions that break up Dan's epic Gettysburg address to Crazy Joe at just the right moments make this vid golden.

But what the hell is he even talking about?

A deadly group of meth peddlers

The Vagos are a west coast motorcycle gang that came into being at the end of WWII. Initially they were made up of white military biscuit-headed WWII veterans of the Rambo variety whose war experiences pushed them off the rocker and toward the fringe of society, but over the years more and more latinos joined in the fray. The group eventually split along racial lines. Now there are two Vago groups: white Vagos and latino Vagos. Both groups are involved in a number of illegal activities, including the transport and distribution of meth.

Dan seems to have some beef (and some wienerschnitzel) with one of their leaders.

"Uh, it's like this dude. I've come with food every time I've come over. Don't I do it like that? I brought that chicken, that cheese, all that sh*t? Yeah. I was actually in line at Der Wienerschnitzel, playboy."

Apparently Crazy Joe has cancer, and Dan has been trying to heal a brotha's tumor up with stevia...

"Let's see. You owe me about $50 for that pound of stevia that you f*ckd off and didn't put in that decrepit old f*cking body that's going to be dead in a year because you want to listen to the doctors, and not to me."

Dan goes on and on like that. Basically, it's a meth-induced torrent of verbal jabs and locker room ass-slaps directed at Crazy Joe. Here are some of the best lines:

"Put it like this, dude. Joe. You couldn't put a dent in me with anything other than a knife. A gun. A sword. As a matter of fact, if we were in a level 4 prison yard, okay?"

Dan squints his eyes and slows his roll.

"I would maybe have been forced to end your life, the way you talk to me. Okay? And you think you can get away with it? Nuh-uh, son."

In the next breath:

"You know what? You are a worthy motherf*cker. Okay? You're a good dad. Could be better in some things."

"You're frail, homie. You could punch and punch and punch and punch on me and all you would do is hurt your hands."

"I'm a savage white boy that, in football, was blacker than any black f*cking linebacker and shit. See the play, my nigga."

Dan thinks that he is qualified to say "the N word" because he's a black man trapped in a white body. Dan validates his inner blackness by repeatedly showing off how he once tackled Raiders running back Tim Brown.

Enter: THE PLAY.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)