ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Fact not fiction, Dan Quinn style: DQ flosses his famous "jets" in a Walmart parking lot

Updated on July 5, 2013

"Do I look slow? How do I look, dog?"

"You look like.... you got some movement there, man."

"No, I mean do I look- I mean, tell me!"

"No, I mean you look like y-you... doing good!"

Fact not fiction
Fact not fiction | Source
Jets
Jets | Source

Stevia induced longevity

One of DQ's favorite things to say is that he could easily stroll into an NFL training camp and make the team, even though he's in his mid 40s and hasn't played football since his 20s. Dan sincerely believes with all of his heart that, thanks to Stevia and weed, his athletic abilities are actually better than they were when he was young.

"I-I'm serious dog. Th-the more? I've done... okay? I've done the best... I mean I've done some of the best goddamn methamphetamine that is known to man, homie. You know? A-and I'm telling you right now that... massive amounts of stevia? And weed together. I'm getting that same feeling right now, man. Fact not fiction."

In these two vids (which contain arguably some of the funniest situational comedy in all of Dan's YouTube history) Dan heads out to the Walmart and then, in a follow-up vid, heads out to an actual race track to prove that he still has the same jets that allowed him to tackle Tim Brown back in the day.

The first one is hilarious right away, just because of the Walmart setting.

"Where are you going to, uh, run this?"

"Out in front of Walmart. Why not?"

DQ takes off and lopes down the parking lot, forcing the camera man to chuckle audibly.

"Do I look slow? How do I look, dog?"

"You look like.... you got some movement there, man."

"No, I mean do I look- I mean, tell me!"

"No, I mean you look like y-you... doing good!"

That wasn't the type of reaction Dan was hoping for. Seeking validation, Dan runs off down the parking lot again. Perhaps Dan's also running away from his current lot in life, towards the stevia dream. At the end of the lot, Dan asks an innocent shopper if he looks fast or not, running around in the Walmart parking lot. The response is inaudible.

Source
Norma Jean
Norma Jean | Source

Jets on the racetrack

Apparently, Dan wasn't happy with the Walmart footage of his jets. In the next vid, Dan takes his cameraman to an actual racetrack. The video (which, like the first video, was recorded and produced not by DQ but by Fightwear 5150) opens with some rap music. The next thing we see is a 45 year old Dan Quinn loping across the track again. His hat is twisted around backwards. He's shirtless. He's fully blazed on weed and stevia.

After the run, Dan kicks it with Norma Jean for a hot second. Norma Jean is cool. She gives Dan the reassurance that he was looking for.

"Y-yeah. You fast."

Dan hears those words and melts. High off of stevia, weed and validation Dan's feeling like a rock star. On the other side of the bleachers, Norma is getting creeped out. She starts sliding off... but Dan keeps following her. Conversating. Big pimping.

Source

Dan switches on The Jets at a racetrack and gets validated by Norma Jean

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)