Fact not fiction, Dan Quinn style: a real life conspiracy involving Dan, TMZ and UFC prez Dana White
The Villanova Voice and the English Voice
In the summer of 2012, Dan began hearing voices. He gave them nicknames: the English Voice and the Villanova Voice. The "cool" English Voice. The voices called his phone constantly, and Dan started making extended YouTubes of himself talking to them.
"I told you to quit f*cking calling me b*tch. You know what? If I see you in public and I hear your voice? I am going to confirm who you are, and then I am going to attack you. I am going to destroy you. I am going to knock you out either with my fist or I'll choke you out. And then I'm going to-- either-- I-- I might kill you if I put your mouth on a curb? And kick the back of your head. But, I'm going to f*ck you up and then you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to duck tape you and I'm going to drive you to the foothills and I'm going to sell your ass to the illegal aliens and you're going to make me a lot of money. I'm going to f*cking turn you into a gay hooker, I am going to f*ck you up."
DQ vs. the V.V. (Villanova Voice)
The Voices Era
The period of post Golden Age Dan history known as "the Voices Era" is a mixed bag. When he's at the top of his game, Dan's got "Shut Up, Little Man!" level chops when it comes to insults and profanity. When they're good, the V.V. and E.V. vids are hilarious, but some of them are boring and seem to drag on and on, 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 40 minutes long and veer off into babbling infinity.
Many of these transactions are still live on Dan Quinn's real YouTube site (he also has an older one called "DanQuinn41") but his followers have copied the best stuff to the DQ mirror accounts JesusTouchedMe69, DanQuinnSteviaFan and others.
Dan seems to have recorded all of his V.V. / E.V. conversations so that he could later use the evidence to sue whoever they were and (of course) $cash$ in.
Villanova Voice vs. the English Voice vs. the "Cool" English Voice
Of the two voices, the V.V. seems to have had the most personal grudge against Dan. V.V. would work Dan up by calling him a scumbag, loser, etc. The E.V. on the other hand, tried to get in Dan's head by saying things that might play into his paranoid tendencies. E.V. (who claimed, among other things, that he was in contact with the Illuminati) made threats against Dan and his family and warned him to stop talking about stevia. Sometimes, though, the E.V. would say encouraging things. When E.V. was encouraging Dan, Dan assumed that the voice was a whole different person. When the voice was friendly he called it the "cool" E.V.
The consensus among DQ followers was that the voices were Internet trolls of the "try hard" variety, calling in to appear on Dan Quinn vids and mess with his mind.
DQ vs. the E.V. (English Voice)
Dan Quinn's mug gets plastered all over the front page of TMZ
Things took a turn for the truly bizarre in May of 2012 when the Stevia Nation found Dan's biscuit plastered all over the front page of TMZ. The story: Quinn was under investigation for leaving death threats on UFC president Dana White's answering machine.
Longtime Dan Quinn followers were largely amused by all the hype, but there was some confusion too because the story didn't quite make sense. For one thing, anyone could instantly tell that it wasn't really Dan's voice on the answering machine.
The most obvious problem was that Dan's contrived, 90s hip-hop influenced "black-man-in-a-white-man's-body" articulation didn't resemble in any way, shape or form the guy with the british/scottish accent on the recording. What's more, Dan never whispers or speaks in hushed tones. Ever. Pretty much everything he says is a yell. If Dan was going to threaten someone, he'd most likely do it at the top of his lungs while taking his shirt off in front of a webcam for the ladies.
The motives didn't jive, either. Dan likes to talk smack to his opponents (real, imagined or contrived) all the time on YouTube. Most of the time Dan says stuff like "I'm going to f*ck you up legally" etc., but sometimes he crosses the line and lets a death threat slip out... but the targets aren't UFC people. Dan's never fought in the UFC league; he's a MMA fighter. So why would he threaten the UFC president?
Fightwear 5150 covered the controversy over the span of several videos, and Dan told his side of the story.
"That's not me," Dan says.
(You can practically see the "cha-ching!" of a cash register in Dan's mind, as he grins and eyes the computer screen.)
[Fightwear 5150, off camera] "It doesn't sound like you."
The Fightwear 5150 guy seems to want to smooth things out between Dan and UFC before more trouble ensues, but Dan keeps trying to push the conversation toward how he intends to profit from the controversy.
Dan, with his bluetooth device dangling from his ear, repeatedly thanks Dana White and UFC for the free publicity. He also thanks TMZ for jumping on the story and running with it.
Tabloids and big gossip-oriented entities like TMZ set aside money to pay off the people they slander. It's a part of their actual business plan. In the wake of the controversy, Dan was determined to grab a chunk of that cash for himself.
Fightwear 5150 covers the TMZ scandal
The aftermath of the TMZ controversy
For a while, nobody knew what was going to happen. Would DQ be locked up for something he really didn't do? And what about the voice on Dana White's answering machine-- who was that guy? And what was the point of the frame job? It seemed like a dangerous way to play a prank on Dan, since whoever did that would likely face serious charges (felonies, probably) if caught. Maybe UFC execs were behind it all, and they were purposely trying to stir up controversy to get some free publicity. Or, maybe this was just some Internet nerd trying to troll Dan back into the slammer again... and deprive everyone of DQ entertainment in the process.
Everyone was wondering what would happen next.
Did the English Voice or the Villanova Voice have something to do with all this? Would the stevia movement die out, or would Dan's crazy vids go viral? Might Oprah come out of retirement to do one final interview to straighten it all out? If so, would she be willing to give Dan a conjugal visit afterwards? Would Dan become the next Stedman Graham?
As it turned out, Dan didn't go to prison. Well, at least not for for this particular incident, anyway. Dan couldn't get a lawyer. And Oprah never came through. Everything pretty much blew over and the "stevia movement" remained a strictly underground phenomenon.
And yet another multimillion dollar opportunity slipped through Dan's fists.