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Farting in public.

  1. sooner than later profile image56
    sooner than laterposted 7 years ago

    some people just can't help it, some people just don't care. I'm 53 now- and I would like to think that I am more mature than I am.
    Today my wife and I grabbed lunch at my favorite chinese place and the guy in the next booth behind my wife farted so loud that it startled her. haha- I watched her jump. Many thoughts ran through my head(discust for one)- but I started laughing out loud uncontrolably and the guy was ticked off.

    We moved, he glared- really awkward from the fist trumpet.

    if anyone has that problem, I think its best to laugh it off.

    What do you think?

    1. Eaglekiwi profile image76
      Eaglekiwiposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I think the guy deserved an oscar for having the nerve to be offended by your laughter ? lol , did he think he was the brass section booked to entertain the diners or something...

      lol lol nasty and yea I would have laughed out loud too!

    2. Mrs.Nita profile image61
      Mrs.Nitaposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Honestly I know everyone passes gas, but it's still repulsive.  The worst is having someone pass gas while I'm eating.  That is so nasty....

    3. cheaptrick profile image76
      cheaptrickposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Farting requires laughter cause its the only humor that comes directly from God...disagree?Consider this,God designed us,he/she could have made Methane elimination an unnoticeable thing that escaped through the ears or nose but No,he/she picked the butt knowing full well what the result would be.Religion could use more Levity(pardon the pun)so I believe there should be time set aside in every sermon for the congregation to enjoy a group Fart to lighten(another pun)the mood!further more,there should be a standard rateing system so a persons hard work in producing the fart is appreciated...I'm just saying...

    4. Don W profile image82
      Don Wposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      lol lol Well I would have done the decent thing like Larry from curb your enthusiasm when he tried to help out the chef with tourettes.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsRJYPr1Dnw

      You could have created a symphony. Would have been a thing of beauty.

      1. Stimp profile image74
        Stimpposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        OMG......I love that show.

    5. rhamson profile image76
      rhamsonposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I tend to release the SBD's in public only for the anonymity and to keep people guessing.  But in private I don't make such a fuss to hide them.  Maybe a stink.

  2. caravalhophoto profile image59
    caravalhophotoposted 7 years ago

    I'm not going to lie, sometimes a fart is the only cure.

  3. sooner than later profile image56
    sooner than laterposted 7 years ago

    how do YOU spell 'relief'

  4. Uninvited Writer profile image83
    Uninvited Writerposted 7 years ago

    It is hard to hold them in sometimes. I would have laughed myself smile If I heard it that is, not if I was the fartee big_smile

  5. sooner than later profile image56
    sooner than laterposted 7 years ago

    I know its a dumb subject. I just wish I had the part where she jumped on film. To have a fart loud and startling enough to make somebody jump. Is that bragging rights or what?

  6. dave272727 profile image60
    dave272727posted 7 years ago

    George Carlin had a stand up routine involving this.  He called them test farts....
    Now if I heard something like that, I would have to laugh. If I would have been the one that did it, I think I would have left.

    1. sooner than later profile image56
      sooner than laterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      yeah, i've only seen lary the cable guy's "walking farts" routine. funny as well.

  7. Randy Godwin profile image94
    Randy Godwinposted 7 years ago

    Was it an old fart?

  8. K Partin profile image58
    K Partinposted 7 years ago

    Watch those SBD's "Silent But Deadly" ones....smile

    1. chambersgirl21 profile image56
      chambersgirl21posted 7 years agoin reply to this
      1. chambersgirl21 profile image56
        chambersgirl21posted 7 years agoin reply to this

        smile sounds like you had an anouncement type.

  9. wyanjen profile image83
    wyanjenposted 7 years ago

    Just popped in to say this is not funny.

    Except I'm laughing now.

  10. yoshi97 profile image81
    yoshi97posted 7 years ago

    It's the crop dusters that make me laugh the most ... walking through the mall and acting oblivious to the many offended in their wake. smile

  11. profile image0
    Crazdwriterposted 7 years ago

    HAHA that is funny sooner. I would have been laughing too and if he glared would have said, "Hey yer the one who did it not me." lol I'm mean like that.

  12. drej2522 profile image84
    drej2522posted 7 years ago

    hahaha...awesome thread...one time, a group of my friends stopped at a rest stop and one of them let one go at the vending machines..it was one of those lingering, nasty ones...moments later an old woman with a walker slowly passed right through the terrible wave of horror. Her reaction was priceless and she couldn't escape!

    1. profile image0
      Crazdwriterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      OOOO you guys r mean lol poor old lady!

      1. drej2522 profile image84
        drej2522posted 7 years agoin reply to this

        there was nothing we could do!...the damage was already done!

        1. profile image0
          Crazdwriterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

          Carry air frehsner with ya! lol

        2. prettydarkhorse profile image67
          prettydarkhorseposted 7 years agoin reply to this

          was it with silencer or armalite......

          drej2522 like your new avatar stonehenge

          hmmm

    2. Eaglekiwi profile image76
      Eaglekiwiposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Oh gawd I can visulise that wholes scenerio lollol

      Wonderwhy it makes us laugh so much

      Maybe because as kids it was kind of a little bit naughty, and I guess its just the power of imprinting etc!

      1. drej2522 profile image84
        drej2522posted 7 years agoin reply to this

        I think it's funny to most people, excluding Lita (ahem), because: One - the sound...Two - the awful smell...Three - you never know what you're going to get!...Four - it comes out of the butt!

    3. yoshi97 profile image81
      yoshi97posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Oh! The humanity! smile

  13. NaomiR profile image87
    NaomiRposted 7 years ago

    I would've laughed, too.

  14. profile image0
    Leta Sposted 7 years ago

    This whole thread is just completely inappropriate, wink!

  15. Eaglekiwi profile image76
    Eaglekiwiposted 7 years ago

    I was with my brother once in an elevator and he let onego...silent and ewww disgusting.
    This gorgeous office girl had just stepped in and he looked at her and frowned at her , and the other people thought it was her lol ....she flew outta that eleavtor so fast, and I just had to keep a straight face! cool

    1. profile image0
      Crazdwriterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Wow you have more power over your face thatn i do..I wouldn't have been able to keep a straight face! lol

    2. Dee Dee MonSherie profile image59
      Dee Dee MonSherieposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      How??  Hee hee hee!  How could you??/ Ha haha Ha!  How could you even keep a straight face!!! Ha Ha Ha lol  lol

  16. wyanjen profile image83
    wyanjenposted 7 years ago

    Just popped in again to say this is not funny.

    I can't help laughing though. My brain says, no funny.
    But my body goes ahead and laughs anyway.

    Must be my inner twelve-year-old. tongue

  17. Eaglekiwi profile image76
    Eaglekiwiposted 7 years ago

    OK have ya ever lit one???

    1. profile image0
      Crazdwriterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Nope seen too many scary youtube vidoes of that lol

      1. Eaglekiwi profile image76
        Eaglekiwiposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        Ive seen it ,it was amazing !!!

  18. profile image0
    Crazdwriterposted 7 years ago

    I remember this one time I was walking around outside at night with a group of my girlfriends...my fault becaue I can't sit still for too long. Still that way but not as bad. So as we were walking one let one rip, a LOUD one too. We all started laughing and like two minues after she goes "Damn barking spiders!" HAHA it was funny.

    And yes this coming from a bunhc of girls! lol

    I've also had my husband blame a fart on me a few times out and about...so I do it back to him except I belch really loud and blame him lol I'm a belcher!

  19. yoshi97 profile image81
    yoshi97posted 7 years ago

    I'd really like to see someone do a scientific study on why farts are so funny.

    It you think about it, they're really gross ... and yet we laugh. Is it the embarrassed face of the farter or the pained expression of the fartee that makes us laugh?

    Even an imagined fart can be funny ...

    For instance ... picture three old men on a bench. The one in the middle lets one rip and the two guys on the end fall off the bench. smile

    1. wyanjen profile image83
      wyanjenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      lol lol lol lol
      Yup, I can picture it perfectly...

    2. drej2522 profile image84
      drej2522posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I would laugh if I witnessed that.

  20. Eaglekiwi profile image76
    Eaglekiwiposted 7 years ago

    Yea its a normal body function after all , and everyone does it ,kinda makes us all the same huh smile

    1. Ron Montgomery profile image60
      Ron Montgomeryposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I don't.  A real man can hold his gas.

      1. Eaglekiwi profile image76
        Eaglekiwiposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        Well everyone knows lady farts never smell stinky lol

        1. drej2522 profile image84
          drej2522posted 7 years agoin reply to this

          yes, like roses...pffffffft!

        2. profile image0
          Crazdwriterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

          My mommy always said hers smelt like roses. I beg to differ! lol I nearly died a few times I swear!

        3. Ron Montgomery profile image60
          Ron Montgomeryposted 7 years agoin reply to this

          Hell, women can shoot from both barrels!

      2. yoshi97 profile image81
        yoshi97posted 7 years agoin reply to this

        Bad move man ... containing the gas could rupture the pipes!!!

        1. Ron Montgomery profile image60
          Ron Montgomeryposted 7 years agoin reply to this

          That's an urban legend.  Just concentrate, clench, and let your body re-absorb it.

          1. profile image0
            Crazdwriterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            Oh so you want to kill your insides with a slow gasy death huh? lol

          2. wyanjen profile image83
            wyanjenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            lol
            I'll concentrate on that "re-absorb" concept next time I'm trapped in a long meeting...
            Is it like a Ninja technique? Years of practice and training involved?
            lol

            1. Ron Montgomery profile image60
              Ron Montgomeryposted 7 years agoin reply to this

              Or you can be like a ventriliquist and throw your "voice" to implicate someone else.

              1. wyanjen profile image83
                wyanjenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

                You should put together a weekend workshop. These seem to be some well-versed techniques.
                lol lol

      3. profile image0
        Crazdwriterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        and then let it escape so that it kills the wife and kids! lol

        1. yoshi97 profile image81
          yoshi97posted 7 years agoin reply to this

          Yeah! Nice play Ron! That move will get you on America's Most Wanted! LOL!

          1. profile image0
            Crazdwriterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            lol I can't stop laughing on this one!

  21. Nera Woods profile image84
    Nera Woodsposted 7 years ago

    yes, I would have just laughed with you, like how I'm laughing now.

  22. profile image0
    Crazdwriterposted 7 years ago

    Oh got another good story my hubby was talking to his older brother and best friend. he then stops and goes hey guys I have to show you something. He whips around real fast and farts a huge loud fart. Both his brother and best friend look at him like what, mouths open and everything. OMG! me and my best girlfriend were DYING of laughter. My ribs hurt after that one!

    1. Eaglekiwi profile image76
      Eaglekiwiposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      lol quit it lol

      1. profile image0
        Crazdwriterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        Mwhahahahaha

        Oh another one...my friends and I were walking around the mall, i let one slip and everyone blamed a baby that was carried by. I did my best not to laugh so they knew it had been me lol

  23. Eaglekiwi profile image76
    Eaglekiwiposted 7 years ago

    Farting unites people though ,everyone all over the world laughs about it lol well maybe its a wacky western thing, maybe hubsters will share ..lol

    Your roses smell like ....big_smile

    1. drej2522 profile image84
      drej2522posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      we should start a worldwide fart membership!

      1. wyanjen profile image83
        wyanjenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        It's a language we all understand, no doubt...

        1. drej2522 profile image84
          drej2522posted 7 years agoin reply to this

          Farts United??

  24. profile image0
    Crazdwriterposted 7 years ago

    ooo that would be too much fun, Ron. Throwing your voice and make ppl think it was them. *grins evily*

  25. Randy Godwin profile image94
    Randy Godwinposted 7 years ago

    Cupcake farts are the worst!

  26. sooner than later profile image56
    sooner than laterposted 7 years ago

    I like the farts that sound like a question mark should go at the end.

    ffffhhhmmm?

    1. wyanjen profile image83
      wyanjenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      They peter out, but end with an up-note.

      1. sooner than later profile image56
        sooner than laterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        haha, yeah- you got it.

        1. drej2522 profile image84
          drej2522posted 7 years agoin reply to this

          i think those farts want a response!

        2. wyanjen profile image83
          wyanjenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

          lol

  27. drej2522 profile image84
    drej2522posted 7 years ago

    farts with personality are hilarious

  28. yoshi97 profile image81
    yoshi97posted 7 years ago

    Somebody HAS to write a hub on this - LMAO! smile

    1. profile image0
      Crazdwriterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      All yours yoshi! lol

  29. yoshi97 profile image81
    yoshi97posted 7 years ago

    I'll need a few days to ... um ... do some research. I gotta go walk a mall ... smile

    1. profile image0
      Crazdwriterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      lol you go do that and have fun with it.

      OOOO get one of those little farting machines that they sell at Spencers! that would be fun...saw it on Blue Collar and it was hiliarious!

    2. wyanjen profile image83
      wyanjenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      The HubMob topic does happen to be Men this week...
      Maybe you can make it topical...

      lol

  30. thirdmillenium profile image60
    thirdmilleniumposted 7 years ago

    Have you seen Mel Brook's  Blazing Saddles?History of the World? It has a most hilarious scene wherein a whole lot of cowboys carry out a chain farting session. Must watch it. Go to youtube.
    URL:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6dm9rN6oTs

    1. profile image0
      Crazdwriterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      HAHAHA that one was classic thirdmillenium. Oh that was classic! lol

  31. sooner than later profile image56
    sooner than laterposted 7 years ago

    I always liked this little cherry.

    a piece from dances with wolves.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKjFLUFGkws

  32. profile image0
    Crazdwriterposted 7 years ago

    I haven't seen Dance with Wolves in a long time...I need to get that movie. lol nice fart mention Sooner!

  33. wyanjen profile image83
    wyanjenposted 7 years ago

    People who fart when they sneeze are double hilarious.

    1. yoshi97 profile image81
      yoshi97posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      That ... my good sir ... is what they call a snart ... smile

  34. drej2522 profile image84
    drej2522posted 7 years ago

    how about people who fart when they take a leak?

    1. wyanjen profile image83
      wyanjenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Doesn't that just happen automatically?

      ...or am I some kind of damn freak...

      1. profile image0
        Crazdwriterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        Nope jen yer not a freak happens to me too!

        1. wyanjen profile image83
          wyanjenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

          Phew LOL

        2. drej2522 profile image84
          drej2522posted 7 years agoin reply to this

          hahaha, CW

          1. profile image0
            Crazdwriterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            feel free to tel Cagsil since he is so darn intersted in collecting info about me lol

            1. wyanjen profile image83
              wyanjenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

              did you see denno's new avatar?
              I left him a little present in the deppression forum lol

              1. profile image0
                Crazdwriterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

                Uh oh...what did you say Jen?

                1. wyanjen profile image83
                  wyanjenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

                  He like my new avatar, and he changed his from sheep to cpt kirk
                  So i left him a present. It is a picture of cpt kirk smile

                  1. profile image0
                    Crazdwriterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

                    A picture of cpt. Kirk doing what? or do I even want to know?

  35. profile image0
    Crazdwriterposted 7 years ago

    one of my favorite fart scenes from a movie between Shaggy and SCooby-Doo
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SG5Y3DR_F1k

  36. sooner than later profile image56
    sooner than laterposted 7 years ago

    did anyone ever try door farts where you fart against a door. It magnifies.

    1. profile image0
      Crazdwriterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      No but my best friend wanted me to go downstairs in my parents house to see if I could hear her fart. Seriously yuo could hear it! lol

  37. drej2522 profile image84
    drej2522posted 7 years ago

    has anyone ever tried farting into the phone in a middle of a conversation?

    1. wyanjen profile image83
      wyanjenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      did into a tape recorder when we were kids

    2. profile image0
      Crazdwriterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Hmmm sounds like a convo I had with Yoshi and Anit not too long ago about my husband's butt constantly calling me and Yoshi saying he would call, fart then hang up on ppl. lol

      1. drej2522 profile image84
        drej2522posted 7 years agoin reply to this

        hahaha...awesome!

  38. profile image0
    B.C. BOUTIQUEposted 7 years ago

    it simply happens, its a natural funtion everyones body must do..if its bad, laugh it off or just walk away, many people will deny it, but you know as well as I do everyone fats in public!

  39. shamelabboush profile image66
    shamelabboushposted 7 years ago

    Oh yeah smile

  40. sooner than later profile image56
    sooner than laterposted 7 years ago
    1. profile image0
      Crazdwriterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      i wanna watch them but can't hubby is doing HW sad

  41. profile image0
    Crazdwriterposted 7 years ago

    okay good phew had me worried there for a bit jen lol

    1. wyanjen profile image83
      wyanjenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Naw, the sheep jokes ran out of legs.
      err, leg.

  42. wyanjen profile image83
    wyanjenposted 7 years ago

    yoshi turned me on to this one:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgC_Hz92T9M

    check at 1:27

    1. sooner than later profile image56
      sooner than laterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      ok, i think that was actually really funny. what a goof #1. What timing #2. I wonder if he has seen this?

      1. wyanjen profile image83
        wyanjenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        I was hoping that would not be offensive,,, thanks for sharing a laff with me lol
        There are several versions of that.
        I have to think he is aware...


        ha ha ha

        Have a good night sooner smile

  43. profile image0
    Crazdwriterposted 7 years ago
    1. wyanjen profile image83
      wyanjenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      If you see denno, tell him I left him a present.. I'll be at work tomorrow
      It wont be as funny if he goes back to sheep LOL

      See ya

  44. wyanjen profile image83
    wyanjenposted 7 years ago

    I'm outta here
    Later gaters smile

  45. Ron Montgomery profile image60
    Ron Montgomeryposted 7 years ago

    I'm going to bed now.  I think I'll put my wife in a dutch oven.

    1. wyanjen profile image83
      wyanjenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      ... I've been waiting for that one
      LOL
      my ex used to do that to me... nasty lol

    2. sooner than later profile image56
      sooner than laterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      haha- the hot pocket.

    3. profile image0
      Crazdwriterposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Don't kill her Ron come on...that isn't nice...death by gas from husband's arse lol

  46. sooner than later profile image56
    sooner than laterposted 7 years ago

    night everyone.

    I'm sorry this one went so far.

    1. yoshi97 profile image81
      yoshi97posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Apologize for causing laughter and mirth? I shalt slap thee with an angry sea bass if ya be apologizing for that again. There's enough anger and futility on these forums as of lately. A good hearty laugh is well due for all. smile

  47. sooner than later profile image56
    sooner than laterposted 7 years ago

    it lingered.

  48. profile image0
    Crazdwriterposted 7 years ago

    Come on now, Sooner, you know you aren't sorry for this thread. It made a sick girl, me, feel a lot better! lol

    1. Ron Montgomery profile image60
      Ron Montgomeryposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Ahhh good ol' fart jokes.  Is there anything they can't cure?

  49. yoshi97 profile image81
    yoshi97posted 7 years ago

    I laughed so hard tears were rolling down my cheeks. smile

  50. Ron Montgomery profile image60
    Ron Montgomeryposted 7 years ago

    http://s.bebo.com/app-image/7931696768/5411656627/PROFILE/i.quizzaz.com/img/q/u/08/04/13/south-park3.jpg

 
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