Farting in public.

1. 61

   sooner than laterposted 15 years ago

   some people just can't help it, some people just don't care. I'm 53 now- and I would like to think that I am more mature than I am.
   Today my wife and I grabbed lunch at my favorite chinese place and the guy in the next booth behind my wife farted so loud that it startled her. haha- I watched her jump. Many thoughts ran through my head(discust for one)- but I started laughing out loud uncontrolably and the guy was ticked off.
   
   We moved, he glared- really awkward from the fist trumpet.
   
   if anyone has that problem, I think its best to laugh it off.
   
   What do you think?

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   1. 74

      Eaglekiwiposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I think the guy deserved an oscar for having the nerve to be offended by your laughter ? , did he think he was the brass section booked to entertain the diners or something...
      
      nasty and yea I would have laughed out loud too!

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      Mrs.Nitaposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Honestly I know everyone passes gas, but it's still repulsive.  The worst is having someone pass gas while I'm eating.  That is so nasty....

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      cheaptrickposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Farting requires laughter cause its the only humor that comes directly from God...disagree?Consider this,God designed us,he/she could have made Methane elimination an unnoticeable thing that escaped through the ears or nose but No,he/she picked the butt knowing full well what the result would be.Religion could use more Levity(pardon the pun)so I believe there should be time set aside in every sermon for the congregation to enjoy a group Fart to lighten(another pun)the mood!further more,there should be a standard rateing system so a persons hard work in producing the fart is appreciated...I'm just saying...

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      Don Wposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Well I would have done the decent thing like Larry from curb your enthusiasm when he tried to help out the chef with tourettes.
      
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsRJYPr1Dnw
      
      You could have created a symphony. Would have been a thing of beauty.

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         Stimpposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         OMG......I love that show.

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   5. 71

      rhamsonposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I tend to release the SBD's in public only for the anonymity and to keep people guessing.  But in private I don't make such a fuss to hide them.  Maybe a stink.

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2. 59

   caravalhophotoposted 15 years ago

   I'm not going to lie, sometimes a fart is the only cure.

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3. 61

   sooner than laterposted 15 years ago

   how do YOU spell 'relief'

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4. 77

   Uninvited Writerposted 15 years ago

   It is hard to hold them in sometimes. I would have laughed myself If I heard it that is, not if I was the fartee

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5. 61

   sooner than laterposted 15 years ago

   I know its a dumb subject. I just wish I had the part where she jumped on film. To have a fart loud and startling enough to make somebody jump. Is that bragging rights or what?

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6. 61

   dave272727posted 15 years ago

   George Carlin had a stand up routine involving this.  He called them test farts....
   Now if I heard something like that, I would have to laugh. If I would have been the one that did it, I think I would have left.

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      sooner than laterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      yeah, i've only seen lary the cable guy's "walking farts" routine. funny as well.

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7. 60

   Randy Godwinposted 15 years ago

   Was it an old fart?

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8. 60

   K Partinposted 15 years ago

   Watch those SBD's "Silent But Deadly" ones....

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      chambersgirl21posted 15 years agoin reply to this

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         chambersgirl21posted 15 years agoin reply to this

         sounds like you had an anouncement type.

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9. 68

   wyanjenposted 15 years ago

   Just popped in to say this is not funny.
   
   Except I'm laughing now.

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10. 58

    yoshi97posted 15 years ago

    It's the crop dusters that make me laugh the most ... walking through the mall and acting oblivious to the many offended in their wake.

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11. 0

    Crazdwriterposted 15 years ago

    HAHA that is funny sooner. I would have been laughing too and if he glared would have said, "Hey yer the one who did it not me." I'm mean like that.

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12. 69

    drej2522posted 15 years ago

    hahaha...awesome thread...one time, a group of my friends stopped at a rest stop and one of them let one go at the vending machines..it was one of those lingering, nasty ones...moments later an old woman with a walker slowly passed right through the terrible wave of horror. Her reaction was priceless and she couldn't escape!

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       Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       OOOO you guys r mean poor old lady!

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          drej2522posted 15 years agoin reply to this

          there was nothing we could do!...the damage was already done!

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             Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             Carry air frehsner with ya!

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             prettydarkhorseposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             was it with silencer or armalite......
             
             drej2522 like your new avatar stonehenge
             
             hmmm

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    2. 74

       Eaglekiwiposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Oh gawd I can visulise that wholes scenerio
       
       Wonderwhy it makes us laugh so much
       
       Maybe because as kids it was kind of a little bit naughty, and I guess its just the power of imprinting etc!

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       1. 69

          drej2522posted 15 years agoin reply to this

          I think it's funny to most people, excluding Lita (ahem), because: One - the sound...Two - the awful smell...Three - you never know what you're going to get!...Four - it comes out of the butt!

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    3. 58

       yoshi97posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Oh! The humanity!

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13. 68

    NaomiRposted 15 years ago

    I would've laughed, too.

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14. 0

    Leta Sposted 15 years ago

    This whole thread is just completely inappropriate, !

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15. 74

    Eaglekiwiposted 15 years ago

    I was with my brother once in an elevator and he let onego...silent and ewww disgusting.
    This gorgeous office girl had just stepped in and he looked at her and frowned at her , and the other people thought it was her ....she flew outta that eleavtor so fast, and I just had to keep a straight face!

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       Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Wow you have more power over your face thatn i do..I wouldn't have been able to keep a straight face!

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       Dee Dee MonSherieposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       How??  Hee hee hee!  How could you??/ Ha haha Ha!  How could you even keep a straight face!!! Ha Ha Ha  

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16. 68

    wyanjenposted 15 years ago

    Just popped in again to say this is not funny.
    
    I can't help laughing though. My brain says, no funny.
    But my body goes ahead and laughs anyway.
    
    Must be my inner twelve-year-old.

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17. 74

    Eaglekiwiposted 15 years ago

    OK have ya ever lit one???

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       Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Nope seen too many scary youtube vidoes of that

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       1. 74

          Eaglekiwiposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Ive seen it ,it was amazing !!!

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18. 0

    Crazdwriterposted 15 years ago

    I remember this one time I was walking around outside at night with a group of my girlfriends...my fault becaue I can't sit still for too long. Still that way but not as bad. So as we were walking one let one rip, a LOUD one too. We all started laughing and like two minues after she goes "Damn barking spiders!" HAHA it was funny.
    
    And yes this coming from a bunhc of girls!
    
    I've also had my husband blame a fart on me a few times out and about...so I do it back to him except I belch really loud and blame him I'm a belcher!

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19. 58

    yoshi97posted 15 years ago

    I'd really like to see someone do a scientific study on why farts are so funny.
    
    It you think about it, they're really gross ... and yet we laugh. Is it the embarrassed face of the farter or the pained expression of the fartee that makes us laugh?
    
    Even an imagined fart can be funny ...
    
    For instance ... picture three old men on a bench. The one in the middle lets one rip and the two guys on the end fall off the bench.

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    1. 68

       wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       
       Yup, I can picture it perfectly...

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    2. 69

       drej2522posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       I would laugh if I witnessed that.

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20. 74

    Eaglekiwiposted 15 years ago

    Yea its a normal body function after all , and everyone does it ,kinda makes us all the same huh

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       Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       I don't.  A real man can hold his gas.

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          Eaglekiwiposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Well everyone knows lady farts never smell stinky

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             drej2522posted 15 years agoin reply to this

             yes, like roses...pffffffft!

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             Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             My mommy always said hers smelt like roses. I beg to differ! I nearly died a few times I swear!

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             Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             Hell, women can shoot from both barrels!

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       2. 58

          yoshi97posted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Bad move man ... containing the gas could rupture the pipes!!!

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             Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             That's an urban legend.  Just concentrate, clench, and let your body re-absorb it.

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                Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                Oh so you want to kill your insides with a slow gasy death huh? lol

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                wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                
                I'll concentrate on that "re-absorb" concept next time I'm trapped in a long meeting...
                Is it like a Ninja technique? Years of practice and training involved?
                

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                   Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                   Or you can be like a ventriliquist and throw your "voice" to implicate someone else.

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                      wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                      You should put together a weekend workshop. These seem to be some well-versed techniques.
                      

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          Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          and then let it escape so that it kills the wife and kids!

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             yoshi97posted 15 years agoin reply to this

             Yeah! Nice play Ron! That move will get you on America's Most Wanted! LOL!

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                Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                I can't stop laughing on this one!

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21. 78

    Nera Woodsposted 15 years ago

    yes, I would have just laughed with you, like how I'm laughing now.

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22. 0

    Crazdwriterposted 15 years ago

    Oh got another good story my hubby was talking to his older brother and best friend. he then stops and goes hey guys I have to show you something. He whips around real fast and farts a huge loud fart. Both his brother and best friend look at him like what, mouths open and everything. OMG! me and my best girlfriend were DYING of laughter. My ribs hurt after that one!

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    1. 74

       Eaglekiwiposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       quit it

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          Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Mwhahahahaha
          
          Oh another one...my friends and I were walking around the mall, i let one slip and everyone blamed a baby that was carried by. I did my best not to laugh so they knew it had been me

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23. 74

    Eaglekiwiposted 15 years ago

    Farting unites people though ,everyone all over the world laughs about it well maybe its a wacky western thing, maybe hubsters will share ..
    
    Your roses smell like ....

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    1. 69

       drej2522posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       we should start a worldwide fart membership!

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          wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          It's a language we all understand, no doubt...

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             drej2522posted 15 years agoin reply to this

             Farts United??

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24. 0

    Crazdwriterposted 15 years ago

    ooo that would be too much fun, Ron. Throwing your voice and make ppl think it was them. *grins evily*

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25. 60

    Randy Godwinposted 15 years ago

    Cupcake farts are the worst!

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26. 61

    sooner than laterposted 15 years ago

    I like the farts that sound like a question mark should go at the end.
    
    ffffhhhmmm?

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       wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       They peter out, but end with an up-note.

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          sooner than laterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          haha, yeah- you got it.

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             drej2522posted 15 years agoin reply to this

             i think those farts want a response!

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             wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             

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27. 69

    drej2522posted 15 years ago

    farts with personality are hilarious

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28. 58

    yoshi97posted 15 years ago

    Somebody HAS to write a hub on this - LMAO!

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       Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       All yours yoshi!

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29. 58

    yoshi97posted 15 years ago

    I'll need a few days to ... um ... do some research. I gotta go walk a mall ...

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       Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       lol you go do that and have fun with it.
       
       OOOO get one of those little farting machines that they sell at Spencers! that would be fun...saw it on Blue Collar and it was hiliarious!

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       wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       The HubMob topic does happen to be Men this week...
       Maybe you can make it topical...
       
       

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30. 60

    thirdmilleniumposted 15 years ago

    Have you seen Mel Brook's  Blazing Saddles?History of the World? It has a most hilarious scene wherein a whole lot of cowboys carry out a chain farting session. Must watch it. Go to youtube.
    URL:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6dm9rN6oTs

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       Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       HAHAHA that one was classic thirdmillenium. Oh that was classic!

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31. 61

    sooner than laterposted 15 years ago

    I always liked this little cherry.
    
    a piece from dances with wolves.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKjFLUFGkws

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32. 0

    Crazdwriterposted 15 years ago

    I haven't seen Dance with Wolves in a long time...I need to get that movie. lol nice fart mention Sooner!

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33. 68

    wyanjenposted 15 years ago

    People who fart when they sneeze are double hilarious.

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       yoshi97posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       That ... my good sir ... is what they call a snart ...

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34. 69

    drej2522posted 15 years ago

    how about people who fart when they take a leak?

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       wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Doesn't that just happen automatically?
       
       ...or am I some kind of damn freak...

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          Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Nope jen yer not a freak happens to me too!

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             wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             Phew LOL

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             drej2522posted 15 years agoin reply to this

             hahaha, CW

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                Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                feel free to tel Cagsil since he is so darn intersted in collecting info about me

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                   wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                   did you see denno's new avatar?
                   I left him a little present in the deppression forum

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                      Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                      Uh oh...what did you say Jen?

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                         wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                         He like my new avatar, and he changed his from sheep to cpt kirk
                         So i left him a present. It is a picture of cpt kirk

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                            Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                            A picture of cpt. Kirk doing what? or do I even want to know?

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                               wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

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35. 0

    Crazdwriterposted 15 years ago

    one of my favorite fart scenes from a movie between Shaggy and SCooby-Doo
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SG5Y3DR_F1k

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36. 61

    sooner than laterposted 15 years ago

    did anyone ever try door farts where you fart against a door. It magnifies.

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       Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       No but my best friend wanted me to go downstairs in my parents house to see if I could hear her fart. Seriously yuo could hear it!

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    drej2522posted 15 years ago

    has anyone ever tried farting into the phone in a middle of a conversation?

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       wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       did into a tape recorder when we were kids

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       Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Hmmm sounds like a convo I had with Yoshi and Anit not too long ago about my husband's butt constantly calling me and Yoshi saying he would call, fart then hang up on ppl.

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          drej2522posted 15 years agoin reply to this

          hahaha...awesome!

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38. 0

    B.C. BOUTIQUEposted 15 years ago

    it simply happens, its a natural funtion everyones body must do..if its bad, laugh it off or just walk away, many people will deny it, but you know as well as I do everyone fats in public!

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    shamelabboushposted 15 years ago

    Oh yeah

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    sooner than laterposted 15 years ago

    Ok, I have two more great youtube vids.
    
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdpC2XBuYvg
    
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpIGPVu8hVU

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       Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       i wanna watch them but can't hubby is doing HW

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    Crazdwriterposted 15 years ago

    okay good phew had me worried there for a bit jen

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       wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Naw, the sheep jokes ran out of legs.
       err, leg.

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42. 68

    wyanjenposted 15 years ago

    yoshi turned me on to this one:
    
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgC_Hz92T9M
    
    check at 1:27

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       sooner than laterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       ok, i think that was actually really funny. what a goof #1. What timing #2. I wonder if he has seen this?

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          wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          I was hoping that would not be offensive,,, thanks for sharing a laff with me
          There are several versions of that.
          I have to think he is aware...
          
          
          ha ha ha
          
          Have a good night sooner

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43. 0

    Crazdwriterposted 15 years ago

    You might like this one guys
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3ejlkzD … ature=fvwp

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       wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       If you see denno, tell him I left him a present.. I'll be at work tomorrow
       It wont be as funny if he goes back to sheep LOL
       
       See ya

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44. 68

    wyanjenposted 15 years ago

    I'm outta here
    Later gaters

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    Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years ago

    I'm going to bed now.  I think I'll put my wife in a dutch oven.

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       wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       ... I've been waiting for that one
       LOL
       my ex used to do that to me... nasty

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       sooner than laterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       haha- the hot pocket.

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       Crazdwriterposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Don't kill her Ron come on...that isn't nice...death by gas from husband's arse

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    sooner than laterposted 15 years ago

    night everyone.
    
    I'm sorry this one went so far.

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       yoshi97posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Apologize for causing laughter and mirth? I shalt slap thee with an angry sea bass if ya be apologizing for that again. There's enough anger and futility on these forums as of lately. A good hearty laugh is well due for all.

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    sooner than laterposted 15 years ago

    it lingered.

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    Crazdwriterposted 15 years ago

    Come on now, Sooner, you know you aren't sorry for this thread. It made a sick girl, me, feel a lot better!

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       Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Ahhh good ol' fart jokes.  Is there anything they can't cure?

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    yoshi97posted 15 years ago

    I laughed so hard tears were rolling down my cheeks.

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    Ron Montgomeryposted 15 years ago

    

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